Are single moms a turn off for guys?

Question

I am a single mom and have been divorced for 2yrs and I was wondering if this is a turn off for guys

capncool · Accepted Answer

Not ultimately a turn off, but for the sake of pragmatism I would honestly prefer to date someone who doesn't already have children. But its not a deal breaker, and if I like her enough then I wouldn't be turned away by the fact of her having kids.

If I do date a woman who already has children and long term is a possibility, then for me personally its a requirement that she gives me at least one child. If I'm helping her raise her children, then at least one of them should be my biological child. Sadly though, even though I would do my best I don't think I could ever love the other children as much as I would love my biological children.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It would not be a problem at all for me. I find some of the answers here amusing from the fellas. I guess some guys only worry about what they can get out of a relationship and need to keep score. Relationships are not about what you can get out of someone.

imnotinsane · Accepted Answer

It's would be 100% different if the guy had kids, single father ( to all you men who say no I wouldn't)...I don't mind dating a man with kids. Lots of people these days having kids, when your older and single, sometimes you just have to go with it. And really what does it matter if you like the person, and who they are inside!

BrunetteNYC · Accepted Answer

I only have one kid, can't say that it was a big problem to guys but then again, I admit, my daughter still comes first. But that's what I owe her if some man likes it, or not, at least until she's 18. Honestly, lots of men are quite selfish and want your attention 24/7 and to raise their kids.

goodvibes · Accepted Answer

It depends on the guy, his age, his maturity, and his goals in life. But it really isn't a "bad" thing to have brought beautiful children into this world. It never holds you back. In fact it can act as a good filter to weed out the men you don't want to be with anyways

1932ct · Answer

I don't think its the kids I think its the responsibility.

before I had kids, and after I separated and my kids where young it didn't bother me I dated a girl for awhile who's daughter was a little younger then my youngest son so it wasn't a big deal then , but now that they are older and I am actual looking at "freedom" I shy away for single mothers not that anything is wrong with them but I know the responsibility raising kids takes and I want the freedom to do some traveling and other stuff now so it isn't fair to me or her to start something

NO joke you think single guys run away form single moms well those single girls when they find out you have kids who live with you a lot of them break the sound barrier getting out of there.

AndyWes · Answer

It's going to be a big turn off for most men, honestly. Look at it from their viewpoint.

Woman A: already has a child--a constant reminder of her past lover, who is likely still a factor--and she has to put her kid first, so you never will be number 1 for her. Plus the added responsibility and simply less mobility.

Woman B: no kids, if you fall in love you'll be her number 1, she has no extra responsibilities, no past lovers hanging around, no need to schedule babysitters, and if you did want to start a family with her, you could, from a clean slate.

Theguyoverthere · Answer

At first it was just a basic turn off but I'd still get them a chance. Then I gave a few a chance and now it's just a flat out dealbreaker for me.

Almost all of them have too many issues, bring up their kids way too much, constantly go on and on about the ex and how they are trying to crush him in court (even telling me underhanded ways they are going to win custody). Plus most of them I find are just looking for a guy to move in with so they canget outta their parents' house.

I used to give them a chance... got stuck in these situations... now I just skip them altogether. So while I am sure there are good single moms out there... I will never meet any of them because of these things I got tired of putting up with. Having to be stuck on the phone with a drunk mom telling me how she got high and had sex but was too lazy to take a morning after pill (how she got pregnant) is not my idea of a fun conversation.

Anonymous · Answer

It can be a turn off but being a single mom in and of itself isn't necessarily a turn off. If the single mom doesn't know how to balance between her kids and her new relationship with the new guy then it's a turn off. If she knows how to balance the two then it's not that big of a deal. It also depends on if I like her kid (s). If I don't like her kids then it's a turn off and I will be doing both of us a favor by rejecting her. She would avoid a guy that doesn't like her kids and I would avoid dating a woman that has kids that I don't like. If I like or even love her kid (s) then it can actually turn me on to date the mom. Obviously I would have to like the mom as well, but if I like her kids it just makes it much more enjoyable to be in her life since being with her kids would be a pleasure and not a chore. So, it really depends on a lot of factors so I can't say yes or no to it being a turn off.

Anonymous · Answer

I would say yes... nobody wants to be with someone who already has children from "somebody else" single moms are "everywhere" now... single childless women are extinct. Or, the ones that are single and childless, don't want any kids you can't freakin win... there is no privacy with a single mother, and very short lived (free time)... her kids will "always" come before you... Plus, who wants a guy (their father) coming around once in a blue to pick them up or a visit? (if he's still around)... I don't... And then, there are the silly moments together,... over a pizza or something, and one of the kids says something silly or misbehaves and she'll say something like... she/he is just like their father... who wants to hear that sh**? Stay single save yourself the headaches of ever finding the right one.. save your money and enjoy life as a bachelor... It might be better than you think. Marriage isn't what it used to be these days...(depending on the couple)... which is rare in our times...

