I don't party, am I wasting my youth?

[Anonymous]

I am 21 years old and I don't really have a big social life. I have been to a few house parties and clubs in my life and I don't like it. I feel really gross when I'm around that scene because there are a lot of drugs and alcohol around and I'm not into that. I do drink ocassionally but I never get wasted. I don't see the point. I just feel sick and disgusting afterward. Most kids my age are always partying and going out every weekend. I'm usually at home on weekends. I don't have many friends either. I have many in class friends but no one seems interested to hang out outside of class. Many people would never know this is how I truly am because I hide it so well. My friends that go to different schools are all people that have a ton of friends so people automatically assume I would too. My personality is bold, I dress trendy, and quite frankly I just lie about the things I do. I don't live on campus so I don't meet a lot of new people in social settings. I feel like because I don't party and have an active social life I am really wasting my youth. But I don't like partying. Honestly, I don't even know what I like to do. I guess I would like parties more if they weren't so wild. The colleges parties I have been to has had girls raped, so many drugs, excessive drinking, and I just don't like feeling trashy. If I party was limited to weed and not too heavy drinking I would go, but nothing wildeer. I don't even like any sort of drug but people won't get crazy on weed. I feel pathetic. How should I improve my social life esp since I don't live on campus?

[ThenThereWas1]

I honestly don't have an answer I feel confident in for your last question. But what I do want to say is that you're only wasting your youth if you're not doing things you want to be doing. If partying isn't your scene, then don't waste your time on it. I used to enjoy going out to a wild party every now and then, was never super into it though. Now I'm not really into it at all. I feel like I can't relate to most of my friends anymore cause all they want to do is go to raves.

I don't really know how to meet people in college cause I haven't gone yet, been too busy with work. But I hope you get some advice for how to meet people at school. Cause I've met some awesome people at work who are so down to just go out to dinner and talk with me. No cocaine, no rape, no driving under the influence, just appetizers :-P And it's great. You just need to meet some down to earth people that are willing to chill the hell out. But you already know that. It's just about the "how" now. Which I can't help you with. You should make another question titled "How can I meet people at college if I live off campus?" It's more direct, and what you really need to know. Hopefully there will be some answerers more helpful than me. Good luck!

[whattothink]

Dude don't give into the parties. I was never really into that and don't feel left out. I mean I did drink and such with friends but in limited quanities and with just a few friends. Perhaps you are an introvert. I read an article about how it doesn't mean you are a recluse and often are quite sociable. But you prefer more mundane quieter things with just a few people. That's me. I have a handful of friends and guess what I don't want more. The few I have are loyal and honest. They also don't push me to be around groups since more than about 20 people make me nervous. Stick to what you like and don't give into social pressure. (PS when I was trying to fit in I kinda got high and lost my virginity a full year and a half before I thought. It was upsetting to find out much later as I had no memory. On the upside it was to the guy that I gave it to when I remembered and my first serious boyfriend. Though bless his heart he thought we were dating for much longer than I did lol).

[Anonymous]

You need to go out more

At least just try it, you don't have to go every weekend but just go a couple times a month

You don't have to get out of control drunk, get tipsy

[WoIIie]

You'll find that the biggest waste of time is avoiding who you are and what you want out of life, because in the end you are who you are (that won't change) and when everything falls apart, your passion will be the only fire that illuminates the path ahead.

Following other people trying to be cool is a loser's mentality. If you don't like partying, don't party. Hang out with your closest friends and do what YOU want to do. Life is too short to be grazing with sheep.

[jacobbrice]

your social life sounds just fine to me to be honest. the most I can tell you is, maybe relax a little more if you go to a bar and try to enjoy getting drunk, just not beligerent, experiment with drinks find one that's good for you and just chill, other than that, your just fine hun

[Konnour]

You're saving your liver, your brain, your reproductive health and your future marriage

So I don't really think you're wasting anything precious

[Anonymous]

You're wasting your time if you're doing stuff you don't like doing, or if you aren't doing stuff you want to do.

[CaroleP]

If you don't want to party than you shouldn't feel like you were wasting your life

you would feel liek wasting your life if you hated to party and drink but continued to do so

join some campus clubs and meet people! that's what I did!

[temptationfalls]

Join a club or find some local things going on.

[temptationfalls]

Clarification: academic/sporting/hobby club. Not a drinking/dance club.

[Anonymous]

If you don't want to party you just don't want to party. Leave the subject alone.