Well, this is a new one. Some career counselor has advised women not to wear wedding rings to job interviews because it gives the impression that they're "high maintenance." It started with this blog post and then blew up on social and started spilling out everywhere. The exact advice reads as follows:
""When a man sees that ring he immediately assumes you are high maintenance. When the woman at the office who has the largest diamond on her finger, sees that ring, she will realize that if you are hired she will fall to second place and will, therefore, not like you. Lose the ring!"
Wow. What do you think?
Yeah, I totally get what he's saying.
Uh, no, he's an idiot.
It doesn't mean she's high maintenance, but I wouldn't wear it to a job interview, anyway.
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Do you agree that a wedding ring means a woman is high maintenance?
this is gonna be fun, i'm gonna hit the thread with lots of fact so advanced apology to @fairytale in case i derail it somehow
first, did you know that the ancient worldwide culture of diamond rings and its absolute need in marriage was actually artificially created just over a hundred years ago by the de beers mining cartel? they found the single largest diamond mine in the world that gave them at least 3000 years worth of supply but they knew that only the super rich could ever afford them and nobody else had any reason to buy these overpriced rocks, so they manufactured the idea that "a diamond is forever" and had to be necessary to marry a girl, since they monopolized the market they had full control over everything and got away with all their bs, in fact diamond is so worthless that without the illusion of engagement rings they would be roughly the same price per ounce as gold today.
diamond practically only has use in diamond cutting tools like deep boring drills and oil mining rigs as well as several power tools, and up until recently used to make scalpels (not anymore because lasers can do better), and also to be used as a prism for some powerful optical devices, that's about it.. diamond is lucky to be more useful than gold, since all gold was ever good for was as a superconductor and they've been replaced with fiber optics now
so in short diamond is worthless and gold is worthless, both materials are used for engagement rings, so if you had one would you think you're special or worthless? (i'm using reverse psychology with the classic de beer advertising charm to sway you :p)
if you don't believe me then here, i have a video for you :D
I think there are a lot of ambiguous definitions throughout the article. I understand that people might (not does) judge someone from their wedding/engagement rings. But the judgement is completely dependent on the person who's judging as well as the person who is wearing it. People may judge that a lady who's in their 40s (say) who isn't wearing a ring is "high-maintenance" because it may seem that she can't settle. People may judge that a person with a larger than normal diamond engagement ring is "high-maintenance" because she's marrying a rich man or she's persuaded an average man to get her an excessive one. So, I think really the argument is inconclusive as there are a lot of variables to it.
But how would a woman with a ring be high maintenance? Is it how she works? Her attitude? Some type of entitlement?
The only only way I can see this relating to high maintenance is if maybe she has to miss a ton of work days becuase she has kids. If a kid is sick, or something happened at school, usually, the mothers leave work or have to stay home to babysit. If somebody isn't there working, this can be a burden among the entire team. I work with a woman who has a disabled husband. He's an amputee, and she too, is always sick. She's rarely there and they can't fire her for it. Our boss would freak out when she sees the ton of work left behind.
The Ring and Everything, Like a Hug Wedding many times, Seems to be just A... Tradition. However, when I had Married a Muslim Man out in Egypt, we got Married at the Ministry of Justice, Picked out our Rings Way Before the Big day and Wore these Ahead of Time But... I never took his Last Name for it was not Part of Tradition but of their own Customs out in Egypt. High maintenance is Some girl who Has to Have a Fancy pants Band a Million Dollar Wedding with all of the Trimmings. Good luck and Great question, @fairytale. xx
Its a cultural thing. Diamonds are made to be rare. They are rare but not that rare. De Beers I think owns like 70% of the market for diamonds and they also control the supply. They have many many diamonds for sale for saturating the market will severly reduce the price. That stone ain't worth thousands
Anyways, the big rock comes from the idea it represents. Women feel good and the men feel good because they feel like they got the bigger dick cause his wife's got the bigger rock. Humans have been wise and smRt for only a fraction of the years we have been living for and only by a fraction of the amount of people ever to live
Its not surprising they will say such stupid things as if she's got a big ring she's high maintenance.
That is assinine. My ex wife rarely wore her ring. I found out later it was because she was cheating. I had my ring off my finger exactly 10 days in 20 years, 4 months. One night because it fell off in the backyard at night into the snow. I had to wait til light to find it. and 9 days when I soaked it in bleach overnight to clean it. not realizing it would almost destroy it. they had to fix it. I see rings as a symbol of the commitment made to each other. I don't care about religion. I would never get married in a church again. But it is a symbol to those you interact with in public that you have committed to someone. why would it make the woman be high maintenance but not the man?
of course men like him don't like it when women wear rings~ it means they're with someone, meaning off the market, meaning he can't (or at least shouldn't) bang them.
if rings, etc. aren't allowed in your workplace for safety reasons, i can understand not being allowed to wear them while on the clock (assuming you already work there). otherwise, that ring is a symbol of my commitment to the man i love, and i'll wear it anywhere i damn well please, regardless of what it looks like.
