Is normal that my boyfriend prefers surfing than to be with me?

His lifes revolves around surfing. All his family is in that and he goes every weekend.
And I tried to go with him but I ended up alone for 6-7 hours so is not funny for me.

Am i being fool for think that?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It is important in a relationship to allow the other half to have interests of his/her own.

    My boyfriend is a football/sports freak. I, however, am not. Like, at all. I find ways to be with him AND allow him his sports. One way is to sit on the couch, cuddling and reading a book while he watches. He tries to teach me the game in return. We are together, that's what matters.

    If he surfs, go with him. Watch and learn, play in the waves, read a book, relax on the beach. You will be respected for being part of this important aspect of his life.

    I knew going in that I would be a football widow. I was willing to do that because I care about him; what's important to him is important to me. It would be senseless to act jealous over a "thing," and would damage what we have.

    Accept his passion and learn to roll with it. Doesn't mean he prefers it, just that it is a very important thing to him. It should by default be important to you as well. It's not easy, but worth it when you make the attempt to accept it.

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    • This is golden advice @asker listen to this chick because shr knows.

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    • Anytime. Trust me, the relationship will grow even stronger when you embrace his passion rather than viewing it as a rival.

      Now, if only I liked football. Lol.

    • @Asker
      You don't HAVE to learn to surf and be good at it. I don't think he expects it either. Just that you let him show it to you and like she said, go with him to the beach and read a book or learn something else that you can share with him afterwards.

What Guys Said 17

  • That's the price of admission to be with him. He is not going to stop for you, nor should you ask him to stop if it is his thing. Either you accept that or you find another dude.

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  • You can't be dependant of him. You should have other occupations. What would you be doing if you didn't have a boyfriend? Do that ! I am not saying you should never expect to spend time with your boyfriend, but don't depend on him to entertain you. Have a life of your own. That's what he is doing and it's healthy.

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  • You need to say to him i know you like surfing but i would like to come along if for some reason he doesn't want take you ask him why. If he can't give you a logical answer than maybe you two aren't compatible for each other but still he has a right to do whatever he likes but he should still make you part of it too. I wouldn't push the issue
    just to go to sit on beach or just to go to read a book you should be his top priority along with his family if he can't make you part of things than you need to maybe think this one over with him.

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  • He tried to involve you in his passion and uou rejected that. Typical chick says she wants an adventurous exciting man that does things like surfing or sports etc then tries to change him into a boring guy who stays in and watching greys anatomy. Then complains after she's made him cut his hair, change his fashion style, stop partying, settle down, give up on his dreams and hobbies that he is no longer the man she fell in live with and that they should take a break (in other words dumped).

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  • You can't expect him to give up surfing, but you can ask him to spend some weekends with you. If he doesn't want to do that, then it's not a good match. He needs to date another surfer, and you need to date someone who wants to spend weekends with you.

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  • Yes it's normal

    Seems like the right girl for him is the one that can find something to do for 6-7 hours, perhaps surfing too or whatever else

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  • I would say.. if you guys talk a lot during the week.. let him do what he wants on the weekends.. as long as he's being faithful... Don't become too needy, dependent, etc... This is what happened to me my last relationship.. My ex basically talked to me all week.. but used the weekend to talk to her family and friends since she didn't get to spend time with them during the week... and I started complaining and I truly believe this is why the relationship ended.

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  • It's his passion, find something you can do while he go's surfing but never make him feel guilty for doing what he loves.

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  • I heard that's the Hawaiian way of life. It'd be normal there I guess.

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  • I don't know whether it's normal or not, but it's clear that you shouldn't be with a man who chooses a hobby over you.

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    • If he and his whole family are into it why can't she learn to surf or at least body board? She should get involved or get a hobby of her own.

  • Probably you are not enough beautiful

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  • Lol. Women don't understand hobbies.

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    • No, actually we do. All she wants is to spend more time with her boyfriend, since he goes surfing every weekend instead of taking her out.

      In her dudes defense, though, surfing is a great sport, and extremely exhilarating. She could be more supportive of it, perhaps as him to teach her if she's into it.

  • Unless you are more interesting and fun than surfing..

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  • I prefer collecting bugs than to be with my girlfriend.

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  • surfing is > than hoes.

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  • You should complement his life, not be it. Vice versa. Go find something that you're passionate about

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  • Doesn't surprise me. I know a girl who's boyfriend broke up with her because he was more interested in playing with his X-box.

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    • Its not the same. She just said that he brought her along with his family but she refused to get involved.

What Girls Said 16

  • No.
    You see - that's an obsession. An obsession with work, with a hobby, with some sort of entertainment over his girlfriend or her boyfriend - it's not normal, but it happens.
    Doesn't mean he doesn't love you, just means he loves himself and the hobby more than you.

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    • He probably gets up at the crack of dawn to go go surfing at the weekend while she's sleeping. What should he do sit around all day watching tv or doing something healthy and enjoyable that she has the option of joining in. She should be less needy as its unattractive and get a life.

    • @jaydogs1990 As I understood it - she went with him and he ended up ignoring her and surfing for 7 hours. o. O
      I call that an obsession. And not a healthy relationship.

    • Then she needs to try harder.

  • It's his hobby. You should get one too so you're not lonely when he's doing his thing

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  • I think you could be a bit more supportive of this passion of his. Also it's a family thing and I wouldn't come between my boyfriend and his family. Maybe you should just relinquish this time to surfing or learn how to surf.

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  • Yes its normal. You are just the icing on his cake. Don't sweat.

    This is his lifestyle. Better he is into doing something than watching tv, get fat on the couch or masturbating to porn in his room daily.

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  • I think it's great that he has a hobby he enjoys away from the relationship where it leaves you time to find one and do things for yourself. He's doing nothing wrong by surfing especially with his family. Find your own hobby. That'll give you guys more to talk about anyway.

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  • It's normal that he enjoys surfing, but he should be making just as much time for you as he should for his hobbies. You could also suggest that he could teach you how to surf? It's a fun activity and it'll bring you two closer. Compromise. Don't wait on shore for him for hours, it'll annoy the both of you. Find something that interests you and pursue it just as he is.

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  • This is Australia, right? Just go along with him and read or go for a swim yourself, as long as he doing things you like it shouldn't be a big deal girlie :)

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  • Its his passion, you can't take that away from him, what you can do is tell him how you feel, he can't read your mind so I think he needs to hear it and then you can find a way to spend some weekends together

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  • I'm sure it's not that he prefers it to you. He just enjoys it. Why don't you express your feelings about it to him and try get a weekend to yourselves

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  • If it's something he loves to do, then let him be... Maybe try learning how to surf 🏄 or something.

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  • Did you actually really try, or just go along expecting to cling to him the whole time?

    Having hobbies outside of your relationship is both normal and healthy. Maybe you should think about getting one yourself.

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  • Yes, unless you guys are getting married let him enjoy that hobby as much as he wants.

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  • Learn to surf
    Or get your own hobbies

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  • its not into you that much

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  • Maybe it's time to reevaluate why you're with him if all he does is surf xD

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    • At the weekend with his family. Could be worse he could be pissing his wages up against a wall every Saturday.

  • If it's just the weekend don't trip he probably does like you but surfing is an escape, try putting time aside on the weekend to escape too. Go shopping, play sports, what ever you need to do and if gets worse talk to him. I hope this helped.

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