My boyfriend wants to move in with me and his friend...?

[Anonymous]

... but I don't know how I feel about it. It was origionally just me and him in the plans. This friend of his moved back into town, and he wants to include him. My boyfriend didn't consult me until after he decided this friend was going to move in. I don't know this guy, and it makes me uneasy. They act very close, almost intimate together. I often feel like the third wheel whenever he's around. It's even progressed to insecurity, and fears of my boyfriend being secretly gay. He doesn't want this friends fiance to come. He openly critisizes her as the only major problem with his friend because they fight. Though he admits he knows nothing about her. After I voiced my conserns once, he angrily said this guy is not an option anymore because I obviously don't like him. Then he tells his friends he's still in the plans. Then tells me he doesn't want him to come because he doesn't want his girlfriend to tag along. Just today, I sent my boyfriend a link of a house that is just what him and I were looking for. He went to look at it, with this friend, and texted me saying "we" like it (refering to his friend)... and proceeded to mention all the plans they had for it.

I feel... I can't even describe all of what I'm feeling. Does this register you as strange? Or something you'd be upset about?

[Rykar]

If I were you, I would put my foot down. You need to if your uncomfortable with that other guy. Simply tell your boyfriend that your NOT going to move into a place with anyone else other than your boyfriend. NOT HIS FRIEND OR ANYONE ELSE! It seems to me he is overriding your feelings on this issue and it doesn't matter to him that you do NOT want to live with anyone else. Sounds like your boyfriend is kinda a jerk in this matter. For your own sake, put your foot down with him. Your obviously going to have to spell it out for him, don't do it wishy washy. Flat out tell him your not moving in with his friend and your boyfriend. Unless he gets the idea of his friend moving in with you out of his head, the deal to move in together is COMPLETELY OFF THE TABLE, no if and's or butts.

Do the right thing because once your moved in with him, its going to be hard to move out. (due to the term of the lease) Your gutt feeling is usually the right feeling.

Good luck!

[Asker]

You always give great advice. Thank you.

[Rykar]

Thanks, I try. Hope it works out for you. :)

[yptan37]

Yes, its very strange. If a guy wants to move in with his girlfriend its a sign of taking things to the next level and wanting to know if you 2 can click if you see each other day-in day-out. So the norm would be to move in just with you alone. I think that he might not be ready to move-in with you and that is why this is happening. Whether or not he is gay, its hard to say. But I'd like to point out that majority of guys are straight and chances are he's just close to this person. Personally, if I'd asked my girlfriend to move in with me and she brings a girlfriend along, I'd be upset and suggest we don't move at all.

[ambertaylor]

Seems strange and it will be a little awkward, putting his friend in a third wheel position and seeing as your boyfriend is yours and the friends only connection, I reckon it will be hard to balance his attention out with all of you living together.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

if your not comfortable with it then don't settle for that situation. all of your feelings are valid and those concerns and little things in your head telling you something might not be right is probably something you should listen to.

[sweet_18]

Yeah I'd be pissed. You should tell him that he should be more respectful of you. You feel disrespected. He should have consulted you about a friend moving in before INVITING him to do so.

[Anonymous]

Taster: Think we already discussed this...before you saw fit to block me for some unexplained mysterious reason that I cannot comprehend...why does he think that it is OK to alter your plans and interject a third party into, not only your relationship, your daily living conditons and standards?...That alone is way off the charts...unless your are into some sort of polygamy...my advice has not changed...why would you get into a situation that you know in your heart of hearts you will most likely have to extricate yourself from? You need not be friends if you don't wish..but I wish that you would at least unblock me...o.O

[HeroOfVillains]

Kinda weird that your boyfriend did this. Doesn't seem very mature way to do things. I would rethink if he really cares about you especially if he prioritizes this dude over his girlfriend. As they say, bros before hoes, so perhaps he views you as a hoe.

[shisho]

This is very strange indeed. I would also be very upset just for not being consulted about a big decision like that. And it does not make sense whatsoever to move in together with a girlfriend and another guy. This would be weird in so many ways, so I would definitely never do it. I am not sure what your role in his life is if he is requesting stuff like that from you.

I hope you find the best solution for yourself!

[Andy3185132]

do not be upset, it is not your fault. you should do something good to your health, or move your concern to other things, such as eatting, This way mabe make you feel better! Remember, anytime and anywhere, you should make yourself happy.

[taster]

Thank you! I won't bug you..and I sincerely wish you the best of luck!..(:(:(: