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It's not 'okay' for either gender. Unless the original spouse died. A failed relationship is a red flag.
Now, THE primary reason not to be involved with a single parent is the simply fact that you will NEVER be their main priority. EVER. The kids, her mom, job, ex, friends, will ALL come be for the new mate or partner.
Secondly, no one really wants to raise someone else's crotch fruit. Primarily, you'll NEVER have final say in ANYTHING, even the kids know this.
And if the ex is in the picture at all, there will ALWAYS be drama, and they'll instantly hate the new partner.
Really, a single parent has no business dating in the first place. Whatever time they have left after working and running a household by themselves, they OWE to their children. That's the least one could do for these disadvantaged children.
When they're grown and gone, then MAYBE they'll be in a place to dip their toe in the dating pool again. Until then, the primary role is caregiver for the children.
1. Few men want to be with someone who has already made a bad choice in men by being with a guy that either left them pregnant, or wasn't good enough to stay married to. (Widows are the one exception, but they are rare.) Not to be mean, but the common thought is that "dating a single mom is like buying a used car at full retail price." Single moms are seen as "used women" to many men. Who would want to date that?
2. Single moms are implied to have made poor life choices; either with the men they choose, or being irresponsible enough to bring a child into this world without being prepared to raise hem to begin wit. And in the real world, single moms ARE often working class/lower class, low educated women (of any race). Just on the quality of woman, they are often not too high up.
3. You will ALWAYS have to deal with the kid (s) in her life. Unless she's an awful mother (which would be even more of a turn-off), her kids are always going to be there. Some people don't want to deal with snot-nosed rugrats, or pretending to be nice to them when they don't know them, or the kids are ill-behaved.
4. You will always be expected to have to get along with the kids, as well. You're not just pleasing the woman; you're expected to make the woman AND kids happy. It's literally more work for less payoff.
5. She will never have as much time for you. Inbetween work and parental duties, she will have less time to devote to you, if any at all. She will also likely have to have a full time job, and possibly need a babysitter, as well.
(part one)
6. You will ALWAYS be the dead-last priority in her life. Her children come first (unless she's a sh*tty parent.). Then her. Then her family. Then her pets. Then her friends. Then her baby's daddy. At DEAD-LAST, will be you.
7. Single parents ALWAYS want to make you the surrogate parent, no matter what they say. They may put it off for three months, six months, maybe even a year. But at some point, they ALWAYS will want you to start changing diapers, or buying toys for their kids. Every single time. And to be fair, if you've been with her for that long and don't start "liking her kids," it does come off heartless on your end. But that's exactly why you shouldn't date single moms, in the first place. Unless you like children.
8. You will have no legal or social responsibility to these kids, yet still expected to provide for them, anyway. "Cause it's the right thing to do," according to her. If they're bad little monsters, you can't spank or discipline them. If they're mean to you, you can't say much, given she is their mother and all, and you are the intruder in their life. So in other words, you are expected to be a father, but without any actual parental authority. Since you're not their parents. Even stepparents barely have any authority to raise others children.
(part two)
9. Single fathers have all these same drawbacks as well, if not more. The argument of "It's ok for a guy to have kids" is a complete strawman. Also, guys can't get an abortion and have literally no reproductive rights or say-so in the fate of their unborn child, where as women can get abortions or use birth control. So if anything, single fathers are slightly more desirable than single mothers, who had full control of her fate (aside from widows) to be single mothers.
10. There is nothing a single mother can provide a man that a childless woman can't. Only if the man actually loves children, has his own children (a single father), wants children himself some day, or sees something REALLLLLLY special in the woman, would he be getting anything beneficial out of dating a single mother. Otherwise, it's all negatives, more work, more people you have to please, less time with her, you are dead-last in priorities in her life, she likely won't care for you as much as a childless woman would (she has kids and relatives to give more of her love to), and so on. There is literally no positives that come from dating a single mother, and a ton of negatives and extra obligations that do come with it. Why would anyone want that?