I think men are just men and rings dont figure into it, its the women on the interview panel I would be mindful of especially if yours was nicer and more expensive.
if it's a woman who has a problem with the ring, she's jealous, insecure, and shallow; probably on divorce #13 and bitter because someone who's not her is happily taken.
"if i can't be happy, then no one else can either."
He's just trying to come up with ways for it to be acceptable for men to hit on women in the workplace by having women remove the one item that society has associated with a commitment.
How on earth does it mean she's high maintenance? It means she's committed to someone. It means she's not (or shouldn't be) in the market for a romantic partner because she already has one. It means that any potential male (such as the author of this article) doesn't stand a chance of bedding said female.
I have an engagement ring. I don't wear it at work. Not to be seen as not high maintenance but to not damage it. I swap it out for a simple band (a defective mood ring my cousin gave me when I was like 12) for work because my job requires me to be ready to go hands on with people and I don't want to damage my ring or give them anything to grab onto to break my finger.
I dont think it's true that men would think their high maintenance and likely wouldn't matter to them, from what my mom and sisters say about working in an office is that the men are mostly fair and concentrate on work while the women bitch and gossip about each othe and theirs a lot of jealously and two faced begrudery. So basically if a woman interviewing had an expensive engagement or wedding ring or was very pretty or had enormous boobs a woman on the interview panel might be biased against her employment with the company rather than judging based solely on qualifications, experience and ability. I don't think men notice engagement and wedding rings too much and why would he care as your taken.
Trying to wrap my head around how a symbol of marriage could translate to being high maintenance. You mean an engagement ring? I'd understand if it were a huge flashy rock on her finger, however I always took it as "Oh she's getting married! I should congratulate her." Not "Oh she's high maintenance, I should avoid her." If you're talking about the wedding band itself, then that's entirely stupid. If I want to let everyone know I'm married by having a ring on my finger, then I will do so, regardless of anyone else's opinion on the matter.
No, just brainwashed to blow money on carbon. You have the average person blowing around 6 grand on less than a carrot diamond to say they are getting married and the average industrial company paying 30 cents per carrot of diamonds to get work done... Let just say she's not all that smart...
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
As I expected, it was less about the ring, and more about a particular ring, or style of ring.
He described the original woman's ring as the 'hope diamond'. If you're not familiar with it, the hope diamond is a 45 kt diamond. Obviously she was not wearing one. But she had a -very large- engagement ring.
TBH, I have seen this. You have a woman who is applying for a job that lets say pays 40k or so, and she's wearing a ring that costs more than her after tax salary. Someone is looking after her pretty well financially. Could that impact how people view her? Yes.
A more contentious view is whether all women of a certain age do better without engagement rings. That i'm less convinced of. Realistically though, there is some concern from employers that recently married or too be married women of a certain age are perhaps about to pop out on maternity leave (which in my country is a year). That's... a concern.
I think it's a little ridiculous, but maybe if they were wearing one of those mammoth rock rings like this one, I would sorta understand where they're coming from... But I still wouldn't tell them not to wear it! s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...79bb8a12d1.jpg
I usually see women wearing a wedding band and not the engagement ring that usually sits inside it. It does look gaudy, and is kind of stupid to be flashing an expensive rock (does she want to get mugged), I actually see her as a gold digger... as a wedding ring is just a "form of payment" to get regular access to that ass (buying the cow).
just disagree. i don't make any assumption about a woman when i see a wedding or engagement ring aside from the fact that a woman has a partner
it's sort of unfair to even presume that an especially fancy wedding ring implies something about the woman since it could be that her partner just bought her a really nice ring
Wedding rings with diamonds unless they are custom made and are going to end up heirlooms within the family are really just waste of money. As Diamonds that dont come with significance just like everything depreciate. As well Diamonds are carbon based and like most carbon items they decay.
Regardless, my reasoning for not wanting a wedding ring (if I ever get married) is actually even more "high maintenance" than if I wanted a wedding ring.
I don't want a wedding ring because that entails spending money which could instead be used to buy me something more fun and interactive for my next birthday: a laptop I've been wanting, for instance.
He said 'hope diamond'. "he Hope Diamond is one of the most famous jewels in the world, with ownership records dating back almost four centuries" "Weight 45.52 carats (9.104 g)"
I'm assuming he meant weight more than 'world renowned/known'. So in this specific case he said don't wear that 'giant ass diamond ring', which could be a sign of something when compared to regular sized rings?
Personally, the ring on the picture, I don't see it as a wedding ring, but an engagement ring.
The man is an idiot, as he is judging the lady, before knowing her. Why would a ring tell someone that the woman is "high maintenance"? Of course, it is a very big ring, and I wouldn't want to wear a ring like this. However, it doesn't make sense. If it is an engagement ring, the man chose the ring for the woman! He chose it on his own, so the opinion of the lady didn't even matter.
Know what I think it means? That she's MARRIED AND IS PROUD OF IT!
