Men do you have delayed reactions when dealing with a breakup?

[amylouuux]

I've been told By a few people that when men deal with a breakup they have a delayed reaction. for example us women will cry cry cry eat chocolate listen to sad love songs turn to our friends & mum and just constantly talk about the breakup and get it out of our system straight away. however men go out get drunk party move onto the next girl hide there emotion so when the woman has just about finished the mourning process you men are just starting it? is this true? why do men act like they don't care after a breakup and just go out and party when us women are heartbroken?!

[VoiceOfReason]

Everyone handles things differently. Some guys mourn right away as well and some girls tend to party it up right after. I think this is more behavioral based on the individual and not gender specific. Granted it may be more common for women to seek support from family and friends and to seek solace in unhealthy but gratifying foods, but some guys actually rally around their family and friends as well immediately after a break up.

I think it all comes down to how well the individual handles rejection and failure and how quickly they come to terms with it. I also believe that what was lost within the relationship also plays a determining factor in how someone will react. Even additionally, I think who played what role in the break up also has some determining factors on how they react as well as the circumstances of the break up itself. Was this person the one who initiated the break up? What were the reasons behind it? Did the reasons carry any logical merit or was it something concocted to bring about a quick and unexpected exit?

When you factor in all of this I can also safely say that each situation is different and sometimes the reactions will differ because of this and it will all play a role in determining who (girl or guy) and how they will react.

[kholland65]

Have to agree with dutchathiest.

First of all, I think it depends on who is doing the break up. My guess is its primarily women who break up with men. Either way, the person doing the breaking up has obviously already mentally prepared for it and has come to terms with it, so they aren't going to take it as hard as the person being broken up with.

Also, like dutchathiest said, many girls who do get sad, don't stay that way for long because just about every halfway attractive female has at least one guy at any given time who wants to date them. They're sadness goes away fast once they move to the next guy. I know my last serious Girlfriend this was exactly what happened. We broke up, she gives me the speech about us staying friends and that she will always love me, yadda yadda. I completely ignore her to try and move on, but she keeps contacting me and telling me she's sad, and misses me, etc. Then 3 months later she's dating another guy.

There is always another guy.

[DutchAtheist]

I will tell you what happened to me and a lot of my guy friends.

There is a break up and she starts crying. She says that you will always be in her heart, hope you can be friends, she needs some time alone and wants to put her life back in order.

The guy closes himself. He cries when he is alone but tries to think positively. His friends take him out. Privately they support him.

Then, after a week or maybe a month, the girl will have moved on to the next guy. All of the sudden she is happy again. The guy just starts to begin to realize that, although he tried when his friends took him out, it is not that easy to talk to another girl. He thought he could deal with the break up but now it hits him hard.

Not saying every girl does this mind you, but a lot of them will first act all heart broken and then almost instantly go to the next guy.

[amylouuux]

thanks for your reply! & somewhat I do have to agree with you there! although in my case I'm finding it so hard to move on I can't look at another man & I don't even want to! its simply just not the same:/ I'm so hurt and he shows no sign of emotion or weakness that he misses me at all?! I can't stop thinking about him!

[Maxen92]

Every man react differently to a breakup.

It also depends on who ends the relationship.

If the girl does it, I can bet that he will feel sad about it. Might be different if he does it for x reason(s).

Some become very sad, some try to "party" it away in order to get ones mind off of things, some exercise every day etc.

Personally when my ex broke up me, I was sad for a while but I started to do intense, fitness exercising to get out of the sadness. But she's not trustworthy anymore, anyways.

Just because a man doesn't display/show sadness doesn't necesserily mean he's sad.

[amylouuux]

thanks for your reply! and be broke up with me but he admitted that it will be hard and he loved be although he said it was for the best I'm heartbroken I miss him like crazy he just doesn't seem to

care that's all

[Maxen92]

Well, my ex sure doesn't seem to care either about her decision.

But then again she gave up on the relationship, for some other reason(s) than she have mentioned.

