How do you feel about having sex on the first date?

Question

I’ve heard that having sex on a first date only means that he/she only wants to have sex and that’s it, but I’ve seen couples that they started that way, and now they have stable relationships and seems to be happy.
So I want to know the opinion of man and women about it.

I personally don’t think it’s wrong, if it was consensual and both parts talked about it since the beginning. But I’ve seen a lot of comments saying that you should wait certain amount of dates or if you do it he/she will get bored of you, or that you’re just somebody to satisfice his/her needs.

Of course there must be a lot or factors too.

So, in groso modo, what do you think?

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

I think most girls are raised and believe in not doing that on the first date

But there are moments when two people get together and that energy and chemical balance within each other come together

And when both people can feel this
You can feel it together and you can see it as you look in deep into each other's eyes

And then there's that moment where it's either yes or no

And you can read that moment you can see it on their face as they're thinking about it

And it's not who they usually are but in that moment they let it go and they become that moment with you

I love that moment because that tells me who she really is and that she has a mind of her own she has her own set of morals values and ethics

And she could feel that energy and she wants that energy and everything starts out in slow motion and just become slower and slower and deeper and that energy that bond that becoming one with each other is a very very beautiful moment and in that moment I have more respect for her and trust in her

Because she just opened up and told me so much about her self

So if this is the first date I would have to say that I'm going to want to date her for a long long time

And the girl that you date on the first day if you start making out and she says no we should stop here and you say okay

And it's just because she believes in her morals values and ethics

It doesn't mean that I wouldn't date her again because I do respect that

For me it just means there's kind of an unspoken roadblock and things that she does which is okay

But you would find out exactly what they would be the more you that you dated and went out with each other

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

I have dated four women with whom I had sex on the first date.

1976 Sally and I dated briefly but she moved on to someone else and I wasn't interested in sharing a partner.

1978 Ruby was a neighbor, an older woman who was available and desperate for sex. I didn't just want sex but she eventually assumed that my interest was just in sex, and convinced herself that she should break up with me.

1979 Anita and I were co-workers and all we had was lust. I met someone else and broke up with Anita after 5 or 6 dates.

1985 Gwen was the girl who cut my hair. She wasn't dating anyone and was going to be alone on Valentine's Day, so I took her out to dinner and we ended uo in her bed. She thought I was too good for her and broke up after a few months.

The most important fact about these examples is the last time it happened was 40 years ago. I have had more opportunities over the years, as recently as 2020 (only months before I met the lady who is now my wife.) I haven't done this in many years because my experiences have made me older and wiser. If a woman has the potential to be a long term partner, I want our first time to be love, not just sex.

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

Since the question asks how I would feel personally...

Sex on a first date is a no go, for me. The second date with the man I married I definitely could have seen it happening if we didn't have boundaries, though. :) Other people can do what they want, but for me personally, not going to happen.

ShellyB · Accepted Answer

100% no for dating, the question says “first date,” but if two people want to hook up, that is their choice.

For DATING, def. not, and not on the second date either, third date is where it starts to become a question but even then, that would be kind of fast. JMO!

MrOracle · Answer

Most (but not all) men would take first date sex if it was offered, but most (not all) men would also immediately and permanently lower your status from "potential relationship partner" to "for recreational use only" - assuming he put you in the "potential relationship" category in the first place. Thus, if there is ANY chance that you might ever want a relationship with that man, having sex with him on the first date is working against your own best interests - you are disqualifying yourself from that possibility with your own actions.

Of course, men who aren't looking for a relationship in the first place - which will include virtually all men that most women consider to be the most desirable - won't be bothered by sex on the first date, because a relationship was never a possibility in the first place. Largely, the men who are turned off by that are the men who take relationships seriously.

I'm not telling anyone what to do, but if you choose to disqualify yourself from relationship consideration, don't complain later when you decide you really want one. You can't have it both ways.

AviatorTom · Answer

I have had sex on the first date, though it's not common. It wasn't a one-night-stand, we actually dated for at least a few months until we broke up.

If the chemistry is right, why not have sex on the first date? Of course, there's also nothing wrong with waiting.

Finchie40 · Answer

Doesn’t matter to me , all that matters is her and I have great chemistry and connection together and we are both highly attracted to each other. So there is no time limit to have sex with someone that you hit it off with completely

katiesmuff · Answer

If your totally up for it and not talked into it there should be no issue! I had sex several times on less than a date (just being at the same place) and it never became an issue, but best of all I'm on vacation outside the US and get asked out a date where we ended up having sex. Strange as it might be he is now my proud husband and father to my daughter and the three boys we made together. It has been a great life from something I figured was just a vacation fling at the time. So who knows what will happen.

