I lent my boyfriend money and now I'm afraid he won't pay me back

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend got his wallet stolen and wasn't able to buy groceries for him and his daughter. I out of the kindness of my heart bought them groceries. Then he proceeds to tell me he has to drive two hours to get his paycheck Because they screwed up on sending it to him in the mail. He asked if he could BORROW some gas money, I was hesitant at first, but he promised he'd pay me back. So I lent him $100 (his car is an suv). He ended up not making it out in time before the offices closes. He then proceeded to ask for another $40 another day to get out there. He ended up getting his check. He promised to pay me back last Thursday, I asked him about it, he said he hadn't got his ID in the mail so he can't cash his check (his check is over $3000) or will pay me back when he gets his new debit card. Its been two weeks. He keeps telling me he's recieve neither one. BUT today he sold his watch to a friend for $1500. He said he'd pay me today, but he leaves to go out of town for a job at 6. I asked him around 4 when his friend was coming. He didn't get back to me till now. It is 6:12 pm. He says he is sorry and his phone died and he is on the train and will pay me when he gets back. I'm starting to get the dreaded feeling that he's just gonna keep coming up with excuses. I know I'm foolish for lending him money, but I guess I have a big heart and I care about him. I will NOT loan him anymore money tho! I have ontop of that $140 loaned him another $60 so all together $200. What should I do if he keeps coming up with excuses? And do you think he will honestly pay me back?

Updates

+1 y

Sooo I think everyone was right. He pulled a fast one on me. He didn't talk to me the entire day and night on Sunday when he was supposed to come back. Monday neither til one am when he said his phone broke and he got stranded. He got a new phone apparently (weird how he waited to let me know til so late). So I asked him how he got stranded. He said he lost his train ticket. They font give you your ticket til you check in and he said he's not comin back til Friday and is just gonna work the whole

Updates

+1 y

Week. I kinda inquired how he could've just lost his ticket so easily since he would've had it at the train station and he replies "damn miss investigator" yea well I smell bullsh*t so I'm gonna ask questions!

[waynef21]

Hard to say, might just be circumstance and he truthfully hasn't had the chance to get the money to you and he will, however, you'll find out real quick once he asks for another loan... just tell him you won't (not can't, won't) lend him anything further until the money you are owed is paid back as he's promised.

I'd also bring up the fact that he's promised to pay it back on multiple occasions which have come and gone, and that a man is only as good as his word... which obviously in this case isn't good for anything but another excuse.

[Asker]

thanks. I'm gonna give him til the end of the month. I will be seriously pissed if he doesn't pay me by then. I may threaten him with legal action (dont think I will actually take it to court, but it might scare him a bit) and the relationship will be over. I'm tired of putting up with liars and people who take my kindness for granted and I'm beginning to get irritated with this one. I loaned $100 bucks to a good friend a while back and he never paid me back so I shouldve learned my lesson then..

[waynef21]

One thing I've learned with loaning money... you might as well not give anyone a "loan" unless you can just give it to them and never expect to see it come back your way.

When a friend asks for anything more than hey loan me 20 till we get home... I start talking about a loan agreement signed in front of a notary and 20% interest over the course of monthly payments of... yah they say forget it real fast when you talk that way...

[Asker]

Lol that's a good way to go about it.

[waynef21]

I've quelled so many friends asking for money that way it's not even funny.

Usually they say hey we're friends you shouldn't need that if you trust me... To which I always reply, we're friends, and there's no money in between us, once you put money between us the friendship isn't part of money, money is money and friendship is frienship, if you want to keep a friendship, don't involve my money in it.

[baliguy11]

might be a $200 lesson. cheap compared to tuition these days. but his sh*t might be real, maybe. but a boyfriend that needs to borrow money from his girlfriend is a red flag. I get the wallet stolen. I am a guy. if my wallet was stolen, it would be a pain in the ass but would not require me to borrow money. and he has a daughter? girl. If you get out of this and it only costs $200 you did well. what you should be asking is not will I get my money back but why am I with this guy at all.

[Asker]

yea, I have my own kid to worry about too. Guess I'm just a fool...and thing is he does make good money, so I guess I felt sorry for him because he is in a sh*tty spot and his bank won't let him pull out money unless he has an ID. I guess time will tell on this one. If he doesn't pay me back, its over.

[baliguy11]

not a fool. we all do stuff with good intentions. but even if he pays you back, really. that a guy long term? just sayin...

[Asker]

Yea. It just hurts that someone would take advantage of me like this. And luckily I just finished school and owe no debt so I'll be moving on to bigger and better things.

[baliguy11]

forget it. it happens. move on. like you say. better things. good luck.

[CatholicVirginia]

This guy treated you like crap and used you. Regardless of whether he pays you back, I say kick him to the curb.

[martyfellow]

Yes, I'd have the dreaded feeling as well. I doubt you will see him again! For sure tell him ou've reached your limit...he might feel guilty enough to pay yu back, eventually!

[martyfellow]

What a liar, the story with his train ticket!

[Asker]

Yea I know! He claimed he mustve set it down somewhere and lost it. Uh huh sure. And then he wasn't supposed to come back til fri because he fig he'd stay and work but miraculously his uncle happened to be there and drove him home last night. He then proceeded to ask me to come over and I fig I would because now I can get my money back and when I was on my way and he calls me to tell me he list his house key and his bro had his spare so he was gonna stay overnight w his uncle. Dumbass...

[martyfellow]

I think it's clear what's going on!

Best Answer!

[Hal2002]

Stop giving him money.

You already know he is not going to pay you back.

[Asker]

Trust me I'm not going to give him anymore until he can prove to me that he can pay me back and keep his word

[Hal2002]

My great uncle told me this when I got my first job. Do not lend out money, you can not afford not to get back.

Read the signs, this guy has had the money to pay you back and has just made excuses not to.

Until he can prove he can keep his word? What do you need a slap in the face? He has show you he can't be trusted, he said he would pay you back by a certain time and he did not. He just gave you more excuses, and don't let him use the kid card on you.