Why do guys consider a girl who wants to be a stay at home mom a gold-digger?

[Anonymous]

When I was with my first boyfriend I told him I wanted to be a stay at home mom the first 5 years of my kids life if I ever had any. I was still in high school he just graduated college. He didn't have a job or anything and didn't come from a rich family and I already knew that. I told him I just wanted to get a job now so I can afford to be able to be a stay at home mom for that time. I broke up with him eventually. And we were recently talking and he pretty much made me sound like a gold digger. "why haven't you found a rich guy to take care of you since your only goal in life is to be a stay at home mom?"

And a lot of people call me one. I've never used any one for their money. I've always felt like I had to do something for it what I want some kind of work. I even have a savings account put aside that I just deposit in for that reason. And the money is money I've worked for.



I'm confused on how that would make me a gold digger ...

Why is it so bad to want to raise your own kids and not make them spend all day in a day care anyway.

Updates

+1 y

Okay it's not about their incomes I have said that I am saving my own money to be able to stay at home for 5 years with my kids I don't even check their income when I start dating them but always so quick to call me a gold digger when I say what I want to do.

[Phantom-menace]

I can understand you want to be the traditional stay at home mum, you could of done that maybe 50 years ago, when things were cheaper and men were earning enough to support their families.Plus women didn't have any rights.

I am afraid you, have ask to be a stay at home mum in the wrong era.Most men are no longer able to earn that sort of money to feed everyone in the family and pay the bills on top it. Women now can earn just as much as men.

The thing is, times have changed, so any women that just want to stay at home, and doesn't want to go to work, will be thought of by most men as a gold digger, which not necessarily the case. Most couples now, both need to go out and work, because its virtually impossible to support a family just on one wage or even get a mortgage.

I am afraid to say, If you do want to do that, then you will have to find yourself a very rich husband, and is willing to do that for you. I think if you are not married to a rich man, before he comes rich,otherwise its very unlikely he will marry you.

If I was rich, there is no way, I will marry a women and then she get half of my hard earnt money. Its either you get rich yourself, or both of you make rich together. It would be the same if I was a women.

I know a lot of rich people (men) out there, but the women married them before they got rich, they were very poor men, and didn't a have penny to their name. I know lot of rich men, there women actually fund them when they were poor. Example, Gordan ramsay before he made it big, he had huge debts and didn't have a penny to his name, he had his girlfriend paying for everything and paying for his debts, and left her after all that.

To be honest, I don't believe all women are diggers, men can be the same to women. Men actually use women for sex and money. I think women have it harder than men. Men have treated women like sh*t for years now. The younger generation are thick idiots to think bad things of women.

Unless you have got millions in the bank already, and your willing to pay your way, then you can be a stay at home mum. Then you cannot you call gold digger.

[Phantom-menace]

well you just have to prove to them, your not a gold digger, and that you will pay your way. Just say to them, I don't want hand outs or your money. But the question you have to ask yourself, how long will your savings last at being a stay at home mum? I can't see it lasting very long. I think you wanting to be a stay at home mum, is a very unrealistic idea anyway. Because people can't afford to live on just one wage. What will you do, when your saving runs out?

[Asker]

i only want to be a stay at home mom for 5 years. and living just a basic life style.

[Phantom-menace]

Ok, that's fair enough. but the other things, it will be very difficult for you to get job after that 5 year period, unless become a nurse, I know nurses can get jobs just like that. I think your too young to be talking to guys at your age about that stuff anyway. Plus guys at your age, not very mature to thinking like this. You should until you meet someone, and maybe get married, and then start talking about this stuff.

[Phantom-menace]

I wouldn't be talking to guys at your age, about that stuff to early anyway, because all that will happen, is you will be scaring them off. I think you should just take it one step at a time when you are in relationship. Give each other a chance to get to know each other for a couple years first. then ask about the stay at home mum thing. Of course guys at your age, will think you are gold digger, that's how young 20year old guys think. They either think girls like bad boys, or rich men.

[Anonymous]

I don't know. I don't think we do. There's a clear difference between a stay at home mom that manages house duties and a girl that wants a guy's money and the only effort put forth is in her looks.

[pickledxtofu]

Most guys do not have well paying jobs and can no longer provide for a traditional household, so they assume a woman who wants to be a stay at home mother wants them for what little money they want, knowing that the low income is not enough or sustainable

I want to be a stay at home mother, but that entails me cooking, cleaning, raising the kids and him coming home to a warm meal and clean home

[Theguyoverthere]

The thing is a lot of girls, especially single mothers, and not looking for a guy they care about and sniffing out their incomes as fast as possible. I've had this problem with online dating where I would email a single mom and when she found out my occupation, would stop talking to me. When most people think of dating, they think of sharing emotions, cuddling, etc with someone they really like. But girls who are gold diggers fake interest in those areas just to get a guy if he has money.

Keep in mind I have also seen plenty of guys throw all sorts of gifts at a girl who was not into them and when they found out she wasn't interested, immediately cried "gold digger!"

The other problem is that it confuses guys to see a girl pursuing a really high end degree seeking out a really high paying job, just to find out that she has accrued a crap load of debt from collegeand now wants to be a stay at home mom. If she does become that, guess who gets stuck paying off her debt? The husband and he sacrifices his credit rating in marrying the girl too. So a lot of guys see it as a cop-out for a girl who didn't succeed.

If the girl wants to be a stay at home mom, she needs to find a guy who really really really wants children, and those are out there, but not common. Most guys see children is whining brats who ruin the house and cause all sorts of problems and non-stop crying.

[Anonymous]

Guys who didn't grow up with a stay at home parent likely view it as a luxury and may think you -are- looking for someone to take care of you.

Guys who grew up with a stay at home parent are more likely to respect (and maybe agree with) your view.

Wants to be stay at home wife without kids and have a housekeeper and eat out a lot ... is getting into different category.

[Anonymous]

I've never done that. I would actually prefer a girl who wants to stay at home. Gold diggers are a concern in this day and age, but I'm not going to discriminate against girls who want to stay at home because of that.

[artfullyliving]

because they won't be supporting themselves

what a dumb question

[Asker]

yes I would be Your dumb... I SAID I HAVE BEEN SAVING UP ENOUGH MONEY TO BE ONE ON MY OWN. NOT TO USE HIS MONEY K THNKS