Has anyone had any luck on OkCupid?

[Anonymous]

I'm thinking about giving it a go...

[BearsAnswers]

Yeah, I've used it before. Met a lot of really great people actually. With a lot of questions answered, their matching algorithms can be pretty handy. If you find someone with a 95% compatibility rating, even if you don't have 'the spark' with them, chances are really good that you will at least get along well and be able to have good conversation and stuff. And looking through the questions at how someone answers stuff can give you a lot more understanding about them as a person and how they think than the profile. People always put on a 'best case' face when they write up a profile. But as they answer the questions, their real personalities often start coming out.

It also depends a bit on your personality, what you're looking for, and how... unique your needs are.

[Asker]

Ahh I like this response. I've been looking out for people that I'm most compatabile with in a hope we'll get along. I wasn't sure if this could mean i would be bypassing any potentials. I'm going to do a little experiment to test your theory :-)

So far I've been messaged by men who are 60-80% compatible with me and also men that are way out of my age range. Is there any way I can restrict who sees my page?

[BearsAnswers]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure there is a way to restrict who messages you to people that are within your stated requirements. I haven't looked too far into it. I've found the best success by far with people above 90%. That is usually going to be a good person to hang out with, even if there isn't anything romantic that comes from it. But I am looking for very, very specific things, so people looking for more general things may have more success with a wider compatibility range.

One of the things you can do too, if someone's compatibility is a bit low but you still have interest, is look at what answers of theirs are actually bringing that score down, and see how much of an issue it actually will be in 'real life'. If the only thing dragging it down is that you say you are a dog person, and they say they are a cat person, in 10 different questions, and neither of you actually have a pet, you could still really get along. If that makes sense.

[Asker]

I understand what you mean. I'll bear that in mind. I'm finding myself running away from anyone that I'm not more than 70% compatible with. I had a guy message me, he was 25% compatible with me and I was so confused by it. I feel like he just messaged me because he liked what he saw - which is typical but I feel these encounters are pointless. I really like the use of algorithms on this website though.

Have you been on many dates with anyone from OkCupid?

[BearsAnswers]

Yeah a lot of guys on the site just take a numbers game approach, unfortunately. They just message everyone they see, usually without even reading the profile, to see who messages back and shows interest. I know some girls that put an instruction for the first line of any first message somewhere in their profile so they can instantly weed out guys that didn't even bother to read their profile before messaging them.

And yes, I've been on a lot of dates from the site. Even though I'm looking for specific things it's been really effective.

[Asker]

Ah it's really good to hear you've had success on this site :) I'm against writing instructions on my profile since it won't help the situation because the ones I want to read it, probably won't lol

I have started skimming through questions on profiles and I've found it pretty interesting. Some of the questions are odd and it's understandable that some of my matches responses are different to mine. I was 83% compatible with this guy, I decided to answer more questions and it was scary how many questions we answered the same. I didn't message him for some reason though.

[BearsAnswers]

Lol, but that's saying that the guys you want won't care enough about you as a person to actually spend five minutes reading your profile. That's no good. If they can't take five minutes to learn about you, you can be sure they are not interested in you, only in what you can do for them.

And yeah, the more questions you answer the more accurate it gets. It works well when you've answered a ton of varied questions

[Asker]

I meant if I put something like ''don't message me if you haven't read my profile'', the ones that clearly don't care about my interests will still message me with the usual bland conversation starters. Whereas the men that are genuinely trying to get to know me (it pretending to) will take the time to message me and ask me questions based on what they've read.

[BearsAnswers]

Oh I see what you're saying. My point is just to make it easier to weed out though. If you say "I only read messages where the first word is a colour" you can ignore all the messages that don't start that way. You don't have to waste time reading it to see if they seem like they've read it. You'll know in one word

[Asker]

Ah I understand what you mean. To be honest most of the messages from the men that don't read my profile are short e. g. hey you okay? , so it doesn't waste too much time.

I am a bit skeptical about answering the sex questions, first reason being the fact I've never had sex. So i leave most of they section blank, I'm actually shocked by some of the questions lol

[BearsAnswers]

Well, they have room to comment as well, so you'll only need to add a few comments about 'wouldn't know, haven't had sex' and a guy will know what's up. I find some interesting sex questions pretty helpful, and I know some people with fairly particular tastes so it really helps find compatible people. Which is kinda the point.

[Asker]

I understand this. I just don't like the world to know I'm a Virgin. If a guy was to ask me, I would happily tell him personally.

[BearsAnswers]

That's fair. They will either figure it out or think you are super conservative if there are a ton of questions answered and no sex ones anyway. If they are observant.

[DasVoz]

Online Dating is a like a drug.

Women enjoy more engagement than men, but get addicted to the positive attention and end up squandering the genuine opportunities that come knocking.

Men see windows of opportunities everywhere, everywhere! So many girls with hot fappable pics! What they fail to see are the other men fapping away to the same girl, but they have six packs and/or money to burn.

Rarely does something good come out of online dating. To say otherswise is akin to saying good things come out of playing the lottery, I mean look at all of those winners!

[DasVoz]

Did I just misue akin? Oh fuck me.

[Asker]

Loool I don't actually like the attention. I find it so overwhelming when I receive lots of messages from guys. I tend to find at least one decent guy on these websites.

Why did you have to take it there and mention guys gapping? Yuck I hope I'm not on anyone's fapp list.

[DasVoz]

Online dating is not for you. Especially not OkCupid or PoF. It brings out the worst in us.

[Asker]

What are my other options? Who are these sites for then?

[DasVoz]

They are intended to be for everyone, but by design bring out our worst intentions.

Your options are to join clubs, attend major events, and network through existing connections.

You can also find people on forums based on your interest. For example, gamer girls end up finding gamer guys by communicating on forums.

Just avoid anything centered around "dating", period. We tend to screw up that concept with short term thinking.

[Asker]

I don't want to join clubs since I'm not a social person. I have joined forums in the past and never gel with anyone on them

[DasVoz]

Well, you're going to have to decide where you're willing to compromise. You can't just hate doing everything and expect results to come.

I hate giving up donuts, and I know that pretty much guarantees no six pack. You have to give something to get it.

[RBD12]

there's some weirdos guys on there. and some just wants sex. like... NO i dont those.

[Asker]

Lol sounds like the kind of men I meet when I go out tbh. So no different to what I'm used to

[RBD12]

i guess lol I don't know... but good luck

[Dragonblood21]

Are you a chick? Well then I hope you like weaving through hundreds of messages.

Are you a dude? Just go outside. Your chances are better out there.

[Asker]

So far I'm so overwhelmed with messages. I'm a girl, I'm looking for love in all different places.

[zagor]

Nope. Sent a lot of likes, a fair number of messages. Just a couple responses. Not a single in-person meeting.

[Asker]

How long have you been using it?

[zagor]

Maybe 5 months. I don't go on it that often.

[Anonymous]

I had an account there once a few years ago. There were some... very interesting people there...

[Asker]

Elaborate?

[DizzyAster]

My friend met his girlfriend on there.

[Asker]

Aww lucky man

[DizzyAster]

He is.

[Marinepilot]

Bunch of money grubbing scammers.

[Asker]

You paid to use the site?

[Marinepilot]

No, but girls on this site asked for money.