Why are Asian women (excluding Filipino) Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc usually against dating black men?

Have noticed this my entire life. Is it racism? Or an unspoken expectation within Asian families. Or is it more openly discussed?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • it's about image

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    • i don't think i backtracked, i said that i have never FOUND myself attracted to any races other than japanese. i am OPEN to anyone but haven't felt anything yet. i see european models everyday. i can recognize beauty.

    • Oh, you don't know beauty yet. Not until that experiment.

What Girls Said 17

  • So instead of bashing on your question. I'll answer with what I think. It's a combination of both combined with how society affects judgement. I've always seen Asian families really weary of breeding outside of the race in general. Even among st other kinds of Asian nationalities. FOR EXAMPLE. I am half Laotian and half Vietnamese. My dad is Vietnamese and my mom is Laotian. When I started my first year of college he gave me 'The Dating Talk'. Word for word he said: Find yourself a nice Vietnamese boy. Don't go dating those Laos guys. They're bad.
    I snitched on him to my mom.

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    • Interesting. Thx!

    • NP. I've felt the same way you do, to be honest. I dated a black guy once. I was too nervous about what my family and parents would think to enjoy it and be comfortable. So it didn't last (which isn't horrible considering he decided he liked my best friend more). I have a cousin on the other hand that can't stay away. She just finds them insanely attractive.

  • Maybe because they're not attracted to black men or they prefer do date/marry within their "race".

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    • An entire race of people has likened attraction... really?

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    • Right. When you say people are you speaking on an individual basis. I am trying to understand if you mean the Asian people as a whole feel that way. You did say YES.. Yes to what?

    • When I say people I mean individuals. And of course, I can't speak for all Asian women. But, I guess they have their own reasons for not wanting to date/marry black men.

  • I'm not sure... maybe because most of them have more lighter complexion and are attracted to similar complexion tone... or maybe its just they are not used to seeing around men having skin tones other than theirs...

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    • nobody lets white people get away with that excuse...

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    • I would agree that we are all unique with our preferences. Maybe a lot of it has to do with media and environmental factors. Because if each INDIVIDUAL is unique but the culture at large is doing that same thing... must be another influencing factor. Guess I am trying to figure out what that could be. I understand in Asian countries you are a lot less likely to see a black guy... But in the USA you'd think it be different. Especially with black influence in media (positive on negative.

    • yes I somewhat agree with that, influencing factors play a role... It still depends on the individual on how easy are they being influenced.., Here in Canada, I've seen a lot of multiculture/nationality/ethnicity or whatever you call that, that goes along well.. I mean, I've seen light tone chinese dating dark skin tone girl, and vice versa... (I don't want to use color like white and black, my apology) :)

  • they're not against it, it's just they're more comfortable with their own nationality where they can communicate with their partner instead of struggling with the language.
    you're from the US, so imagine a 24 or 25 year old Chinese woman going to the US. a place she knows nothing about and it's easier for her to find familiarity with another Chinese man..
    also, as a part Korean, Chinese and Japanese person, i can say that they really care about blood purity. Chinese, Korean, and Japanese people don't really like the idea of halfies i guess. my mum is like 1/4 Japanese and 1/4 Korean and 1/2 Chinese whilst my dad is 1/2 Korean and 1/4 Chinese, 1/4 Japanese (my maternal grandmother is 1/2 Japanese, 1/2 Korean whilst my maternal grandfather is Chinese) so people like us are shunned upon. we are mixed blooded as they would say.
    although those ideas are fading away, it was really serious years ago.
    i know that they're also against adoption and stuff because you don't share the same blood line and stuff...
    it's sort of complicated... but i think it's because they care about the purity i guess and also it's easier to relate to the person from your own nationality..

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    • I would be careful with the word purity...

      I would agree with what you said in respects to immigrants. Makes total sense because of the stress with moving some place new. Although, my question is for American Asian women who are 2nd/3rd generation.

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    • Purity implies perfection, non-tainted, whole, etc.. The LORD brought disease to those who were against mixed marriages. That should be enough for anyone to be very careful with their words/actions

    • yeah but that's what they want
      despite none of their blood being 100% whatever nationality, they seek it.

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    • Yes, I am positive... I did't say you can't find one picture online of an Asian women with a black man Lol... Rather let me put it this way. I will guarantee you in the next month you won't see a couple like that in REAL life.

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    • Well pictures are the proof that couple like this exists. I've seen it many times and I don't even live in the US

    • No existing is not where I am going here and I didn't want my question to get strawmanned at every turn...

      Let's keep this in the United States. And I find it hard to believe that you see it 'all the time; in a country with a dismal Asain population... But you see what you see right

  • Well Asian culture still revolves around what would affect as a whole, not as individuals. I don't think they would like to be ridiculed by their surrounding peers. Black skin isn't exactly seen as desirable first hand. And they can be nitnicky about their choices.

