The "compliment" that got me slapped?

Question

My name is Kevin and I'm a 19 year old college student. I recently met a girl at a party. We talked for a good half hour and seemed to be hitting it off. She was very pretty, smart and nice. We even exchanged email addresses. I was so excited!

Then, things suddenly went downhill. I commented that she had a “really nice, hourglass figure”. I thought she would take it as a compliment but instead she became deeply offended. I went into damage control mode and tried to clarify my comments but I think I only made things worse when I used the term “healthy”. With a look of complete disgust, WHAP!, she slapped my face and departed.

As I was standing there alone rubbing my cheek, with my friends nearby laughing at me, I was wondering why she was so offended. She had a classic hourglass figure - quite busty, narrow waist, shapely hips/legs. I guess she had interpreted “hourglass” as meaning big/overweight/full figured. Why can't women embrace their curves?

Btw, I do have her email address. Do you think I should her an apology note or should I interpret the slap in the face as another way of saying she does not want to see me again?

creepbuster · Accepted Answer

Here is the "response" you said she sent. The internet is not that big a place. You have been busted! Creep!

Hi Kevin and thank you for the apology but I do think it is best that we not see each other again. It is very inappopriate and highly offensive to "size up" a woman the first time you meet her. It was a combination of what you said, how you said it, and how you looked at me that I found upsetting -- hence the slap in the face. I like to be appreciated for who I am, and not how well I can fill out a skirt. It was quite disappointing too, since we had a nice conversation up to that point.

With that said, you are a bit younger than me and maybe haven't learned all of the do's and don'ts when it comes to meeting a woman for the first time. At least you were gentleman enough to turn the other cheek and make a graceful exit from the gallery after getting slapped. Hopefully you can learn from this and have better luck in the future. Also, I do go to the gallery openings on a regular basis so I don't want you to feel awkward around me if you do enjoy coming to those events. It's all in the past as far as I'm concerned :-)

Ericka

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You are totally full of sh*t. You just sent a version of this story to my business. Something looked weird about your email so I googled your email address and it looks like you have been sending this story around for years. I wonder why. The version of this story that you sent me just this weekend was slightly different in that there is more detail in the story. After I ignored your strange email you sent me her "reply" the next day. The reply you said she sent was completely different from her "response" shown above. Both your letter and her "response" were obviously written by you.

I think you are a predator who is into bigger women. You try to get women to reply to your email looking for advice and then what? Do you stalk curvy women? You have posted this letter to at least 4 advice columns and you obviously troll around the internet looking for opportunities to email women about your little problem.

I think I should notify the police because you are obviously some sort of sick predator.

Do you have anything to say for yourself?

bitesizedonut · Accepted Answer

I personally wouldn't pursue some one who would physically abuse me for complimenting them. That's just kind of whacko. Even if I had insulted them verbally, I wouldn't expect a slap in the face. Regardless of how smooth things went or how nice she seemed or the fact that you have her email - she really doesn't sound like the kind of lady a gentleman would pursue. I have never slapped any one in the face, and I have received some pretty hurtful words from men and women alike. Getting physical is really never very necessary for a lady except in self defense in my opinion.

westen · Accepted Answer

I think the slap in the face says it all, I'd totally let it go if I were you, then again if I were you I wouldn't have commented on her figure before the first date.

That alone can be quite off putting to some girls, compliment their smile, eyes, face, hair, clothes style etc, but not their figure. It makes them think you are coming on too hard.

Consider it a valuable learning experience and move on.

stevo · Accepted Answer

If I were you, I wouldn't meet her for coffee or anything. That's a load of bull. 'Would fully understand if you had no interest'. Duh, what did she actually think you would after she did what she did to you in front of people? She sounds like a really great gal-NOT!

femme1 · Answer

I think she's lying. It sounds like she's just covering up the fact that she got mad at you really because of what you said. When she said she'd like to meet you for coffee and the last sentence, means she likes you and wants to go out with you, she's just really embarrassed about the whole thing. If she did have a guy, then why would she even meet you for coffee? btw, coffee is the drink choice for a date...Anyways, so she's just humiliated and I'm not even sure you should continue to pursue her. She's obviously crazy and I don't know... If you really like her, then ask her to hang out, but I wouldn't.

femme1 · Answer

Wow. That is really funny and I'm sorry for laughing at you. It's just hilarious. She was offended right when you said hourglass and even if you began damage control, the damage was done. Period. Slapping you was out of line definitely, but then again, you don't know her past. Maybe she's had trouble with guys about that and it's obviously a touchy subject with her. Regardless, slapping you was a bad move. However, if you two were hitting it off and you really liked her, email her. There is nothing wrong with that. I think she would want to see you again. Just try it. There is nothing wrong with an apology and just be the guy who she was having a great time with and tell her she's everything a guy could want. Tell her she's beautiful and yeah. you should watch the movie Hitch with Will Smith. it'll help you, but I think I helped you too lol good luck and keep me posted:)

Archiegirl · Answer

Wow - I feel so sorry for you. I think if she saw this question she would understand how genuine you were. You sound like a really good bloke and I wouldn't take it personally. You don't know what has gone before - perhaps someone has been very rude to her and you hit a really raw nerve. If you email her you may receive an electronic slap in the face but why not give it a go - if you liked her you have nothing to loose. Tell it as it is - your first paragraph would be enough to win me over.

You may have offended her just by talking to her about her body - bodies are really personal to women - most women want men to be interested in them as people if you start talking about the body it can feel a bit too up front. Good luck!

Anonymous · Answer

Are you high? No girl slaps another guy over a "compliment" because she's dating someone and has mixed feelings. Go for coffee, but I'd advise having a bulletproof vest and an automatic weapon with extra ammo. God forbid she burns herself with that coffee she ordered while with you and the boyfriend is at home... I smell World War 3 brewing...

Eugene · Answer

You can try to explain her what you wanted to say, but getting closer with her I would consider as a bad idea: if she reacts so bad on simple things, imagine how she can react on something serious!

Anonymous · Answer

If your name were like..John, that wouldn't have happened. I know a Kevin, and he gets slapped a lot too.

krazygg · Answer

yea you should and explain to her that men love that figure and tell her ur sorry and did not mean to offend her and beg for her forgiveness

The "compliment" that got me slapped?

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