Didn't respond to cocky/funny text, should I apologize?

Question

Yeah I saw she went on Facebook, not on her mobile though. Still I'm worried if I did something wrong and if I should apologize? especially cause this isint my normal attitude, I'm just trying to spark some interest. why didn't she reply?

This girl kinda friend zoned me because she's "Talking to" another guy. so me and her have been texting lately and I've been making the conversations real exciting and playful and fun

We got to the conversation of movies and here's how it went:

Her: yeah I love horror movies, theyre my favorite! :)

Me: Why?

Her: cause you never know what's gonna happen next

Me: Are you trying to ask me out on a date? I'm a little busy sorry

So yeah should I apologize or say anything? and why didn't she respond? or am I over reacting?

SebastianChato · Accepted Answer

You are saying the wrong things, my good man - you are being cocky, that's for sure, but you are not being funny, and I'll tell you why:

On the first instance, it basically sounds like a neg, not like cocky/funny. A better shot would have been: "Are you trying to ask me out on a date? You flirt ;-)". You see, the way you phrased it (and not using emoticons), she cannot get the funny bit, it just looks like a diss. Or you could try adding "I'm not some mindless piece of meat, you know ;-) I need some trust and comfort first ;-)".

Then, you apologized, which actually sends the message that you are not really cocky, but are actually putting on the act for her; you seemed to her like all those pretentious ponces that try to make themselves appear to be more than what they are. You overreacted, when you should have held firm - as an alpha, you should know you are doing nothing wrong by giving her a little playful tease, so if she got all iffy about it, that has nothing to do with you.

Second, no girl wants to be called a "dirty" girl, unless you know her really, really well. You will recall that girls are socially conditioned to be prim and proper and to repress their sexuality in public. Instead of lowering her defences, you have now increased them.

Basically, I would say she is a clever girl, she can see through your game (because you are not playing it well at the moment), and this is why she friend-zoned you. I would say, keep her as a friend and confidante and a potential wingwoman. It sounds a little too late to now change the pattern you have established in her mind.

It will also be better if you moved on and started flirting with other girls - you will demonstrate higher value, you might just spark her interest, and you will also feel better for knowing when to cut your losses.

loxagos_snake · Accepted Answer

I think you are doing alright there. But please, I know where you are coming from. STOP taking online advice about 'methods that are sure to get the girl'. Especially that cocky and funny thing! It's good to be spicy and flirtatious and some times even a bit 'arrogant' (NOT truly arrogant, just for the fun of the moment!) but this is an attitude that works best with people who do it naturally. You shouldn't force a flirting style down your throat in hopes of getting girls, because things like this -you doubting yourself- will happen.

Anyway, back to your question. Whatever happens, the text is sent. Unless you really insulted her or broke her heart or hurt her feelings or or or...I don't think you should ever apologize. Even if you came a bit too strong as Miss Kelly said (you kind of did!), apologizing won't do your rep any good. If anything, you should show strength of will and never back down, unless you did something bad. The fact that she didn't respond is her problem. If this isn't actually a technical problem, she is being the one who should apologize for being rude. And that 'I told you we are just friends' excuse girls use to scold you, please don't fall for it! Stand your ground and tell her that she accepted to stay friends with you knowing you like her, so she has no right to accuse you of anything. You don't have to be a stalker, but you aren't being one by just playing flirty.

samhradh_leannan · Accepted Answer

Personally, I do think you are in the wrong with both of those comments. The first one isn't so bad (if you were kidding), but you have to be aware of how things can come across via text as opposed to talking, since your expressions and tone of voice don't help relay your attitude. If I received such a text it would definitely sting, even if I guessed that the person was joking. And the awkwardness and potential hurt that can ensue from those types of comments just isn't worth it. Whether or not you want to apologize is up to you, but next time, think about how your statement might sound to the other person before you send it, and when you're joking be very clear about your intentions.

As for the second comment, that was simply way out of line, and it's one you definitely SHOULD apologize for. Unless you are in a close relationship with someone and you know for sure that they won't be offended, that type of comment is inappropriate and impolite, not to mention just awkward. If you want to keep talking to her, I think it's a good idea to apologize and acknowledge the inappropriateness of the comment. Then give her some time and see how she responds.

vishna · Accepted Answer

Lol stop saying suggestive or even remotely flirty things to her...she doesn't seem to want that and she's not even picking you first. Give your attention to a girl who sees you as a first priority not a pot left on the back burner.

Ok the first one was cool from the outside but again she knows you like her so it might have made things awkward. She probably doesn't even wanna approach that bridge(talking to you about dating and stuff) but the second wasn't cool, especially since you said she friend zoned you.

I would apologize to be courteous and take your attention elsewhere.

Good luck

CatholicVirginia · Accepted Answer

The first one was funny. The second one was too raunchy for me, and I would have ignored you as well. Know your boundaries. For me, joking is fine, but something sexual like calling me naughty - an inherently sexual word - is too far.

After the first text, I would have said don't apologize, but say something random later on, either today or in a few days, acting like you don't realize she ignored you. And give her the opportunity to either get over it or bring it up to you, if it really was that important to her. No reason to really worry and get yourself in a snuff over it.

TheStaff_Sergeant · Answer

First off, avoid referring to yourself or your behavior as being cocky to a girl that you like. It implies that you're a pretender.

Secondly, never make comments or jokes to a girl that would make her feel slutty if she decided to date or sleep with you. That's counterproductive.

You are trying to be something that most guys are not, and then you are compounding the situation with your lack of know how. It takes experience to be a bad boy, and even so, all bad boys are not successful with girls.