DodgersGM · Answer

If I'm being totally honest, then yeah, it'd be a turn off for me.

I highly doubt I'll ever even want kids, and raising someone else's definitely doesn't appeal to me.

Not to worry though, I'm just one man's opinion, and I'm sure tons and tons of guys would be up for it! :-)

asker999 · Answer

I have only been willing to date 1 girl who was a mom. But despite getting pregnant at an early age, she still got her degree relatively on time, held a decent job, and continued on living her life while raising kids. She got married and then divorced a few years before I met her.

The only reason that I was willing to date her was because she kept her life together, which is tough to do with kids. And the fact that we got along really well.

True_Sage · Answer

No one in their right mind wants single moms. Bad track record. Women start 70% of divorces bc they think Mememe and rarely compromise or treat their men right.

single moms have the stink of unfaithful selfishness on them. It's all about their kid and chances are they don't want more. No good man wants a single mom. It's only a desperation move. We all know they're petty judgmental and can't compromise. Red flag.

The kids say you're not my dad, and the man gets to make no decisions as mom says "it's my kid". No one wants that. Hence no one wants single moms. You don't even get to feel like a father. Waste of time that just ends in another divorce no way.

Gross

james_000 · Answer

Not at all. I love kids and kids sense that, and they really like me. I think kids are closest to what a perfect human being should be. They're pure, simple, honest, do not see a color, or race and all the other great qualities, that us humans lose, once we grow up.

JohnB1 · Answer

To single dads, No you are not a turn off

To single guys without kids, Yes you are a turn off

Single dads understand how you feel at this point in your life. You will have more in common and have a man with patience and that will become you partner.

It would be realistic to expect a single guy without kids to want you and stay with you.

ironeddie · Answer

No problem at all. I know plenty of single women with kids that I would date.
I love kids.

In fact I've got a huge crush on a single woman with a 2 1/2 year old.
The little girl loves me. Now if her mother would feel the same way. Or at least show a hint that she does. LOL

iknowstuffaskme · Answer

If you were my age yes it would be a turn off because you would be a very young mother that messed up really bad somewhere in her life, but in your age I don't think it would be a turn off. I mean if you look cool, your kids seems to like me, I don't need to provide 100% for you AND you are willing to have more kids then I'm perfectly fine with it, I would like to be a father some day so I would like to have kids with you but would also like to raise your child

Anonymous · Answer

No go for me. I have no time wasting money on a relationship where I always have to put more into than if i was with a single woman. I can't truly "love" a single mother because that would mean I must than love the kid, thus increasing my cost without anything back in return.

And when things go south, oh they will I would have wasted more on her and the kid than i would building a relationship with someone else.

Single mothers are also a bad case because it shows somewhere she is unable to make sound choices. She couldn't keep her legs shut. Or She couldnt choose a good partner, or her herself is a poor partner who screwed over another man and took custody. it's a bigger risk than it should be.

And oh please dont give me that she's single and can take care of herself. Most single moms are in worst positions than the few who were able to do something with their lives.

truthbeknown · Answer

Depends on the kid (s) and ex situation. I am interested in starting a relationship with her first, then progressively met the kids. I wouldn't be interested in asking out a single mom only to jump into an instant family. That will all come in time. I also under stand the kids still need to see their natural father if he is still around. If that is made to be too awkward all the time for unnecessary reasons, I think I would bail.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, it's a turn-off for me. I couldn't imagine getting serious with one because I would want the child to be the first for both of us. I couldn't imagine having a one-night stand because it would bother me to interact with the kid. Or just knowing that I might see the kid 5-10 years down the line when he's old enough to understand sex and tell him with honesty "I fucked your mom"

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't want to be romantically involved with somebody who already has kids. I have nothing against single moms, but I'm not at a point in my life where I'd be ready for that. Once I had a career established and my life was a bit more stable I'd totally be open to it. For me though, if I'm not prepared to be involved long term, I don't get involved at all. So by that reasoning, yeah it's a turn off.

iUnderachieve · Answer

Well being raised by a single mom it's more of a turn on to see an independent women being able to handle herself and her kids. Especially if she is doing a hell of a job, it makes her that much appealing. Also if I was very much attracted to her..well..you get the rest.

KLTheErudite7229 · Answer

If I am a single dad I wouldn't find it a turn off, me and her could be the brady bunch lol.

GoldCobra · Answer

Well, yes it would turn me off because I want to start my own family some day with my own kids. I know one cool single mom and I know she will find the right guy who is willing, but personally, I can't do that.

ani123 · Answer

lol it's funny how for guys, single moms are turnoffs whereas for girls, single dad's are turn ons. I don't have an opinion on that, but I know a lot of females who have a thing for single dads which is kinda creepy lol

Denise2005 · Answer

If they can't except your kids they are not worth it. I'm a sing mom I have been for 3 years I really not date, because my son is my first priority. When I do go out with someone I don't let them meet my son for awhile. I don't want my son to become attached to some guy and it not work out.