(part three)
Many guys don't want drama from an ex. Nor do they want to raise another man's kids. If they don't have kids already they usually don't want them or theyre waiting to find someone to join in that first experience with. It's more special that way than with someone who already has kids.
Because most men don't want kids that aren't their own, especially if they're on the younger side. Once they're teens or older, there isn't much interaction required with the kids.
Opinion
40Opinion
I have tried! God be my witness, I have TRIED!! The CHILD must come first, but so many cancelled dates for no baby sitter, or sick child, and not mine!
What do you expect? You have this child with another man, and constantly screwing up 'dates' and I HATE, HATE how I feel angry, jealous, knowing the CHILD MUST COME FIRST!! How can you expect another man to step into that mess?
But I meet another, no child, free, and no issues? Hate me if you want, but it is unfounded, FUCKED UP HATE, because I didn't make your choices, and when there is another, and we can share time, and not worry about a child, how can you judge and wonder why?
I know this sounds self centered and I agree that it is but kids are a big responsibility. My best friend married somebody that had a kid. His life was entirely different after that and not for the better. The kid did not like him and it caused lots of friction. The mother always took the kid's side. My friend supported them for a couple of years and even left college to do so. Then one day she asked him for a divorce because she said it wasn't working for her. A few months later she married her dentist.
So she found 2 guys? Wow
multiple reasons for me.
- the baggage of having the father of your children to deal with.
- if you're the kind of woman who makes the father fight in court to see his children.. red flag and i won't go near you
- being involved with the mother also means being a father figure to the kids, Last single mother i dated, the part that hurt the most was not the break up with her, it was seeing how hurt the kids were that they would never see me again. won't do that ever again.
And just because you have issues finding men as a single mom, does not mean that single fathers don't have it just as hard. they do, Most women run scared when they find out that he is a single father.
It goes both ways.
No offense, but when there's 4 billion women in the world, why would I possibly want to settle with one who has someone else's kid? That's a massive responsibility. Like literally the biggest possible in the world. Most people want to have their own children when they decide they're ready, not some other dudes kids whenever you decide they're ready. I mean honestly what do you expect?
Oh man, so the women with kids get to avoid ugly bitter men like you but us ones without donāt? That sucks.
he's not bitter he's honest. Most guys don't wanna raise another man's kids. That's putting their time and money into someone else's kids most don't want to do that they prefer spending money on their own kids.
@iseekpinetrees the voice of reason, it appeared!
well first off her kids are her first and constant priority (as they should be) which means she wonāt have as much time to hang out as a girl that doesnāt have kids.
A single mom has already had one mistake the likely hood sheād be willing to get prego again is very high so you have to be extra careful.
There are states with crazy laws where single moms can pull some wild shit. I think itās in Washington that if a single mom and her kid lived with her boyfriend, who wasnāt even childās father, long enough she can say the the kid considers him dad now and he actually has to start paying for the kid!
I think saying guys are scared to date single moms is incorrect itās more that they should be cautious.
This is asked repeatedly. Why would a childless man want to get serious with a single mother? He will always come in second to her children, and then there is the father (or fathers) to deal with. āWant to go...ā āI canāt get / canāt afford a babysitter.ā So much fun.
Well I can't speak for all men, and I'm not sure why you're saying it's ok to be a single dad but not a single mom, but I personally wouldn't have much of an issue dating a single mom except that I don't think I'm ready to have a kid yet. Even if the mom doesn't expect me to if I'm dating her it feels like I'm also getting the kid (s) you know? Not everyone wants that especially not right away, and some guys probably would feel weird having a kid that isn't theirs
It's funny that when a guy doesn't want to do something, it's because "he's scared". No one is scared of single moms. They just don't want to be number two to a kid that isn't his when they can find a woman who doesn't have kids and can make time for him.