Adjust your approach, then try again.

ImSoSozzled · Answer

Not saying all pua stuff is bullsh*t...but it mostly is. You shouldn't have to act like somebody you're not just to get a girl to like you. What you should aim for is getting comfortable enough around girls to be able to hit on them and still completely be yourself, and then find girls that like you for you. And just FYI, getting to that point is going to take a lot of rejections, which is totally normal and also the reason most guys don't even try approaching girls. So don't give a sh*t if you say the wrong things because there will always be more girls, but learn from mistakes you make (like this one lol).

Anonymous · Answer

The first thing was fine. You shouldn't have apologized, you just drew attention to it and made it a bigger deal than it needed to be. Nobody would have cared by your next conversation even if she did find it a bit annoying.

The second thing was crude and you have to know somebody pretty well to get away with it. Very unappealing behavior and not 'exciting' or 'fun' in the slightest. Just makes you sound like a creep. You can be fun and exciting without trying to sexualize everything, and especially without using phrases like 'Man your a dirty girl!'

jenni_ms · Answer

Yeah, you're saying the wrong things.. Stop "trying" to be funny.

She may have a different sense of humor than you, and you're definitely making it awkward lol

I'd probably just not respond too, but no need to apologize it wasn't that serious, just stop doing it.

The jokes you tell are more reserved for closer friends who know each others' personalities better, because she obviously can't tell if you're serious or not so she just drops the conversation.

TheDigitalSaint · Answer

You're way overreacting. Let her respond next. Say nothing and resist the urge to apologize. You did nothing wrong. Avoid being the overly "nice guy" or it will shoot you in the foot. Your last message had "sorry" already in it for no reason! Stop saying "sorry" for no good reason if you want to improve with women. You have nothing to apologize for for being a tease.

Yeahhbro · Answer

hahahahahahahaha you messed up badly, that is not how cocky/funny works, you are being waaay too aggressive. I agree with madmisskelly you gotta tone it down, you are just getting to know this girl am I right? You forgot one of the main rules of pickin up and that is to build raptor first! Before getting into any comprimising situation, being a chauvinistic d*** doesn't really work. Now don't be sorry, just pretend like nothing happened, but next time tone it down a little bit more.

Coffinspire · Answer

I don't think she gets your sense of humor yet. I was sitting here laughing but it's because I knew the whole story lol. If someone started sending me texts like that I'd be like... um... okay. It's a little confusing. I'd lighten up on those kinds of jokes until you guys are like best buds and she understands the joke.

And make sure you tell her that you were joking, you don't want her to think you're actually a cocky a**hole because that's probably the biggest turn off ever.

MasqueradeMassacre · Answer

Wow that last update, you're a real a**hole.

"now you're riding guys home? Man, you're a dirty girl."

Stop being an a**hole seriously.

I agree with a guy, You have no game at all. You're just nasty and rude.

TheGodEmperorLeto · Answer

Never apologize for something this small, it'll just make you seem weak to them and not as confident.

VeteranSoldier · Answer

Sorry brother but I read up till I saw "FRIEND ZONED" and I lost all hope and my heart sank to the bottom.

I am so sorry my friend. Once in the zone the onlything to do is go to auto zone, the one place where a man can truly be among friends

ManaX · Answer

That text does look like you're not interested at all tbh, in addition to it almost looking like you went out of your way to be harsh. Bu even so, don't apologize, just act normal if she text's you/when you next see her.

madmisskelly · Answer

You came on a bit too strong.  Being flirtatious- light teasing, complimenting is better than being overtly sexual.

tadpole25 · Answer

your response just seemed random and out of nowhere.

Anonymous · Answer

Stop putting so much emotional energy into a girl who wants to date another guy over you.  Spend that time and thought on meeting new girls.

Girr13 · Answer

I don't think you should apologize, its pretty obvious you were being funny trying to lighten the mood. My guess is that she just didn't know how to respond, so she just didn't say anything.

pips1 · Answer

The more of a d*** you get the more she will run to the other guy stop being a prick and yeah apologize

takesanocean · Answer

I think it's actually funny but ONLY if you were someone I was good enough friends with.  However, if I wasn't all that close to you I would definitely be offended and annoyed.

MasqueradeMassacre · Answer

That was a little cocky, and it looked like you were trying to be conceited.  So yeah, you should apologize.

1cubby1 · Answer

lol that was lame... on your part. nothing serious just a little awkward and not funny.

emzy-89 · Answer

no way. I never respond to cocky comments of any kind and I'd never even think about apologising for it. I can't stand cockiness

JennyBenny318 · Answer

"My phone died" yeah that's what all girls say and it's not true.

geronimojoesaephus · Answer

The first one didn't require an apology.  The second one went way way way way too far.

jpinka · Answer

over reacting, just chill lol and good thing to apologize.

Moloch · Answer

Lol dude. First one, no apology. Second one, I don't know what you were thinking there.

Anonymous · Answer

You may have been trying to be funny but in text it just sounds like a douche thing to say. You could always outright ask her.

Riseagainst25 · Answer

Might as well just stay in the friend-zone since you have no game. Next time you talk to her, don't joke around like that. It's immature.

Robotic · Answer

Don't apologize. just mark this off as a lost cause and learn from your mistakes for next time you like a girl.

crazybastard · Answer

dude you got no f***ing game at all. not smooth.

glitterberryalisa · Answer

overkill.

ahemmm · Answer

@update: smh

Didn't respond to cocky/funny text, should I apologize?

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