Should I believe a guy's actions more than his words?

[all4u]

My coworker and I have become extremely close. We're so in-tune with each other to the point that we finish each other's sentences and know what the other is thinking. We are great friends, and even know each other's families. Here's the thing, this guy has been flirting with me since we first met, but he is in a relationship. When I say flirting, he treats me like a girlfriend, and other people have noticed and commented on this. The culminating point was when we were both sent on an assignment out of town. He would hold my hands, feed me food like we were honeymooners, tell other people I was his wife, and even danced sexily and did body shots with me. I tried to take it to the next level, but we were both too drunk. Before we passed out, he told me he felt like we were past-lovers and asked me if I knew that he loved me. I said yes, I knew. After returning home from the trip a few days later, I asked him about what happened. He then began to explain that he only thought of me as a little sister. I was really confused since how can you do all those things to someone you think of as your little sister? I feel like his explanations were on the cautious side and isn't what he really feels. Am I wrong? Was I reading into his actions more than I should have? Or, should I believe my instincts that this guy really feels something but is too scared of what will happen next? By the way, we still work together and we're still great friends.

[Anonymous]

I also have a best guy friend in my life, and he is just a natural flirt. We have a great connection, and I love him to death.. and he loves me too.. but as friends. This playfulness that he is showing you, is probably just his personality. How does he interact with other girls? He's probably a natural joker, playful and a big flirt. I wouldn't read into this as being anything more-- especially for the sake of the friendship-- draw a boundary here and stop yourself from assuming that there is a chance he wants more..he has a girlfriend. If you claim to be a great friend, then you wouldn't disrespect his relationship, and want to be supportive of him being in a happy, healthy one with his girlfriend.

A question for you too-- when you tried to take it to the next level when you were drunk, how did he respond? I'm sorry, but I must say that this was very wrong on your part. And him doing body shots on you is also very inappropriate.

The fact that he thinks of you as a sister-- should put the answer to your question very black and white. He thinks of you as a sister. He has a girlfriend.

And the poor girlfriend. He must care enough about her to be in relationship with her-- perhaps you should show more respect for her too, as one of his friends, and not be so selfish.

If you want to be a 'great' friend, I think you need to stop acting/thinking this way--grow up--, and stop trying to do your part to ruin his relationship.

Get your own boyfriend..not one that's taken. And start to actually be a true friend.

[all4u]

See, that's the thing. Ever since I met him, he's told me of the problems he's had with his girlfriend. He even compares her to me and how he would wish she was more like me. As for him thinking of me as his sister, I tried to follow his lead and started calling him my big brother, but he didn't like it and told me to stop calling him that.

[Opinion Owner]

We all complain to our best friends about our boyfriends/girlfriends-- that's not out of the ordinary. Every relat. has its fair share of problems. As for the comparison, there are qualities that you have that he loves about you. that's why you are such great friends. But there are qualities about his girlfriend that he loves..that is why he is still with her. I really think that you need to stop reading into all of this. He is still with his gf, so that should make it clear to you where his heart is.

[just_tina]

hmmm...okay my thought is that maybe he's just having fun...you know? since his girlfriend isn't around and you're the closest women to him at the moment. And wow as his sister...some freaky bro you got there! lol

but yeah I think he's just using you sorry...I know I'm young but I still think this guy is wrong.

how could you still be great friends with this guy after he treated you like that...maybe you should limit some things you know? Tell him "no" sometimes.

See how he acts to that, then if he looks really hurt and not like a sad puppy face hurt maybe you can tell time after time how he feels or you should tell him that he somewhat hurt your feelings with the whole sister thing.

Hope I helped...:D

[heavennhoney]

he's playing...! he has a girlfriend...he can talk and play with you and get his ego filled!

Stop before you get hurt...bottom line is if he wanted to have more with you he would have said it and kept you on the side...lil sister...mmmm you don't dance sexually with your sister.

[shellybelly]

Does he ever see you out with other men?

[all4u]

Actually, I introduced him to my boyfriend at that time. My boyfriend then warned me to be careful since he could tell my coworker was interested in me. He's no longer my boyfriend.

[shellybelly]

How did your coworker react when seen you with another man? How did he reatct when you and your boyfriend broke up? Was your breakup due to the coworker?

[all4u]

When I introduced him to my boyfriend at that time, my coworker acted like nothing was wrong. When I was no longer with my boyfriend, my coworker started acting closer than normal. That's what made it more confusing, especially since he wouldn't come out and say how he actually felt. No, the break-up wasn't about my coworker. It was a mutual decision. What do you think?

[shellybelly]

Sounds to me like he just might want to have his cake and eat it too so to speak. I'm not sure...but that is what I kind of feel is going on here.