It is important in a relationship to allow the other half to have interests of his/her own.
My boyfriend is a football/sports freak. I, however, am not. Like, at all. I find ways to be with him AND allow him his sports. One way is to sit on the couch, cuddling and reading a book while he watches. He tries to teach me the game in return. We are together, that's what matters.
If he surfs, go with him. Watch and learn, play in the waves, read a book, relax on the beach. You will be respected for being part of this important aspect of his life.
I knew going in that I would be a football widow. I was willing to do that because I care about him; what's important to him is important to me. It would be senseless to act jealous over a "thing," and would damage what we have.
Accept his passion and learn to roll with it. Doesn't mean he prefers it, just that it is a very important thing to him. It should by default be important to you as well. It's not easy, but worth it when you make the attempt to accept it.
You can't be dependant of him. You should have other occupations. What would you be doing if you didn't have a boyfriend? Do that ! I am not saying you should never expect to spend time with your boyfriend, but don't depend on him to entertain you. Have a life of your own. That's what he is doing and it's healthy.
You need to say to him i know you like surfing but i would like to come along if for some reason he doesn't want take you ask him why. If he can't give you a logical answer than maybe you two aren't compatible for each other but still he has a right to do whatever he likes but he should still make you part of it too. I wouldn't push the issue just to go to sit on beach or just to go to read a book you should be his top priority along with his family if he can't make you part of things than you need to maybe think this one over with him.
He tried to involve you in his passion and uou rejected that. Typical chick says she wants an adventurous exciting man that does things like surfing or sports etc then tries to change him into a boring guy who stays in and watching greys anatomy. Then complains after she's made him cut his hair, change his fashion style, stop partying, settle down, give up on his dreams and hobbies that he is no longer the man she fell in live with and that they should take a break (in other words dumped).
You can't expect him to give up surfing, but you can ask him to spend some weekends with you. If he doesn't want to do that, then it's not a good match. He needs to date another surfer, and you need to date someone who wants to spend weekends with you.
I would say.. if you guys talk a lot during the week.. let him do what he wants on the weekends.. as long as he's being faithful... Don't become too needy, dependent, etc... This is what happened to me my last relationship.. My ex basically talked to me all week.. but used the weekend to talk to her family and friends since she didn't get to spend time with them during the week... and I started complaining and I truly believe this is why the relationship ended.
No. You see - that's an obsession. An obsession with work, with a hobby, with some sort of entertainment over his girlfriend or her boyfriend - it's not normal, but it happens. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you, just means he loves himself and the hobby more than you.
I think you could be a bit more supportive of this passion of his. Also it's a family thing and I wouldn't come between my boyfriend and his family. Maybe you should just relinquish this time to surfing or learn how to surf.
I think it's great that he has a hobby he enjoys away from the relationship where it leaves you time to find one and do things for yourself. He's doing nothing wrong by surfing especially with his family. Find your own hobby. That'll give you guys more to talk about anyway.
It's normal that he enjoys surfing, but he should be making just as much time for you as he should for his hobbies. You could also suggest that he could teach you how to surf? It's a fun activity and it'll bring you two closer. Compromise. Don't wait on shore for him for hours, it'll annoy the both of you. Find something that interests you and pursue it just as he is.
Its his passion, you can't take that away from him, what you can do is tell him how you feel, he can't read your mind so I think he needs to hear it and then you can find a way to spend some weekends together
If it's just the weekend don't trip he probably does like you but surfing is an escape, try putting time aside on the weekend to escape too. Go shopping, play sports, what ever you need to do and if gets worse talk to him. I hope this helped.
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