Girlfriends job and homework getting in way of hanging out

[qww382]

My girlfriend recently got a part time job but it's cutting into our hanging out time. She only works 2-3 week-days a week but on the days we work we can hang out for an hour max. The problem is she doesn't have time to do homework on the days she works so the whole afternoon she doesn't work, she's doing homework. It's not fair to me in our relationship that this is happening. I don't want to say you have to choose me or your job, but it feel like that's the only option. Any suggestions?

[Mikishti]

If my boyfriend were to say to me, "You never have time for me, you're always busy with work, college, ect.", I would probably think that he didn't care about the fact I HAVE to work to make a living, and I HAVE to do homework and get good grades. If the other parts of my life aren't important to him, and he tries to make me choose, I'm going to end up choosing my job and my future career.

Cherish what little time you DO get with her. If she cares about you, she'll do anything possible to spend what free time she has, with you. She sounds like she's working hard, but that shouldn't ruin a relationship. Support her, because support is what is usually expected from a relationship.

[lollipanda]

Amen to that.

[qww382]

We're in high school and she's just working to have spare cash. She doesn't have to "support herself". I'm try to be supportive but it hard to be supportive of a girlfriend you only get to see/talk to for one hour every other day

[Mikishti]

Do you text? Also, Skype or Oovoo comes in handy when you two can't find time to spend together. My boyfriend and I are currently long-distance (he goes to college 7 hours away) and yet we always find time to Skype. We both feel this is making our relationship stronger, and we haven't seen each other in almost 3 months now.

[qww382]

We text but before she started working we'd hang out 2-3 hours at least, every day. It's hard adjust and she said that work wouldn't interfere with us hanging out...

[Mikishti]

Sometimes things don't go as we plan. My boyfriend was going to go to college locally so we could spend time together and not be apart. THREE days before classes started, he got a call from a college in Pennsylvania saying they had a kid drop-out and he was the next in line.

So, I let him do what he felt was best. Yeah, it wasn't what was planned, and I hated it at first, but we got around it. Being flexible is key, but learning flexibility is hard.

[CatholicVirginia]

I honestly think you need to be more considerate. You are important in her life, but not the ONLY important thing. Don't you want her to have a future? To be successful?

If you are complaining because you think the stress is killing HER, help her find a stress reliever and take on fewer responsibilities. But if you're the casualty, I think you need to be understanding - that is, if you love her. If not, maybe you need to leave and find someone who can give you what you need.

By the way, you say "we work." Why don't YOU make more time for HER schedule? For the same reason she can't accommodate you. You two are in the same situation, yet you're blaming her and HER job.

[qww382]

It was supposed to say "she works" I have all the free time in the world as I never have homework and don't work. I hang out with her at any time she's not working or doing homework.

[CatholicVirginia]

Well maybe you need a hobby, so you understand why she doesn't have as much time. You need to be more considerate. You are not the ONLY thing in her life, and you need to be grateful for the time she DOES put aside for you.

If that's not good enough, you need to move on.