I would ONLY take the ring off if it was getting in my way, at which point I'd get something small I could wear in place of it that's out of the way but still symbolises my commitment and I'd wear my actual ring the rest of the time.
What an imbecile! Sounds like an idiot who doesn't like that fact that some women he maybe sexually attracted to are already married! That guy needs to grow up. If a woman can't handle seeing another woman's ring, then she needs to just keep it to herself. These are immature people were talking about here!
Pretty sure this only applies to really massive rings that look very expensive, which would actually be a good indicator of how "high maintenance" a woman is. A down-to-earth woman wouldn't make her husband feel like he had to spend half a years wages on a shiny rock.
But more unfairly, a ring may make the interviewer assume the woman is likely to have children which companies certainly discriminate against
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
High maintenance? What if both the guy and girl are hard working individuals and believe they can splurge on a piece of jewelry that is symbolically important. That blog poster is full of sh**. Its like saying if a man shows up to the job interview in a luxury car. Are they going to assume he's high maintenance or that he has worked hard to buy that car?
Guys is a moron. Probably also hateful towards christian marriages considering his heritage. Wouldn't be the first time.
A ring is a symbol of commitment. Now, if the wedding ring is like some uber pompous and oversized version - then you might can speculate it implies high maintenance. Other than that it's just bullocks.
Not sure who'd think shed be high maintenance, what comes to mind when I see a woman wearing a wedding ring is the vows she took before God on the day of her wedding and I think I hope her marriage is going very well and wonder how long she's been married and if she has any interesting tales about her husband lol same if I see a guy with a wedding ring
What he's saying is right, but for the wrong reasons. Women are supposed to dress somewhat provocatively for interviews as to imply availability, wearing a ring disrupts this method which by the way is the most effective method when interviewing with a man.
Don't like it? Don't work and let one of those "loser" men you're keeping out of work get a job.
Not necessarily. A wedding ring means you got married. That's it. Granted, wearing a very high bling wedding ring could POSSIBLY mean high maintenance. But that's not necessarily true, either. A wedding ring doesn't equal high maintenance. It equals marriage.
It basically translates into "Don't wear a wedding ring because if the interviewer is a male and thinks you're hot, but then sees your wedding ring he won't hire you because it means you're off limits". Ridiculous.
All too often interviewers try to read too much into another people. I mean it is kind of their job but at the same time there is no real method behind the madness so they act just as much on superstition and gut feeling as on facts.
I think it's more likely that the interviewer notices the wedding ring and assumes since she's married, the woman is going to get pregnant and take maternity leave.
What kind of ring we talking here? Yeah, some weeding rings are just ridiculous. If a guy wore a massive diamond encrusted wedding band to work i'd think the same thing.
Seriously? -_- that guy is stupid honestly. A marriage ring is supposed to show people that you are taken (married) nothing more or less. And that's how everyone should see it as!
No, he's a complete and utter idiot and is trying to make connections where none lie. Even if someone thinks like that, it's because they're also an idiot, not because it rings true.
I told my ex That I don't want an engagement ring at all and he liked that. I'm not a high main... To me a piece of paper commitment with the right guy matter more than a fancy wedding and ring.
Thats some extra bullshit. I would gladly wear a wedding ring on my finger if I was married and had an interview, I don't care. If they think I'm high maintenance for that, I will show them my other finger.
I dont think it means anything besides her being married But ill be blunt If we have to listen to bull shit like women not wanting to wear shirts in public Then your going to hear equally dumb shit like this coming from guys
i mean it would depend on the ring. if it´s just a plain gold ring, i think it´s fune to just show that you´re taken xD but if it´s an overly fancy one it is bad.
That's totally bullshit... I don't agree with that... my mom wears a diamond ring and diamond ear rings... But she is not a high maintenance women at all...
What you are saying might be true if you are wearing a big Rock... But for decent sized rings it shouldn't be a problem... Anyways even guys don't wear expensive watches to the interview.. Lol
No not at all and I think that thought is quite silly, It means she is faithfully committed to someone special.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I have no idea what any of the women's wedding rings look like in my office though I'm sure they wear them daily. Sounds like "advice" just given to take potshots at women.
@3336PS because it isn't useful. lol thats from the outside looking in though. I would want that 5k to go towards something else. But why would you want a ring that expensive?
isn't useful? you are so cute... it isn't useful, but it is a beautiful ring... you are pratical like me lol He wanted the perfect ring for me. I grew up in a modest family. weddings and engagment rings were never part of the history. both older siblings eloped, vacation, cityhall that was that. my boyfriend then had to get me the perfect ring. i was fine with 1 carat. he thought it was too small for my finger (i have a small hand, 5 ft. 105 pounds) so he got one almost 2 carats and its huge on my finger. my friends couldn't stand it because it shines so much with those lights when we go out to restaurants. so the ring is about $15k we were not rich, but we both have good jobs and money was not an issue. but i dont think i am high maintenance.
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