Jammypeony · Answer

I know many guys who've gotten with single moms. It's just a matter of who the guy is and what he likes/doesn't. Guys who are ready to settle down for instance; like the fact that they can pretty much walk into a ready-made family.

Batman1435 · Answer

Biggest turnoff there is i mean sexually i don't care If you look good that is sex and a dating is cool as long as your kids aren't in the picture (my place never yours) but no way I could ever commit to you or your kids sorry but kids are extra baggage i don't need

Prof_Don · Answer

Doesn't turn me off...mainly because of my age. At age 28, women my age are more likely to have a child or a divorce / broken engagement.  Plus I like kids.

Keyspirits · Answer

Solly but i gotta say yes..totally 100% turn off >.>

davids88 · Answer

The bitter truth about single moms in a single image. Have a good night single moms.

Exogenous · Answer

It is a bit of a turn off for me and at least most men. However, turn off is not the same deal breaker so I have dated women with kids before. As they had enough positives to compensate for that and the circumstances around the child were very understandable. Honestly almost stayed with one women just cause I felt so bad for her son as she was windowed. For the majority of men I think it is a turn off too but not for all and for some it is just a straight deal breaker.

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on your age, but usually yes. It makes us think that you are unreliable and don't think things through. Unless your baby daddy was a criminal or a cheat, why aren't you still with him? Didn't you consider the strength and stability of your relationship before creating a life? And if it was an accident, why? Didn't you plan ahead and use birth control or condoms. Yeah yeah nothing is 100% but it's still pretty unlikely both failed. Most of us want a woman with a little more common sense.

MrAtticusLebowski · Answer

I don't have an issue, I've actually dated single moms before. It gets kinda tough when the kid is too much to handle and you can't say anything.

princesswitch · Answer

I kinda thought it would be for some reason, but I know plenty of guys who would and have dated them since I started college. I think as long as he likes kids then it's fine.

rogue_alpha · Answer

Huge turn off. Not a chance in hell I would date a single mother.

futureSURGEON · Answer

they are to me. i say this only because i'm not kid friendly, i don't want any of my own.

MementoL · Answer

I don't think less of them as a person. Things happen. But I would never have any interest in dating one. I don't like kids.

R3d_Anonymous · Answer

No, kids aren't a dealbreaker for me. I know I'm very young to be saying this but there are a few girls at my age who have a kid, and I would date them.

Nirvana74 · Answer

I would think not but then again there are some that would stay clear of single moms, I'm guessing because they have no childrenthem selves.

Thatguy321 · Answer

Im 19, i dont see it as a turn off at all. Wouldn't disqualify me from dating you if you were my age or whatever

ArtDent · Answer

Every man comes in third in the life of a single mom. 1st it's her kids. Then it's her. Then it's you.  Period. Okay to date, not okay to mate.

NightBlindness · Answer

I think younger men would find it a turn off, Older more mature men wouldn't see it as a problem

EvilPimp · Answer

They're alright. As long she doesn't have a gang of kids like 4 or five with multiple daddies and baby daddy drama

iamnotalizard · Answer

Yeah, it's a deal breaker for me, unless the girl was one in a million. Some guys are okay with it though

Koldhearted · Answer

If I'm not bringing my own kids into a relationship, then yes, it'd be harder to date a single mom

kittylove94 · Answer

If they can't accept the face you have children then they aren't worth it

Averageusername · Answer

Yes and no i mean i do fantasize about them but i dont think about having long term relationship with them. But you never know

pooper89 · Answer

Yeah it's a turn off of course but if a guy likes the girl I don't think it'd be a deal breaker.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not a turn off for many, but it's a dealbreaker in terms of gf/relationship material for quite a few. Turn off is something different.

Socialrealist · Answer

It's a turn off. You're pretty much screwed in finding another partner.

SaVes · Answer

Guys, am I a turn off to you?

jamaall89 · Answer

Split right down the middle. Interesting. Personally, I don't think it would bother me too much.

erock13 · Answer

Nope as long as you leave the "ex" drama behind. And you have your shit together.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not a turn off. If I find her sexy, I find her sexy.  Now, would I date or marry a single mom? Absolutely not, under no circumstances.

gwen2me · Answer

I am happily married; however, if I was single it would not be a turn off, as I love children.

ledfoot64 · Answer

f a guy loves kids then no

JustinCaseUDontKnow · Answer

Not a turn off to me, i think it's cool

biggie90 · Answer

Yes I personally wouldn't date a single mom.

Chris011 · Answer

No, definitely not a turn off for me.

adamski24 · Answer

No not for me it's not.

PublicEnemyNumber-1 · Answer

Yes, it is. I cannot stand children.

SaltandVinegar · Answer

For me yes it is a turn off

ThreeIn · Answer

I love single moms in more than one way.

Anonymous · Answer

Single dads are the best bet...

Are single moms a turn off for guys?

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