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  • That's not true. Three of my friends in hong kong are married black men and they love their hus :) i know old Korean and Japanese think black men are dangerous due to the media though =/ but younger generations are different

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  • i feel special sense you excluded filipinos cuz im filipino and black men are my preference and when i tell people i like black men sometimes they make a face i get mad and mean

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    • Yeah, In my experience Filipino women are very open to other races. Including black guys.

    • you know , i still remember this convo and we would make an awesome team on answering questions together i like how u can look from other peoples pov

  • Haha, why didyou exclude filapina's?

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    • Darken skinned Asians seem to date black men. Filipino women love black men. At least in my state.

    • Well, they love americans, period. Although the majority tend to lean towards white men, because they want their children to be lighter skined. I'm telling you, some of them filipina's are obsessed. Some even take pills to lighten their skin.

  • Its just their preference. Asians generally prefer to marry other Asians.

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    • Lolwut? Asians (women at least) prefer to date/marry whites.

    • Yep. So says my white buddy. His girlfriend told him that her parents preferred her to bring home a nice white guy. If not that Asian. Getting Asian chicks for him was like shooting fish in a barrel. It was a joke Lol

    • Damn @koko124. I had no clue it was THAT bad. I had a Korean friend in college that told me that Korean women generally prefer white guys. Going by statistics, 43% of married Korean women are married to white guys but I didn't think it was that terrible lol. All Asian women? I think that's just Korean, Japanese.

  • It's just preference.

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    • It's been proven preference is an individual thing... not an entire race thing Lol

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    • It's because women are attracted to men based on how "popular" they are with other women, power, and status.

      Generalize this to a racial scale, and you get white guys being more sexually desired than all other races of men (Making up the vast majority of positive media, the richest and most powerful nations in the world, etc).

      Women on the other hand, are only attractive by virtue of their actual physical qualities. Status doesn't do anything for a woman's sexual attractiveness. So it wouldn't be strange at all for a bisexual woman to be solely or mostly attracted to white men, but attracted to all races of women.

    • I don't agree with your assesment. Maybe that's true for some stereotypical women. Or maybe in those days when women were depended on a man, so they needed someone with a great job and salary to be able to support them and the future kids. But I have always made my own money and I refuse to even let someone take care of me.. so clearly I look for someone who can love me back as much as i do him/her and look for someone I'm physically attracted. So what my eyes see first is what decides if I give my seal of approval.
      No, when I think of it it has more to do with preference: male vs female body. A woman's body is just amazing!
      Status, money, power is not what attracts me to a man. Usually those men with great status, money and power are the ones I run away from. Their attitudes are a big turn of.. yuck. I have some experience with these men (just talking) and they are DEFINETLY not my thang. But the sugarbaby type of girls would have accepted all their offers.

  • Some of my girl friends and I date black men tho

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  • Well forget those certain asians. I like the ones who want to create more beautiful Blasian babies

    lookpurdy.files.wordpress.com/.../...event-003.jpg

    4.bp.blogspot.com/.../Tyson%2BBeckford%2Bwow.jpg

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    • Beckford is Asian?

    • Lol boyy yes. Black and Asian. I have a whole list for ya. But I just chose a quick two

  • Some guy said a similar thing the other day on here. I think this whole black guy divide is an American thing to be honest, most girls in England find black and mixed black guys attractive. I was seeing a black guy while I was in LA ( and I'm a type of Asian just not any you've mentioned) but I felt a bit intimidated by his girl mates because they made me feel I shouldn't be going out with a black guy. I never thought it was an American thing until I went on holiday there and ended up sort of dating a guy from the states

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  • I'm sure it's not all Asian women & it's certainly not racism. There are people of all races who would be willing to date outside of their own race. But those who don't are not racist, it's just a preference. No different then someone having a preference for skinny or curvy women.

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    • I would agree. But wouldn't you also agree that some races are more likely to date outside than others? Having said that, Asian women seem to do it the least.

    • I do see a lot black men date outside their race, & Latinos of both genders date outside their race also.

  • What? No... I'm a military brat and you ALWAYS see a Filipino or Korean woman looking for a military man to marry white or black they don't care as long as the guy is in the military lol

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    • Yeah... dark skinned Asians maybe. Not disputing that. Although, "traditional" looking Asians heck no

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    • Don't ask a question if you don't want honest opinions #justsayin

    • Seems that some are attempting to say that the foundation of my question is false. That; traditional Asian looking women actually don't discriminate against black men... I was operating under the obvious assumption that most know that's not true. I am positive my opinion is supported through independent research and even dating site research. But okay, you see what you see right... So thanks for the perspective.

What Guys Said 12

  • Out of all the answers given, I'm surprise nobody told the truth. Probably because it's harsh, and of course nobody wants to make others or themselves look bad. But I'll be honest about the reason why.

    -Dark skin is viewed as ugly and low status by Asians.

    -As COCOCHANEL said, it's about image. In the words of my Korean friend "Asian girls are very aware of their image and status." Which leads to...

    -Racial status. They "won't date down."

    -In the words of my Chinese friend "Asian girls who date Black tend to rebel their culture in general."

    -White colonialism led to respect admiration (Racial status).