ClassicDropout · Answer

If you want to, go ahead. I don't believe in holding moral standards from 50 years ago. I'm not trying to impress anyone's parents. I'm not trying to impress anyone at all tbh. If I trust her and she's down to take all protective measures involved, I don't see why I would deny myself or her the opportunity if we both wanted it. But I'm capable of having sex with someone and thinking nothing of it. If you think that having sex with someone too early wil ruin your attraction to that person for some reason, don't do it.

RingOfFire · Answer

Whether or not it is right or wrong it's a different question from whether or not it means that it's only about sex and nothing else is going to happen beyond that.

In my own experience, having sex on the first date does not necessarily mean that it won't lead to a long-term relationship.

All romantic relationships are gamble. You never know what's going to work out in the early stages. I don't think having sex determines it one way or another.

Although I think it's true that if one or both don't like something about the sexual encounter that it probably won't work out. But that's going to happen sooner or later anyway.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

I did this once. The thing of it was we spent about 8 hours just talking first. The connection was real and I felt like I was talking to someone I had known my entire life. It's hard to explain but it didn't feel like I was sleeping with a stranger. Rather it just felt right, like we had been together in a past life or something. We ended up dating for two years and that electric connection was always there. I think we were attracted to each other's brains as much as we were to each other physically.

Valdemort · Answer

Been there. Done that. Glad I did it too.
There's a whole story behind it on my part, but it comes down to having asked the guy if he was open for it and he was. He was a great guy, and I wouldn't have changed it for the world. We stayed friends for a bit, though trouble came when feelings developed, but no regrets. I doubt I would do it again on a first date, but I knew he was exactly what I needed and hoped for at the time, so I'm glad I did.

Anonymous · Answer

How a man answers this question is a direct reflection of whether or not he is a quality man. I would never have sex on a first date, and I would never take a woman serious if she would. It speaks volumes about who she is as a person and what her values and priorities are.

A quality woman will not have sex with a man until she has established a bond and a sense of trust, and has a high level of confidence he would make a good husband and father in the even she gets pregnant.

Women who don't take that seriously, and the low quality men they breed with, are the reason the rate of out-of-wedlock births has skyrocket from 8% to almost 50% in the last few decades.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Nah the guy doesn't know you enough within the time frame of a first date..
Like if you two known each other for a long time and decide to do it on a first date that kind of seems okay but I just wouldn't want to risk the guy not actually being into me and give it up to him so I like to wait a bit.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

It's not for me.

But I don't look down on two people who does it.
I don't believe there is a "should" when it comes to what to do and what not to do when it comes to dating.

(that is, except for treating others with respect and decency and to have mutual consent when it comes to intimate actions.)

Darklydarkened · Answer

This debate still exists because of too many feudal minded bigots still are around

Is sex on first date worth even talking about? Not really.

There are women who just go hell bent on promiscious relationships, and some people still can't deal with that

WhitneySnow · Answer

I don’t do it but I don’t think it’s morally wrong. It is definitely the wrong way to get a guy though. For every couple that starts that way and ends up happily there are ten more where the guy ghosts her or makes her an friends with benefits.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I, personally, have yet to see or experience anyone have sex on a first date with someone they went on to take seriously. If a woman wants to have sex with me on the first date, my experience is that she's about ready to cut things off.

I'm sure there are couples out there that it happens with, but my guess is that it's more of an exception a norm.

GlowUpGirly5 · Answer

So you're just out here spreading your legs like a prostitute yet will be the first one asking for abortions. Get some therapy and hit the gym so you can lose weight for your low self esteem and find your father so he can teach you some self respect. Sounds like you're lacking in a father figure

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on the girl. If the girl is the type to fuck on the first date, I might as well do it too. Not like I want to be the one that waited, while all the other dudes didn't have to try to smash. That's just a female manipulation technique. Especially when they're still smashing their ex boyfriend or friends with benefits.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

Honestly the only way I can see myself wanting (desire and the want to do the actions at separate) sex on the first date is if I find the girl really pretty and not looking long term

Overall I still likely wouldn't do it anymore, if I'm dating seriously I wouldn't push for sex until much later.

It's neither wrong or right I guess, it's subjective.

Nikki1989 · Answer

I have sex with it feels right, it could be a few dates, it could be a few minutes.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

I don't date strangers... so it's possible :D

chrissykerdock · Answer

depends if i'm in a micro mini dress or not if i am i'll give a blowjob if he gets hard for me why not

CindyRuns · Answer

Absolutely off limits for me. The earliest in a relationship that I ever had sex with a guy was after around 3 months.

