Should I tell him I hacked his fb (& what I found)?

[agvangiller]

I've always been a firm believer in respecting each others privacy in a relationship. I've never went through my boyfriend phone or his Facebook until now. I've been in a relationship with Josh for a year and a half and in a way I feel that he loves me but at the same time I don't understand why he ignores me when we're in public even if he invites me to come along. I haven't been on a date in 6 months and he never buys me anything like most boyfriend do.

Anyway I got to feeling like something wasn't right so I hacked his Facebook. I saw on his msgs where he's msgd about 10 different girls since we got together just random msgs like "do I know you & then they will just start talking about whatever never anything sexual tho. I did see one message from about 6 months ago where he msgd this girl & asked"hey, what's the girls name that you were with yesterday" That one really pissed me off.

So far I haven't told him what I found. I'm really devastated but every one of my guy friends who I've asked for advice says that every guy is a dog. And although he may not be cheating on me that he's gonna be hitting up other girls behind my back .

I guess I have two questions.

(1) Should I just let this go & accept it as something with no harm meant?

(2) Should I tell him that I know this stuff? He's probably gonna be mad that I hacked his Facebook.

I just want to do the smart thing here. Please give me some honest answers!

[thatgirl101]

If I were you I wouldn't let it go. But I wouldn't just blow up and get furious about it either. I would sit down with him and talk. A good relationship revolves around communication and without that it will fail. Talk with him, ask him why he ignores you or doesn't make you feel special while ya'll are out.

Ask him if he still loves you and if he is happy, then tell him that he hasn't been making you happy lately but that you love him and want it to work out. Don't ever attack a man with words because they tend to get very defensive. Then tell him what you did. Honesty is another key thing in a successful relationship. If your honest with him he'll be honest with you. But don't just flat out say "hey I hacked your fb and want to know what's up with you messaging other girls"

But ask him if he has found interest in other women or if he has other ideas besides being with you and making ya'lls relationship work.

You also have to ask yourself if you are happy, if you want it to work, because if you have a negative thought about the relationship or just feel unhappy altogether and don't know if its going to work then maybe you should end it. don't try and make something work just because your comfortable with it. Explore your options if that's what you want.

But back to the whole boyfriend thing...

Just be calm and sweet about it while talking with him.

However if he starts being an a**hole to you and becomes a smartass, put him in his place. Tell him your the woman and he will not talk to you like that. There's one thing you should always keep in mind and that is that you never have to deal with bullsh*t. There are so many men out there who are willing to treat you right that you don't have to waste your time on one unappreciative dirtbag. But I really hope it all works out and he is not a dirtbag and can clean up his act with you. Wish you all the best.

[alimahadtheman]

Reasonable advice. Good answer!

[haedis]

When I was younger I used to go through all of my boyfriends stuff. I found some pretty hurtful stuff. However, looking back.. it was kinda sillly. I mean. You will probably not marry the guy. Just enjoy it while you can. If I could go back I would not tell my boyfriend and just keep everything to myself. Trust your gut: If someone is acting strange, something strange is going on, but you don't need to know absolutely everything. Some things will just hurt.

I would keep the knowledge that you have.. and just proceed how you want to. Try to not get too attached and just let things play out as they do. Have some respect for yourself and don't make yourself look desperate. Privacy is a big level of trust and also about self confidence. You gotta have your own life, own love and own self interests to be happy.

People are young.. when you are young you have a lot of interests.. I would let it go, but move on if it bothers you. There are lots o sweet men out there!

[Coffinspire]

I was in a situation like that with my boyfriend, but the convos with the girls were harmless. Anyway so I went to confront him, and then he confronted ME about a harmless convo with a guy friend. So we talked and now we go on fb knowing the other will be watching, and neither of us care because we don't have anything to hide. Same with phones.

He's probably hacked your fb too and hasn't told you yet because he hasn't found anything that bothered him.

[eaeaea]

I suppose if you honestly love him, there's a way to possibly fix this.. but If you're truly not okay with what he's doing, I'd say dump him... because regardless of if you tell him or not, if that's what he likes to do, he'll keep on doing that even if you don't approve of it. Yes, most men are assess but they don't all do that. It seems like he's fishing elsewhere while he has you on the side just in case he can't catch anything better. I would leave him.

[bbutterfliesanddaise]

Be honest! Honesty holds the trust. Ask him ask him about the Face book page and if he talks to any other girls. But then let him know about you knowing about the Face book page and about the girls comment. Face book is nothing but drama

But just remember communication is the key to a relationship

[Anonymous]

He doesn't seem like he's treating you very right.

And you shouldn't have gone through his Facebook.

If I were you I wouldn't stay with him. He should be giving you his attention... more than chatting with a bunch of girls on Facebook, the fact that he doesn't pay attention to you when you're together in public and such doesn't seem right.

[fairiez]

dumpin him or not is all your call...

my boyfriend is constanly out on road flirting wid anyone and everyone...

i am just trying to deal with it... because I think healthy flirting is no harm caused...

[Konnour]

Are you sure?

[fairiez]

yes I am very sure...

can you belive I am wid a guy who is constanly in contact wid other girls flirting wid them...

in my case it not the flirting which is the problem it is his abusive behavior ...

but we must understand its their nature flirting and all( to an extent it is healthy).

and from what I get from your question he is jst having healthy convo wid other girls which is absolutly fine. stop bugging into each others ids and phn or it will create problems between you two...

[jessjessxoxo]

I wouldn't bother telling him ... He's clearly hitting on other girls - you deserve better. Dump him...

Btw, how did you hack into his account?

[Konnour]

Just dump that scumbag, as all the magic is already lost anyway.

[Anonymous]

Here's some advice mind your business and stay out of other peoples.

[Cam187]

i would