Why do Single Moms except a decent guy without kids to find her dateable?

[Snar87]

I’m not referring to the single moms who had a committed relationship with the child’s father and the father is still in the child’s life. The father had something going for him and it just didn’t work out between the two. I’m referring to the single moms who had a child with a guy with no commitment and the guy had NOTHING going for him other then he’s cool. The guy being the loser he is gets up and leave when he finds out the girl he‘s with is pregnant with his child. Anyway, after her first or second (third in some cases) child, the single mom suddenly wants a decent guy and expects a guy without kids to accept her as if she didn’t have a child.

Why do they think a guy without kids who’s in his pre-success years want a readymade family? In the past few months, I had a few single moms who basically whored around with all the wrong guys and suddenly wants me AFTER she had her child or second child. Now she’s thinking about her son needing a father figure in his life. Other than the fact she thinks I’m a stupid, what the hell is going through her/their mind? Wouldn’t it make sense to get a guy who has kids himself? I typically ignore single moms like a lump of plastic.

Updates

+1 y

Again...

- Not referring to the single moms who had a commitment with a guy and it didn't work out and/or the father is still in the child's life.

- Also I'm not referring to the "victim" mom.

- Not the single moms who the child's father died

- Women over 30 is not included here. 25 and under


I'm referring to the women who slept around with the wrong guys with nothing going for them and got pregnant.

[rachiee]

Because people make mistakes and everyone deserves to be treated right and to be happy. To them, having a decent boyfriend and a good father figure is what will make them happy and honestly I don't blame them one bit for wanting that. Of course they should have chose a better person to lay down with but its life and things happen. Does a couple mistakes make someone a bad person and dooms them to have a miserable life for them and their children as well? Absolutely not. I understand where you're coming from but you also have to look at it another way. A child causes the mother (and father if he is in their life) to mature A LOT most of the time. They could be realizing that the a**hole guys they surround themselves with before aren't the type of guys they want in their child's life. I think that you should take it as a big compliment. They look up to you and respect you and feel like you're worthy enough to be their child's father figure, that's a pretty big thing. But also I'm sure that there's women who only go for a guy because of his money but those types of women you can usually point out right away. I think that if you don't want to take on someone else's kids then you have every right to feel that way. It takes a certain type of man to step up and raise another man's child, but don't put these women down because of it. Just simply tell them thank you but no thank you to the offer.

[pipeliner78]

If a man accepts her and he has no children he’s asking for life long trouble. Only a stupid desperate, weak man would ever treat these women for anything but a booty call period extremely bad choices made her a single mom and no goal oriented young man should date or share his life with her or her bastard kids

[iPood]

My stepfather accepted my mother when she already had me : ) That being said my mom was a MILF and I think my stepdad was in the minority. Lots of those women maybe just want the security of a man with a good job and are suddenly realizing "oh sh*t, I don't want my kids to grow up in the ghetto with no father where they'll likely become another statistic" so they go out looking for some guy they wouldn't of went for before they had kids

[Snar87]

So it's more of a "oh sh*t factor"?

[iPood]

well I think (in my mom's case anyway) they start thinking seriously about the future for their kids and how much more crappy it will be if they don't have a father figure whereas before they were just looking for a hot guy not necessarily a good guy.

[lace1228]

Not all single moms are sluts. A lot of women only want a decent man to start off with but they don`t always end up with the decent guy they thought they had. Also there isn`t a lot of women that plan to have a baby on their own sometimes due to sh*tty circumstances it just the way things go. Single moms no matter what deserve a chance at love too and to have the happy ending they intended to have in the first place.

[Snar87]

Two things...

I never said all single moms are sluts. I gave two examples.

I'm referring to the girls messing around with guys who have NOTHING going for them. The guy is not even trying to head in the right direction.

[lace1228]

young girls are naive and men tend to prey on these girls because they are an easy target,thats the problem. Girls want a good decent guy but are easliy influenced by the sweet words and the "promise" that they will be treated well when all these guys want is sex and that's it. This isn't always the case but it is a very common thing that I have seen over and over again. Girls just want to be loved and be in love and unofurently they get used for everything but.

[KieranConnelly1987]

What an absolute crock of shit your comment is.
So, it’s predatory older men seducing and corrupting younger women...
Enjoy life living alone with your cats, man hater.

