Girls, how long do you ignore someone?

Girls, if a guy best friend, or a boyfriend upsets you, how long do you tend to ignore them? Do you expect them initiate contact after you have cooled down? Do you become stubborn? I just want to get an insight into the female thinking mechanism when it comes to being upset.

This question has a poll!

  • I ignore completely and never want to see them again after Vote A
  • I ignore for a few days then contact them/want contact Vote B
  • I ignore for weeks then contact them/want contact Vote C
  • I never ignore and go back to normal quickly Vote D
  • Things will never be the same again so I'm not bothered Vote E

What's Your Opinion?


Most Helpful Opinion

  • I don't exactly ignore people, I just stop reaching out to them.

    Usually I need about a day or two to cry out/angrily explode about the situation. Then I need a day or two to let my feelings settle. And we haven't been speaking, I will then reach out when I'm feeling better. I find if I initiate it before I go through my emotional ride I say the wrong things and the situation just gets worse. Normally talking it out with someone close to me helps as well, I start to wrap my head round the issue.

    It depends how close I am to the person. The closer I am the more likely I'm going to talk out what's wrong, but usually they have to ask me, I won't bring the information forward on my own. You always know if there is something wrong with me though.

    The people very close to me know my mood even if I'm faking because my eyes give it all away.

What Girls Said 30

  • Depends, what exactly would he have done wrong?

  • It depends on what they did to upset me but generally I don't worry about it and don't contact them

  • Depends on the situation what cause you to be upset.. More often than not I usually don't care to see you even after an explanation.. So things should never happen...

  • Honestly, I ignored a guy for a month and a half after he bragged about me liking him. I gave him the cold shoulder for all this time. He kept talking to me and desperately trying to get my attention though, but I was too hurt (I always answered politely of course). Point is, we got into summer vacations, and haven't spoken since. Now I wonder, if he still has feelings for me. (I know he did till the last day of school), but summer began in mid May, Perhaps he still has?

  • not good at ignoring people.

  • life is to short not to forgive... I just know what kind of person they are and

    "things will never be the same" ..

  • I hold grudges and will ignore you for years.

    • Wow!

  • Well I accidentally clicked on C when I meant to click on B. lol. Sorry. But anyway. It all depends on what the person did to upset me. If it was something smaller than usually I ignore them for the rest of the day and forget about it after a night's sleep. Or I'll ignore them until they apologize even if I'm not angry anymore because I just want them to realize that what they did hurt my feelings. If it were something bigger like he cheated on me or something then that's a whole other story. lol. It also depends on who the person is. Like I have a harder time ignoring my bff rather than just a friend.

    • I'm pretty sure this is the case. I won't be used by anyone. Thanks for your help, I appreciate it.

    • Well then if that's the case then she doesn't deserve you as a friend so maybe you're better off without her. You don't need someone that's gonna use you and then drop you so easily. Just make sure that is really the case and there isn't a deeper issue.

    • I'll be honest I just sent her a nice text yesterday asking if she still wanted to go to the beach next week (I promised her that a couple of weeks ago). She hasn't replied back after a day so I'm gonna leave it with her to be honest. Looking back I think she just used me for emotional support when she needed this and I was the only consistent person with her. She even forgave one of her ex bf's (one that mistreated her) and went back to his flat for a chill out as friends about a month ago.

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  • for a little while maybe a few minutes then push the thought away and things cool down I kind of react normally. just a bit hesitant though

  • I don't hold grudges and don't really stay upset. I don't think I have ever ignored someone because I was mad at them.

  • If we both crossed lines then I will cool off for a day or so and contact them. If he was way out of line I ignore him until he comes to me. If I was out of lines might wait a few hours to collect my words and contact.

    • I understand. It's frustrating. My husband and I go through this a lot :-/

    • Yeah I honestly have shown her how sorry I was. She knows that but needs time as she didn't think I'd ever upset he'd like that (it was a stupid overreaction and I've never done that, I've always been so nice and supportive to her, always been a good friend). Us guys like resolution, you women like space lol

    • Don't crowd her. Let her cool down. Just show her you are genuinely sorry somehow. We women can be very stubborn when hurt.

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  • I chose E originally, but didn't see the whole question. If it was something major like a boyfriend cheating on me, or my "best friend" betraying me, than I'd obviously go with 'E

    Knowing that I wouldn't want to associate myself or be around someone who's done something like that to me. But, if it's something small, rather petty, then definitely 'B' I would have to say.

  • B if it's something that can be fixed and I'd want to be contacted. otherwise E

    • I hope she's not the same with me. We were so consistent for the last 6 months, my stupid overreaction to her being off with me really upset her. She said we'll be OK but she needs more time as I really upset her.

  • I'll usually tell them why I'm upset,and cool off. If they try contacting me before I've cooled off, I'll tell them that, too. Lol. I don't do the whole ignoring thing, it's childish. I don't expect them to ignite contact after, but if they want to, cool.

  • I can't ignore people. I really can't, I'm too nice for that. Holding a grudge is definitely not in my personality. I just try to talk to him and sort things out because that way, we'll both know how not to upset each other in case something similar happens. BUT, there comes a point where if that person is just too stubborn to listen to what I have to say, that I withdraw a little bit and that's when I can kind of start to hold a grudge.

