My ex-gf broke my heart! Was she trying to apologize? Should I give her the time of day?

[Anonymous]

My ex-girlfriend absolutely broke my heart, right before I was going to propose. She pulled the rug right out from underneath me, and then started dating an acquaintance of mine less than two months later. This was just one of many things she did after we broke up that hurt me. I recently sat down with her, and she attempted to tell me that she didn't mean to hurt me by dating someone so soon. Somehow, I don't really believe her. I think she's just trying to clear her conscience so she can move on. I'm afraid I let her off the hook. I told her it didn't matter anymore, but definitely showed that I was kind of upset. There's so much I want to say to her. I want to tell her exactly how she hurt me, and why it hurt so bad. I don't think she has any idea the extent of my pain.

Should I attempt to tell her specifically what she did that hurt so bad?

Is she just trying to clear her conscience?

What's the best way to make a girl think twice about dumping you? How could I drive her crazy? Is being cold and unaffected really the best way to handle this?

I guess I'm just afraid that I should have taken the opportunity to have a discussion with her when she tried to apologize. Instead, I let it pass. I'm kind of sad that I didn't talk to her about it.

What do you wonderful folks think?

[BD01JK]

1. No... don't tell her the "specifics". You need the outlet... but I would suggest finding a friend to vent too instead. She's not "with" you anymore... and this will do nothing more than open the gates for you to say something you might regret and can't take back.

2. She's trying to possibly "clear her conscience"... but more than that she's probably just trying to maintain a friendship with you... and trying to not be a massive "jerk" (even if it doesn't feel like it) while you're struggling.

3. There's no real good answer to this that will be helpful. You want revenge for her breaking your heart and want her to feel pain. If you really love her, and if you actually want them to be with you... why would it make sense to hurt them intentionally? I suggest you let it go. You'd be surprised by how well "moving on" and "being happy" will make someone else think twice about the fact that they no longer have you!

4. Not so much a question... but my advice for you. This sucks... and it's not going to happen quick, and it's not going to be easy... but... try to let it go. Distance yourself from her (don't worry too much about responding to texts, calling her back, etc) and try to avoid places where you and her might see one another. The more time passes without seeing her, the easier it will be. Get back in "the game" and start casually looking for someone else that actually DESERVES being with you. You'll find someone, even though it doesn't feel like it right now. Keep your chin up man... you got this! Good luck!

[jhpua954]

She's a nut. Don't waste your time with her. Watch the movie Eyes Wide Shut. She gets off on messing with you. Don't make it more complicated than it is.

[daynam28]

if she dated someone so quickly after you then there never was any real love for you there to begin with. when I dated someone I really loved, it took me months to get over that, even though I was the one to break it off. love doesn't just go away overnight, and it sounds to me like she was being a bit selfish. she may have been apologizing because you never know a good thing till its gone. and there's a saying, if you think the grass is greener on the other side, imagine the manure that went down to make it that way. being cold and unaffected will definitly blow up in your face though. she will reverse that rejection right back to you when she acts like she has moved on with her life and that she doesn't care. and then you will be chasing her feeling bad once again. if her hurting you is just simply something you cannot forgive, then move on, if you are willing to forgive, and forget, which means to never ever never bring it up or throw it in her face, then talk to her about it, lay everything on the line. sit down together, and write a list on paper what you have both done to hurt each other, then tear the list up into pieces, get out another piece of paper, and start a list on what you plan to do to each other to make each other happy. clean slate... hope I helped a lil

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry about this but you gotta move on. If she hurt you she's the one that has to apologize you don't have to hear the other person say how much it hurt she should know. If she doesn't want to admit she did wrong and apologize to you let it go because she won't be able to. I think that this girl was not thinking when she went out with the other guy she's stupid. And if she's trying to clear her conscience she is not trying hard enough. If you want to tell her how much she hurt you go ahead but you don't know how she will react either apologetically or don't give a f**. The best way to drive her crazy is by being nice to her trust me it will make her feel a lot worse. Don't make it seem like you want her back or maybe you can and then say I don't want a relationship right now or something to make her hurt. But if you want to try the being cold technique then just hang out with other girls maybe if you have a best friend that's a girl she can help her to make her jealous or sum. Anything you choose to do just remember to look your best when your around her so she can realize what she lost. Wish you the best. Hope whatever you do works for the best.

[ellelyza]

Maybe she was trying to clear her conscience, or maybe she's trying get a foot back in the door, but it really doesn't matter what she was trying to do because you have to do what's best for you. She hurt you and if she doesn't know that then she really didn't think about your feelings. I don't think she deserves for you to even speak to her. In fact, speaking with her will most likely only reopen wounds that are trying to heal. You don't need to try to make her see or drive her crazy or be cold or anything. You just need to realize that she made a mistake in letting a good thing go. Whether she realizes or not is her own business. I think its best to just move on and one day you will find someone who won't be so careless with your heart.

[gummybear888]

nah she doesn't deserve an explanation.

simple. you have two people, if one is running away whiel the other is chasing, it won't work. you need them to go together, want to be together.

from her actions, if it seems to you her explanation is insincere, doubt that she is the one for you.

i have been hurt before, the way I dealt with moving on was to keep myself busy and move on, I can be cold and unaffected but inside things tear me apart. that feeling is normal. take time to heal.