EzraIsShy76028 · Answer

Not for me, though I see nothing wrong with it for other people. Sex is not a huge priority for me personally, though I realize I may be in a very small minority.

EmmaMary · Answer

Certainly not something I ever entertained during my dating days... Except for my husband (three weeks!) it was always at least two/three months.

Ferngully2000 · Answer

If he was hot enough then yes, although I’d be a bit concerned if that happened, that he’d get bored, whereas waiting suggests you’re worth waiting for and in for the long term.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I'll be honest. If sex doesn't happen, there won't be a second date. I date for sex. If I don't get what I want, I move on. Pretty simple right?

texascollegegirl · Answer

There is no reason to wait for a date to have sex if you just want sex with that person. Just fuck.

Bricealan · Answer

I see nothing wrong with it. I have done it many times on a first date and my partners didn’t seem to think much of it either. Sometimes it worked out sometimes it didn’t..

es20490446e · Answer

Why dating a stranger to start with? Why not dating someone you have known for a while? What is the hurry? If you knew them for a while, will there be a problem if having sex on the first date?

molonski2 · Answer

I honestly don't think it matters that much , and it can go either way , it's not always just the guy looking for a lay.

Pudsmucker · Answer

No I do not think having sex on the first date is that smart of an idea. A person should be able to have and  Know who they are dating. Before they get into any kind of intimate relationship.

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

Nope never. Not until I'm good and ready. Plus contraceptives aren't 100% effective. Plus I have no respect for sluts and whores. Only fans is just legal prostitution. Never date an only fans girl.

On_cloud_wine · Answer

I would put that person min a certain category.. I wouldn’t want to settle down with them

Anonymous · Answer

I found casual sex very unsatisfying. I prefer being in a committed relationship even if the guy has a small penis or ejaculated prematurely sometimes

Miristheiss · Answer

It is wrong.  You gotta be pretty messed up or whorish to go that far with a stranger. Sex is meaningless to you.

slatyb · Answer

Do what you feel. If a man would judge you for having sex with him, he's not a man you want for a partner.

red-lipstick-girl · Answer

I don't think it's right to do this on a first date. It sends a bad message and makes people think they're just meeting for sex.

jazzy34 · Answer

If a man tries to get me in bed on the first date, he’s automatically disqualified. Next!

nawtee_me · Answer

Being open to it if it feel right is the key. Going into it with your mind made up that it ain’t happening means not being open to the possibilities the date might bring. If it doesn’t feel right then don’t do it…..

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I feel the same about sex each timere-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

BCRanger10 · Answer

I'm against it. I believe in waiting until marriage.

exitseven · Answer

If I had the opportunity I would probably do it but truthfully I probably would rather wait a little while.

Brandi555 · Answer

I had a fling with a guy friend. We were just hanging out together and it just sort of happened. Not sure if that counts.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Two past girlfriends of mine, we had sex the first night we met. Incidentally both were my two best ex-girlfriends of the lot, too.

JessAlb · Answer

It depends on the motives of each. If it happens then good but if one is just doing it out of loneliness or as a means of making up for other insecurities, then it will be a fail.

Jimmerjammermama83 · Answer

I’m 41 and a widow. I’m definitely open to sex on the first date if it goes well

Nifrayu · Answer

I'm not comfortable with that. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I just wouldn't do it.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Before 21 I would have sex without ever having a date. Now, I will not even kiss on a first date.

OfDeath · Answer

If the chemistry is there it’s fine. That’s a myth about it only meaning someone just wants sex and nothing else etc.

red324 · Answer

I'd like to know the clues that people give off that they want that because obviously I've missed them.

soe11 · Answer

Unbelievable pleasure.  indispensable intimacy. Unspeakable fun.

DrPepper12 · Answer

First nite or first married nite. Who cares?

Staximus · Answer

I think people should know who they are fucking

Babygirl_S · Answer

No thanks. I like to get to know him more before any physical intimacy

Anonymous · Answer

If I’ve paid for her meal and took the time out of my busy schedule to meet her and spend time with her, it is her duty to have sex with me. I did my part. She needs to do hers.

SarahP080106 · Answer

I love First Date sex

msc545 · Answer

I've done this more than once and sometimes it's worked out and sometimes it hasn't.

SpaceGalaxy · Answer

All i know, based on experience, is i should not ask her for anal sex on first date,

Anonymous · Answer

I prefer not to have sex on the first date. I haven't had sex on first day before too.

HonestAnswersOnly33 · Answer

No. Unless you are just into Sex, it’s not great for a long term commitment

straightmax12 · Answer

If it happens, it happens. I don't see anything wrong with having sex on a first date.

How do you feel about having sex on the first date?

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How do you feel about having sex on the first date?

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