Are you kidding? There are plenty of guys willing to date/marry a single mom.
You just have to be prepared to aim lower from your usual crop of studs - because these are the guys that can't land any women, but are willing to give up their weekends and money to bang a decent looking woman willing to stay with them.
I have known several women that married guys that they wouldn't have ever talked to when they were without children. Situation changed.
The problem isn't her having kids, its usually that her Ex is usually involved in her daily or weekly life to see the kids.
So its virtually impossible to form a normal relationship and date in the normal kind of way.
The kids become the dudes āproblemā they basically adopt the children and will ultimately pay his hard earned money to support their well being just so he can keep tapping your pussy. Young men who are child free and can be selective with their mates stay far away from women with kids.
Who told you guys donāt date single moms? My dad dated my single mom. Even married her and adopted me.
There's no legal obligation to do so.
To not date 'you' is as much an individual and personal and rightful decision as
it was 'yours' to have a kid (or kids).
Well, kids are time-consuming, expensive , and a lot of work. Who wants to sign up for that when itās someone elseās kid (s)? And Iām a father myself.
If you want to make a art piece you need a blank canvas..
You cannot make a new art piece on a canvas that already has something on them..
because they have kids and dont to take care of them just f the mother
There are a number of reasons.
Some guys just don't want to deal with kids.
If there are kids there is a father involved.
I for one don't want to deal with a third party in my relationships.
Single mom is worse than every way compared to a woman without kids.
Why would a guy want to raise someone else's kid? That's why..
Why would they want to date a single mom is my question?
i wodnt mind raising kids the problem is i dont want to have that responsibility I wanna have a free life.
maybe if i wanted to settle down i would
Thanks
i plan on marrying a single mother anyway maybe in my 25 27 years old or something when am more secure with my life.,
thxz
skip that
its ok in my op
yep/
probably caus am autist :P
oops i diddnt mean it that way lol i meant like I actually might be autist according to my life coach shi i sounded bad my bad !
my bad
Thank you your sweet
:) ./
I pretty much only dated moms with a few exceptions. The reasoning behind that is I didn't want somone with no experiance as a parent... being one myself.
Like i am eager to do this , but never found one , they are experience holder
Not all people have the temper for handling other kids people and take their responsibility.
I'm dating single mom.
We had awesome sex. No drama. Always realstic. I'm loving it.
Many reasons... they are basically a walking sign saying āI make bad decisionsā
and thereās so much involved in dealing with another manās child
Don't wanna deal with your kid unless your going to have my kid and even then it's not worth the baby daddy issues or disrespectful child.
Also the type. of woman single. moms tend to. be
Depends on the guys. If you're talking young guys that don't have children of their own, it's because they're still children themselves
Umm I'd love have friends with benefits like relationship with single moms but I'm not sure about serious stuff
Guy's don't want someone else's used up left overs.
Probably because they don't want someone else's kids.
Troll? Guy on a girl account huh, trying to push an agenda.
? Doesnāt change what I said
Just because you wonāt date dads doesnāt mean plenty of other people will. Same with this asker trying to push the agenda that people wonāt date single moms when thatās clearly not true, pretty simple
Why donāt people want damaged goods is the question basically
and itās highly rhetorical
dismissed.😊
they dont want to be bitchslapped if they dont do the dishes
Because they think single moms will not allow to date them. Likebi am ready to datr any single moms don't havr guts to approach.
I actually think it would be easier dating a single mom because I'm a single father.
Being single parent makes it hard to date
They don't want to raise someone else's kid.
It's emasculating to our male ego and pride.
Because most guys don't want to fix your mistakes that's why. And single fathers aren't that desirable either.
Kids are a responsibility not everyone wants
I did a myTake on this subject:
Heavy baggage. But I don't think of it that way
well, is there a single mom around here?
I have no. problem with single moms
I don't because I don't want kids.
Its a lot of commitment
They always tired and angry at something
maybe
Shallow beings
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