  • I feel like ignoring you boyfriend just because he upset you is extremely childish

    • your**

  • I hardly ever give in, especially if head pissed me off. It also depends on the situation.

  • i ignore them and they can contact me after a week goes by

  • i tend to ignor them because I feel like a bother. after a while I'll say hey but it's usually their move!

  • AAhhh...very interesting question. I voted B, but that's not quite right for me. I typically do not ignore anyone at all. If I'm angry with someone, I just tell them so & maybe even yell at them, but not even in a yelling voice, just a tone. Only a few times in my life have I ever ignored anyone and I think those were times that I could not run the risk of speaking to them because I was so angry that I would go off again & wanted to avoid that. Or I had decided that they were a total *sswipe and I did not want anymore to do with them again less they came to me and made amends, and then I still may not want a thing to do with them depending on what had happened. Because it must have been HUGE for me to do this in the first place. I never ignore the people that I love. Ever.

    • Very interesting answer :) You say only a few times you have ignored, was it that bad that you never wanted to speak to them again and did they eventually make it up? Mine was a fem friend (as you have seen from other comments) and I upset her, I'm man enough to admit that and was so sorry to her.

  • I don't ignore people, it's very hard for me to hold a grudge. I just get over it on my own. The only person I've ever ignored was my dad and that was for 3 days. My parents are divorced and my dad likes to crack jokes, sometimes he forgets that his ex wife is my mom and he can't just say whatever about her in front of me.

  • Depends on the severity of what the guy did. Broke their friendship and smashed her heart to smithereens, I'd say ignore for a very long time possibly forever. Some tiny little fight, probably like a day or an hour. If they purposefully didn't invite me somewhere, probably a week. idk, it's all relative to what was done. Did you do something to upset a friend?

    • Ohhh I see... well give it a few days... then text her and see how she responds. you have to realize she's in a new relationship too so she's probably solely relying on talking to that guy.

    • That's the thing I didn't call her that directly. She said to me on a Saturday night before our fall out that she blanked me out of her life 3 years ago as she said she was a bitch then. I bumped into her again last year and been friends since, then she mentioned the blanking thing. So when she was off for no reason again I thought she was going down the same road as 3 years ago and was referring to her comment.

    • Hmmm yeah, give her a couple weeks. I don't think she'll hate youa fter that. Why would you call someone a bitch if you like them?

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  • Aw damn...I voted A but didn't see the whole question. In the case where it's a break up or something serious that I don't want to see/hear from that person again, I ignore them and break off all contact. It's just easier for me to move on that way. No need to drag things out.

    As far as your specific question goes, though, I don't ignore the person if it's a little squabble. Life's too short for drama.

    I recently got into a heated discussion with my good guy friend. We quickly found out that we have very opposing views on the subject, and are both very stubborn. We left each other peeved in our stubbornness, but then acted like normal the next day. Agree to disagree and move on!

  • I don't. I usually don't hold grudges. I mean you'd have to really hurt me for me to ignore you.

  • I never ignore him in the first place... when my boyfriend and I upset each other, we talk about it until we sort it out. Sometimes we might need to take a break from talking to sort out our thoughts, but it's not some childish game :P

    • Honestly I don't go more than a couple of hours without talking to him about it, because I know it will make me feel better. But with other boyfriends who were less understanding and helpful, it was more like a whole day.

    • How long would you consider a break to resolve from his last apology?

  • If my boyfriend upsets me, I might ignore him for a few hours while I cool down. But I would never cut off contact for longer than the rest of the day. Putting space between us is about taking care of myself, not punishing him.

  • It depends how upset am I and how big his mistake.Usually if its a just small matter I won't ignore him but I mostly tell him how I feel.If its a really big matter seems like I'm gonna choose B.

    • Give her some times till next week.I think she is still in the 'heat'

    • I upset and hurt her with not so wise word (didn't swear at her) and apologized big time via text next day, she accepted but said she needs more time before things can be normal again . This was a few days ago, shall I contact her this weekend or leave till next week? This is my best friend.

  • i don't really ignore them per say.. but I'll stop trying to talk to them unless they talk to me and apologize basically.. now depending on the guy and what he did to hurt me, I might avoid him or if I see him I won't initiate talking to him because I know it'll just hurt me more if I do..

    • it's hard to say, really, because I don't know what happened or yall's connection and how she felt about what happened.. just give her time and see what happens.. if she doesn't forgive you, odds are, she's not worth your time tbh.. it'll be alright man.. what happens, will happen you just meed to be ready for whatever she decides.

    • Yeah she has accepted my apology, was text convo with me on Saturday but said she needs more time to trust me again due to my sudden outburst to her. It was out of character of me and I couldn't have said sorry anymore, but she just needs time which I will totally respect. But I'm not sure if she will forgive me in the long run though...

    • if I accepted his apology that means I'm over what he did or say to me so it wouldn't matter if he waited or not to initiate contact..

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  • I don't ignore people; that is immature and pointless. I express that I am angry with them and will need a few hours before I can discuss in detail what happened to maker upset.

  • Ignoring someone/giving them the silent treatment is childish and manipulative. I never ignore my boyfriend but I may want space to cool down if I'm really upset. The amount of time I would need would depend on how upset I was, but I've never stayed upset for more than a day.

    • I agree! But I reckon she'll just need a few days to recover.

What Guys Said 1

  • i love the ignore game. that's when I know I need a mistress.