[Belgie]

I don't think that's true. That might be something girls tell themselves, because it's hurtful to see their ex move on so quickly.

"why do men act like they don't care after a breakup and just go out and party when us women are heartbroken?!"

Why? Because that's our healing process. We get go out, have fun, get laid if we can. Do anything and everything to put our ex out of our mind. That's how we get over it. That may include getting blind drunk with our friends, hitting strip clubs and taking some skank home for an easy lay.

[KERMlT]

It depends. Depends on how we felt towards the other person. Did we have a feeling the end was nigh? Was it a bad breakup? Was the relationship very draining (emotionally/mentally/physically)?

I recall one breakup as such a relief. The only girlfriend I ever argued with and it was draining. She didn't want me to go out with my friends but would visit hers quite often. She was going to go home one night and got a call to come out with her friends. She said she was too tired to spend the night at my place but went out anyway. I pulled the same thing on her and she got pissed. Too many double standards and all that so I ended it.

I'm a very independent person. If it doesn't work out, I tell myself she wasn't the one for me and move on. Why cry over something that is out of my hands?

[Anonymous]

Men don't have a delayed reaction when dealing with a break up. We simply do not sow our emotions on our sleeves when we are out in public. Our mourning takes place behind closed doors.

"Why do men act like they don't care after a break up." Perhaps they did not care about the relationship as much as they led on, or partying is used as a coping mechanism.

When a guy truly loves a girl, the emotional attachment to her and the emotional exhaustion of the loss will in many cases, prevent him from wanting to be with anyone else for a good period after.

[PhilaPenn]

I can only speak for myself. I don't have a delayed reaction. It always a little weird at first, but I am usually excited to be able to date and go out with my friends and have fun. There is some more anticipation to going out on the town when you are a single guy. I just think it's more exciting. I focus on that and it makes not really feel bad about a break-up.

[amylouuux]

but what if you really did love the girl? wouldn't it feel strange trying to replace her so soon & flirt with other girls so soon? thanks for your reply! however I'm just puzzled that he doesn't show no hurt at all or any sign of weakness that he misses me I was with him 2 years & all he was ever used to!

[PhilaPenn]

You can still care about the girl, but just not want to be with her anymore. I usually knew or sure that things had run their course. When you are talking to girls in bars, it's not about having them replace you ex-girlfriend. No one is going to make a relationship out of thin air so a girl you meet when you are out cannot replace your girlfriend, who was there for so long...but it can be quite fun in the moment.

[Anonymous]

Very true. I broke up with my gf about a month ago. Initially I was a little sad but also a bit relieved. I had more time and I could talk to/hit on other girls and not feel guilty about it. When I broke the news to my friends/fam they were all like "I'm sorry" and I was like "sorry for what?". However its been a month and to be honest it's really sinking in. I can't sleep, barely eat and I'm very embarrassed to admit I've been cyberstalking my ex (looking at her twitter/facebook accounts). I just want to talk to her... but I'm trying to be tough. I know acting needy/depressed will not get her back.

[Batgirl8412]

Hi there. I have know idea how long ago this was posted... but I'm curious about your response. If you were the one that broke up with your girlfriend, why are you trying to act tough and not ask her to reconcile? Why are you assuming she won't want you back?

[Opinion Owner]

She dumped me, but I lead her into it. I started out tough but after 2 months I started to have some serious issues. I wish I would have handled things better. I had a lot of personal issues (my career, financial) that was impacting my confidence when I was dating her. In retrospect I should have asked for a break so I could focus on getting my act together. I didn't want this to be permanent. I still think about her everyday.

[5T3V3]

Me personally find it easy to compartmentalise. don't get me wrong I still hurt, but am able to see things logically and not let emotion get in the way of important decisions. but it does come over like I'm made of stone sometimes. however you cope with it, and however hard it is, you will always get over it though. just don't let your ex take/bad experience stunt your ability to love again in the future hope this helps :)

[Anonymous]

Not true.

It's just that we cope up easily.