    Addressing comments regarding "preference." "Individual race preference", and "race preference trends" are two different phenomena's. I don't want to sugar coat it, if you're looking to date Asian you have an uphill battle ahead of you.

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  • I think there is a bit of racism and stereotyping going on. Unfortunately, races, or any group of people in general, are judged by their portrayal in media. Stereotypes associated with Black men are usually not positive so that basically explains it. This shouldn't discourage you though. Unless they're EXTREMELY closed off mentally, you can make them overlook the stereotypes and have them judge you based on your individual qualities. As a Hispanic, there are mainly negative stereotypes that people are inclined to associate with me but as soon as they get to know me the negative stereotypes dissolved.

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    • Also, it's possible that some specific girls dislike dark complexions. This isn't racist, as long as its strictly an aesthetic preference for lighter complexion.

  • @theperfectdater It's pretty obvious that @Cocochanel is attracted to Asian men and this is her preference. What's the big deal?

    The reason why a lot of Asian women specifically don't date black men is because, as someone has already mentioned, white men are seen as the top dogs - due to media, film, history etc. So either they'll go with their own race (Asian) or they want the top dog (White men). Every other race is seen as inferior to those two. It's racist, yeah. But that's the world we live in, it's not fair.

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  • Generally speaking, A black man is not exactly the type of thing perceived by an average Asian girl as responsible, trust-worthy, presentable, romantically handy, etc... someone said this perception has to do with the image blacks themselves have portrayed to the world within the past 30 years. True, especially for Asian girls between 23 and 32 years and some older ones without 'non-asian experience'. Individually speaking, 'reaction to perception', manner of approach, mood of the girl, her level of exposure and past experiences can determine if an Asian woman discards her snobbish tendencies for an encounter with a black man.

    However, there are other sides to this coin:

    1. Asian girls have fantasies beyond being with a nice romantic cissy white/asian guy. Sometimes in their minds are ravished, man-handled, by male from a world apart, etc...

    I'm black and got at least 135 Asian girls (mostly Chinese, few Koreans, Khazaks, Mongolian, Malaysian, Sing, 1 ) in the past 7 years. As I recall, most of them either had a cold feet the first time they saw me, they almost never know how to react to my calm presence, something like that. I have the kind of look that captures and scares women at first, but mostly comes to their fantasies later, and they try to see me again. I don't know exactly why, just something natural about women I guess. Societal norms do not define their every tendency.

    2. I have experienced the positive sides of this 'black-hater' trend in Asian modern materialistic societies. As a black man, if 1 Asian girl likes/loves you for whatever reason. It's not for money/wealth, not for blue/green eyes, not for a foreign passport or a future in a 'better-off country', not for a mixed white baby, not to show off to her friends or colleagues, not to satisfy society; But love in its raw natural state without logical reasoning. This kind of love from an Asian girl is a wonderful thing as I have experienced. I doubt men from other races had the privilege.

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  • Because black men are terribly represented by the media. You're either an athlete, musician, entertainer; or; a criminal, drug dealer, drug addict, or gangster.

    And yes, most Asian families would prefer their children marry inside their race. It makes it easier for them to still connect with their grandchildren.

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  • There's nothing you can do about it man. Everyone is not going to want to date you. I'm currently dating a japanese woman, and Im her first black boyfriend. Don't sweat it so much. In my experiences, its mostly SOME asian- americans who dont date black guys. They can do whatever they want. Its their life.

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    • I am not trying to do a thing about it. Rather, as stated in my question, I am trying to discern why it is soooo unlikely to see a 'traditional' Asian women with a black man... I have a girlfriend that I am quite happy with Lol.

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    • Well that sucks. Hopefully things change for the better with their perception.

    • I also noticed this when I was in China. All of the younger people, mainly females, carried around umbrellas to keep the sunlight off of their skin.

  • It is not racism to want to mate only with your own kind.

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  • Because they don't like black guys.

    Why is it that every time I click this website, it's either a black guy complaining other races won't date him, or a black girl crying about how she wants white guys to date her?

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    • Umm because it's indicative of what is happening in society... Is it not a good question prick.

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    • The point is, with black men and women despising each other enough they're obsessed with dating other races, what does that tell everyone else? Grow up and try dating a black girl, stop being so racist and hateful of black women.

    • That's actually factually incorrect. Black women date overwhelmingly within their own race. Second only to Asians... And since my question is about MEN you have no point here at all dumbshit because black women LOVE their black men. Quit pawning yourself off as anything else but a prick. Also, do not assume you know who I am with, who I have been with, or who I desire. On this thread I have repeated over and over how I do not have a preference and my track record proves it. So, the point is you have no point and from the jump you were trolling.

  • you are totally wrong dude , a lot japanese female tourists here hunting for dark tanned men ( i life in bali-indonesia) ;p.

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  • it's you, not your race, sorry to bear the bad news

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  • I am Asian. My sister is currently dating a black American man.. Whatchu talkng about foo?

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  • Bruh in Asia they have this fucked up obsession with looking as white as possible. I'll say no more.

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