[Confused614]

People have kids it's what happens. Should a single mom not be allowed a good guy with no kids? Maybe she screwed up when she was younger got with a bad guy had a couple kids. Should she be doomed to being with terrible guys the rest of her life. I don't understand plenty of guys who liked a woman enough would step up to the plate. Just because you won't. If the situation was right and I liked a girl enough I know I would. Don't get me wrong I am in college slowing making my way up the ladder of success but I would definitely not eliminate the possibility completely.

[Snar87]

I said towards the end of my topic, "would it make sense for them to get a guy with a child". So I'm not suggestion them to "be doomed to being with terrible guys the rest of her life." Most guys (and I'm one of them) without kids don't want a ready made family.

[Confused614]

Lets face it some young girl with kids is probably struggling to get by I don't know if the best idea is to add a few more kids from a single father.

[Confused614]

Also there are a lot more young guys without kids then with. So maybe a good single father would be ideal it might not be so easy to find.

[Snar87]

A father who's older and most importantly has his s**t together. Would you settle down with a girl with 2 or more kids that's not yours? Again, she was basically a whore. Truth be told, anybody can talk it but few would actually go through with it.

[Confused614]

Like I said if the situation was right I might consider it. I don't want to say for sure because the situation hasn't presented itself.

[Marinepilot]

No way that single mothers are datable to me. They're used and damaged goods and I want no part of them. I can do better and I won't settle. Being #2 to a kid that isn't mine. Dealing with a crazy motherfucker of an ex, why would any single man with no kids but into that? They wouldn't.

[sikoo31]

i met a 28 year old mother of 2 and I would have dated her. she's chill as f***, shmokes weed. she's suuuper sexy. she's nice, loves sex, and loved video games.

plus she called me a sexy ninja all the time. only problem is that she's in canada haha.

[Snar87]

And how did she have her kids? With a guy or guys with no commitment? To me she sounds like the girl that guys would just smash and chill with, but settling down with is out of the question.

[sikoo31]

she's divorced.

[Snar87]

Since she's divorced she's not included in that box of skanks getting knocked up by 1-3 guys and suddenly wants a decent guy after they had kids by said loser. With this girl, some kind of commitment was there when she had kids.

[sikoo31]

alright

[ambermarie]

Probably because they grow up a bit and realize they need a man not a boy.

I had a 'suprise' baby and my guy could have just as easily left me like most teenage boys would have and hell yea I would have been looking for/expecting a decent guy. My dauggter needs a father figure not a dumb druggie that makes our lives hell.

Me and him are still together tho a lot of times I think it'd be easier if we'd just split up, he's a good guy and keeps a job. My daughter loves him and the both of us see how important it isto raise her together.

[True_Sage]

single moms have the stink of unfaithful selfishness on them. It's all about their kid and chances are they don't want more. No good man wants a single mom. It's only a desperation move. We all know they're petty judgmental and can't compromise. Red flag.

The kids say you're not my dad, and the man gets to make no decisions as mom says "it's my kid". No one wants that. Hence no one wants single moms. You don't even get to feel like a father. Waste of time that just ends in another divorce no way.

[yesthisisme]

I'm a single mother that has no problem dating and no problem finding men that want to be in a relationship... I turn them away for the most part, so there must be guys out there that have a totally opposite view of your problem. Now, I fit closer into your first description; although the father and I rarely speak to each other now... He's still involved (somewhat) in our sons life. So, I have no clue if that makes me more "relationship worthy" than your second description or not...

[yesthisisme]

O, well, OK, haha... Clearly for the same reason they have all those baby daddies, because they're stupid...

[Marinepilot]

No way I'm ever playing second best to a child who isn't. And I'm damn sure not dealing with an ex of any perusaison. I don't have to !

[Sarahplus2]

Sounds like someone is off their meds. I am 25 single mom of two 9 yo boys. I work two jobs, own my home, very little debt. Not looking for a sugar daddy or some father for my little guys. I do date single guys with no kids usually, in their 30s.

[Anonymous]

Well people can still be hopeful even when they are a wreck. That should in no way affect you from doing what in your best interest. That’s like saying a begger/bum/homeless shouldn’t dream of becoming a millionaire. People can still try and dream.

[Anonymous]

I wonder this too. Not many guys are into women with children. I think a woman can find a decent man- but abandon a lot of hopes of finding the man of her dreams.

[Libertycityguy]

How do you determine if they have nothing going for them? How would you know that? Someone shit on you? A single mom dump you? Sounds like baggage on your part.