What do guys feel after a first date?

Question

Say you went on a date with a girl you met randomly and were very interested in. You got along really well, dinner was great, had a few drinks, danced all night, and spent the night together making out and some fooling around, but no sex. You tell each other you really like each other before going to sleep. The next day you say goodbye, tell each other you had an awesome time, hug and you give her a kiss on the cheek. Later that day, she texts asking how your day is going. You tell her you are feeling very tired and still recovering from the night before. She jokes and says she can't believe she had that effect on you. You say it was the alcohol, not her who drained you. You text a bit more back and forth until she says she hopes you feel better. You say nothing in return. Later, she adds you as a friend on facebook, but you have yet to accept the request.

How are you feeling? What are you thinking? In short, how do I know if he really had a good time? When is it too soon to contact and see if he wants to hang out again?

vmw2008 · Accepted Answer

I would say it went too fast. I'm completely guilty of hanging out with a guy on a first date and if I'm interested, not wanting it to end. So we'll stay the night together. Not have sex, but fool around like what happened on your date. I'll think everything went well, and then wonder why he's acting shady. This took me a while to realize but the truth is, while it does happen that relationships come out of that kind of experience from time to time, most guys don't want a girlfriend that would stay the night with a guy on a first date. It makes her seem like less of a prize.

It sucks I know. Because most of the time I don't move that fast. It just happened to be that one guy that swept me off my feet. But the fact is, he doesn't know that. He assumes if you'll do it with him you'll do it with anyone. So I would take Easyec's advice and tell him you think it moved a little too fast and you'd like to slow it down. It may or may not be too late but it doesn't hurt to try. Best of luck!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I agree with easyec here. It sounds you went a little fast. I know he probably had the time of his life with you but! there is that knowing that you both made such physical contact so soon. Definitely wait like a week and then see if he wants to hang out. Again you need to let him know that wow you had an amazing time last time but you think it was a little fast and that you should slow down Trust me he won't run just because you said that. Most guys Don't like to go far on the first date even though they say yes to stuff(I mean come on what guy won't pass up any kind of physicalness haha)

ilikehim93 · Accepted Answer

you're just overreacting. not all guys can be that fast. just give it time, don't rush anything. give it 4 days-a week if nothing happens, then fine, worry away. although...that's not really healthy to do. =p

EasyEC · Accepted Answer

Right afterwards, I would still be in a heightened emotional state. However, my rational mind would eventually dominate and I would analyze the night's events after a day or two. I would think it went too fast. There was infatuation involved, promoted by emotions (which easily trumped rationale in the present). I would expect that she'd want to have just as much or more physical contact on the next outting. I would also wonder if she did this to all the guys she met and if she did how easy it would be for her to, oops, accidentally cheat in the middle of a committed relationship.

Some of those feelings could be corrected, but constant and repeated contact by her would only make it more difficult. Wait a week and then ask him out. Mention that think it may have escalated a little too fast and you want to slow it down if it's ok with him. Invite him to a daytime activity where there is no opportunity for making out.

chettah-two · Accepted Answer

Easy hit the nail on the head...

Thats exactly what I'll be thinking, I would think what did I do that was special, then come to a conclusion nothing, then think why did she stay with me all night... I wonder how many times she does that. In the second date I'll definitely have sex with her... (probably tru in this case..) then after that I'll think FWB!...sorry but being honest..

Another thing is I'll start taking you for granted...

But what Easyec said is true; that you should slow it down, maybe don't text him in the next few days until you have calm down...

jbone79 · Answer

I'm a relief person. I'm glad that's over. I hate first dates. It's sooooo annoying and stereotypical and it's just irritating sometimes. Now date #2, that's where I have fun. That's my favorite, because you both got rid of the stupid butterflies and all that expectation and this is where you can really figure out if your going to date any further with the person. For me, date #1. is a feeling of waste because we were both entranced in bullshit like what's your this or that and there's a lot of blah blah blah. I like being able to share a new experience with someone, not just spit out personal fun facts about myself like I'm at a job interview while eating at olive garden.  Date#2. That's when its fun for me to be out with someone.

Ryhuzaci · Answer

Well, he obviously liked you. And he still might but if I was him I would have exepted the face book friend thing right away. I mean, it sounded like he just had a fantastic time with a terific girl...Who wouldn't go out again. Or who wouldn't be interested for that matter. I would say maybe the next day to 2 days to call hima nd see if he wants to go out again...I mean, if I was him, I'd go out with you again.

Hope that helped.

Avalace · Answer

I would be tired but wouldn't need a day to recover after a few drinks while on a date. If you had a good time, he probably did too. If he doesn't contact you in a couple days, give him a call and ask if he wants to hang out.

gynaecologist4 · Answer

Hi,

I think the guy lied... It was actually your effect on him. The guy seems eager to meet you and waiting for you to contact because he is not sure whether you had a nice time or no...

Yes but the texts asking how was his day says ...Yes you care for him & want to be with him but it is really not clear whether you liked him or no...

I think he had a nice time & will surely want to be with you again...Bye TC

Ryhuzaci · Answer

Awesome.

What do guys feel after a first date?

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What do guys feel after a first date?

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