Okay, I know, this sounds terrible from the start. I've been best friends with this guy for almost 2 years. He came out to me about 5 months into our friendship. I've had a crush on him since the first time I laid eyes on him but I've repressed my feelings pretty well so far. I don't make it (too) obvious that I like him because I want to support him in his sexuality, focus on our friendship, etc.
However, I feel like he's starting to like me. Whenever we hang out, he flirts with me and when we go out to the movies he always pays for my ticket and food even though I offer to pay for my own. He'll be really playful with me like nudging me and grabbing me and tickling me. For Christmas he bought me something really expensive and nice and it was really thoughtful. His family owns a motel and during vacations he'll spend it there and we've spent a few nights together curled up together on one of the beds holding hands, cuddling, and talking.
Whenever I spend time at his house, we (almost) always hang out in his room and sometimes when we're laying on his bed together he holds my hands and plays with my hands and fingertips. When we go to dances/clubs, he grinds with me and lets me dance on him and flirt and get close, but every other girl who has tried this (even if it's casual), he'll kinda push them away. Most people think we're dating and most people thinks he likes me. I have friends who are secretly rooting for us to fall in love haha.
We've discussed having kids together and everything. I just don't know what to do. This closeness in our relationship has really only evolved over the past 3 months or so, but there's still the situation where he's a gay guy and I'm female. He's gone from long-haired and really emo/girly to more masculine. He's cut his hair and wears preppy clothes. He doesn't spend hardly any time prepping or getting himself ready to go out and just by looks, he looks straight.
This is like 8732984 questions evolved into one. Does anyone have advice as to how to handle this? Is there a possibility that he could like me in return? I'm so in love with him yet I don't know how to handle it all. I know it seems so ironic that, of course, I have fallen in love with my best guy friend. Thanks so much.
Update: He's the one who usually initiates all of the flirtation. Btw, I see him first and foremost as my best friend- next, as a love interest. I'm trying to get over him because it seems like this happens too often to so many girls. I'm being optimistic ;)
2 months ago
You might be confusing your own crush for his. So the alleged flirting might just be you being optimistic, telling yourself that you still have a chance. I am in now way trying to flatter myself, and nor should you. However cliche it may seem, and I speak from experience, gay guys are entitled to have flirtatious relationships with female friends in their lives. Seeing my guy friends grind up their BFFs booty doesn't put the thought in my mind that they might be straight but secretly saying their gay to get closer to the girl. If straight men know better they'll avoid doing this, as they'll see it's not all snaps and designer clothing.
Maybe you can just sit down with him and ask him for some clarity, He might hurt ur feelings, but it'll all be for the better when you look back on it. The friendship you two have should most definitely override any emotional attachment you might have developed for him.
Just try and accept that he is amazing guy and that he is YOUR friend, and should you really expect anything more? I think not.
Sorry if I come off a little rude, not my intention.
Best of luck girly, and remember that you guys will always be friends.
It's possible he's not even gay. Most peoples sexuality is not 100% gay or 100% heterosexual. Most of us are in between somehow. And there are some people who have obsessive compulsive disorder for homosexuality (constantly being afraid and anxious of being gay, but NOT actually being gay)
He did tell me he's gay but he said he doesn't want to be. - 2 months ago
Answerer
Ok then! that makes it different. It is absolutely possible that he isn't gay. How old is he? - 2 months ago
Question Asker
He's 16. A couple friends I talked to think it's kinda normal to experiment with sexuality around that age and it may be a phase he's going through. That's what I'm hoping ;P - 2 months ago
Answerer
Its very common for people that age to be unsure about stuff on that subject. Heck, I'm 19 and I'm still confused about it. I don't know why, I know I'm mostly heterosexual...
Only time will tell, but it really sounds like he likes you. - 2 months ago
Question Asker
Same here. I'm confused yet I know I'm almost entirely straight. Ah well :) thanks for your help! - 2 months ago
he told you that he's gay but he doesn't want to be one, right? in my opinion, maybe he's now trying to be straight. So he starts to 'act' more masculine. I have a relative, after five years of marriage, she found out that her husband is gay from the first time they met. There are times when gay people try to resist their orientation of sex. Maybe he thinks that life would be easier if he's straight.
And, why does he flirt only with you, and not with another girls? I think it's because both of you are so close, and he feels comfortable with you, and not with that other girls.
Since both of you are so close, I think it'll be okay if you ask him.When both of you in a situation like, you are cuddling or anything, ask him casually, "hey.know what? lately, I hardly can't believe that you are gay, 'coz you really don't look or act like one!"
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I moved and the first day of school saw this really cute guy. I crushed over him and later found out that he was gay. This semester, though, my...
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
My first ideal date would be going to the movies or out to a casual restaurant. I would wear jeans with a pair of flip flops and a regular Hollister or AEO t-shirt. The date ends with a mid-long hug or just maybe a light kiss.
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
I would let my date know my interests and goals in life. and pretty much random things just to lessen the tension.
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 2 months ago
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