Why do guys want gals who are demanding & selfish, but not attentive & caring?

I watched a YouTube video the other day it made me sick. But having recently experienced it myself, I knew there was truth to what was said.

Basically the video stated that men don't want women who take care of them, do things for them, show interest in them because they consider these women to be doormats. Instead they want a independent woman who essentially plays the "hard-to-get" game.

After recently being there for a guy friend who has repeatedly been treated like sh*t by his exs I thought he would appreciate my efforts. WRONG! He instead turned to a much younger, naive, and (importantly) demanding, selfish, self-centered girl who didn't do squat to help him with anything (physically or emotionally) - very much like his exes. I don't get it. Is that all men are attracted to? Girls who toy with them & end up treating them like crap? Why don't guys appreciate a good woman when there's one right in front of them?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I have to disagree. There are many "strong, independent" women that complain about not getting men because they're apparently intimidated by them.

    I don't think being a caring woman makes you seem like a doormat. The same is often said about nice guys. Only on the internet are things this black and white.

    Also, I wouldn't put much stock in some video you found on the internet. I have recently learned myself that it isn't healthy to take things on the internet too seriously. It seems like it will only lead to further unhappiness and increasing insecurities.

    Chalk him up to being a bad fit for you. He might regret his decision to be with her (I'm somewhat confident in that actually). Move on to the next guy, and hopefully, everything will work out for the best. Good luck!

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What Guys Said 8

  • While there is some truth in what you say, it only applies to a small percentage of guys.

    The mistake you made is assuming that a guy who is obviously attracted to demanding girls would want something else. To your surprise, but to no one elses, he went right back to the type of girl he was used to and comfortable with.

    Likely, his mother treated his father just the same way, and he grew up seeing and hearing that and that's what "normal" is to him, so that's what he's comfortable with and finds attractive. And unless HE realizes he has a problem and decides HE wants to change, and then is willing to go through the therapy and do the work TO change, he's going to continue to be with those types of women forever. That's his comfort zone.

    But most guys don't want that. You need to learn to avoid the guys who DO, because that kind of guy won't ever be happy with caring, gentle, happy girls like you. That doesn't mean that there aren't a ton of guys who would, though. They'll just be the guys who grew up with a mother who was more like you.

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  • I don't want any of it. But there aremany women who are very demanding.

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  • It's the same as chicks wanting piece of sh*t guys. Some people like a challenging partner. I have to admit lots of girls I've liked were exactly this type, especially the one I had the most feelings for. Before I decided to throw in the towel, I searched for a caring girl. They always were chasing after guys that don't want them. Therefore, there are guys who want someone with those traits.

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  • I think your friend is just a little naive, and generally I agree with many of the statements I read here.

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  • I, myself, want the best of both worlds.

    I want a strong willed woman who can look after herself and doesn't take crap, but who also respects traditional gender roles that actually work and have held civilizations together for centuries, for example, cooking, staying at home to look after the kids.

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  • i don't want any of those things, I only want a good, sweet caring woman but ALL girls are demanding & selfish.. so guys have no choice and get stuck with them

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  • It's on Youtube, so it must be true.

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    • I don't believe everything I read off the web or watch on YouTube, I am smarter than that. But being that I have personally experienced what the video described, I had to give it some thought.

  • I disagree

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What Girls Said 1

  • Nah, I'm sure there are men out there who appreciate those qualities. Just don't be with the ones that don't? The ones that don't tell you they like that? The ones that show that they don't care about it? :/

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