How can I possibly explain why I ignored her so long?

[ginzz99]

I'll start by saying I realize one of the worst things one can do is to ignore someone for no reason. Well, that's exactly what happened.

I had a really great connection with a girl I used to call/text for a couple of months. We got along really great! It wasn't serious, although we often acted like it did by spending a lot of time messaging/flirting and being in constant communication.

For some reason, another girl got my attention who I went out with, which made me put girl 1 on hold. She sent me a few texts asking about me but not knowing what to say I just completely ignored her. It's now been around 3 weeks.

Now, I'm not someone who plays with people's feelings at all, much less purposely disappointing or worrying someone like that. I really did not intend on behaving that way and wish to re-initiate contact but don't know what to say.

I also don't like making excuses or even worse lying (not that I can even think of what to say if I did), but I feel telling the truth might make her misunderstand me and not want anything to do with me again, and I don't want that happening.

1. Should I tell the truth or make an excuse?

2. If I had to make an excuse, what can I possibly say?

Tell the truth

Make an excuse

[derpina92]

I say tell the truth, not only because I think one should always tell the truth, but because I did the exact same thing to a guy I really liked and it worked out in my favor.

I met Guy 1 first, became friends with him, liked him right away, and thought he might like me back because he sort of flirted with me. Then I noticed that he was super friendly to everyone, so I assumed he was only being friendly to me too, and gave up.

I met Guy 2 a month later and found out pretty much right away that he liked me, so I dated him instead. Long story short, I fell in love with him, we got engaged, and then he broke my heart into a million pieces. Meanwhile, I ignored Guy 1 because I was still upset about the fact that I kind of felt like he'd led me on.

After Guy 2 left, Guy 1 was there for me, and I resisted starting to like him again, but inevitably I did. We started talking more and more, and now, a month and a half later, he's been flirting with me hard and it looks like we're on the verge of starting a beautiful relationship.

All of that is to say, people make mistakes. If you think Girl 2 was a mistake and you really want to be with Girl 1, tell her the truth. Hopefully she will be understanding and accept you back. If not, she wasn't the girl for you. If you intend to stay with Girl 2, however, then still tell the truth to Girl 1 and apologize for ignoring her so she can move on, but don't try to start anything romantic or flirtatious with her.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

make an excuse and see if she'll accept you back. there are a lot of desperate females who take guys back who dropped them out of the blue, maybe she is one of them.

however if you tell the truth then there is a 99% chance that she will ignore you because that's insulting. its like saying to someone "you were cool when I had no other options, but someone better came along so I dropped you". no one wants to hear that.

your best bet is to offer no explanation unless pressed. if she does ask you why you can say something like you guys were getting too close and you got scared of your feelings. bitches love hearing shit like that because it makes them think they are special to you.

[BubblyMaria]

The truth always comes out so it's better if she hears it from you than anyone else. Then you'll look like an asshole and she'll ask you why weren't you just honest about it and not only are you an asshole now but also a liar and at that point she'll see you like "the rest of them/all guys are assholes".

Everyone makes mistakes, just own up to them.

[CatWolf]

I'm going to be brutally honest and say that if you make an excuse or lie and she finds out, you could lose her trust for good.
Let her know the truth. If you tell her the truth, she should be understanding. Which brings me to my next point - if you tell her the truth and she gets very angry, you probably shouldn't have any connections with her, anyway. If she gets angry when you tell her the truth, you could tell her that you could have lied to her and that telling her the truth was your way of showing her that you trust her enough and think high enough of her that you wouldn't lie to her.

[BabeBarlow91]

You make a lot of excuses for yourself about being the type of person that doesn't do exactly what you did. We are all human and we all err from time to time.

However, don't go back to Girl 1 because Girl 2 didn't work out. Girl 1 didn't quite float your boat otherwise Girl 2 wouldn't have stood a chance. What happens if Girl 3 comes along and Girl 1 is put on hold again? Does she deserve that?

Are you able to just leave Girl 1 alone and go find another girl?

[WWLifeBegin]

Agree, you wouldn't want a girl to be with you after knowing you are her second or third choice, so don't do that to her.

[timmy111]

Mate, it happens to all of us at some stage.. I don't think the exact truth would work, And similarly she is probably smart enough to be guessing what happened..
Maybe a small exaggeration that does not insult her intelligence, but also leaves the ball in her court, and just see what her response is...
Prob 50/50 what will happen, but yeah it happens to us all

[PeterPan11]

Definitely tell her the truth. You owe her honesty, even if its difficult. Its only been three weeks so if you explain and apologize, she may be a little disappointed but probably not too mad. Just be honest with her, if you lie it could cause problems in he future which is even more unfair to her

[CDyer]

Neither? Just text her and be like "hi it's been a while how are you?" And see what she says? If she does bring it up just say you'd been busy and wasn't sure what you wanted? It's not lying it's wording it in a less hurtful way? It sounds like you guys were quite casual anyway so you haven't technically done anything wrong? Text her you don't know she may still be waiting by the phone pining for you or she may have moved on and found someone you won't know till you text her? Just start with the "hi it's been a while how are you?" Sort of thing and see what happens? Good luck

[nileve]

I am telling this from experience I was ignored with no reason mentioned for a whole summer, one day he finally decided to respond and I quote
"it's not you it's me I just changed " . I still feel like he was not honest about his reason. Til this day he hasn't told me the real reason.

with that mention she is already hurt so a lie will just make it worst if she doesn't buy your lie. the least you can do is be honest explain yourself how you explained to us on here: say the truth and she will be hurt and understand , say a lie and she will be twice as hurt and not understand

up to you

[RestlessYouth_]

I think you should leave her the hell alone honestly. If you didn't like her enough to put her first then you obviously don't like her a lot. You're only going fot her because the second girl didn't work out. I wouldn't come back it you lied or said the truth because either way, you're an ass

[LondonElle]

Always tell the truth. When you lie you disrespect and insult the person. It's important to think out what you're going to say ahead of time so when you say it you can show her it wasn't meant to be rude to her and it just happened. Forgiveness is usually given when the person you hurt understands that you know how it hurt them and how it felt.

[no26108108]

You dont deserve her if you put her aside for another women. That isent love. Not trying to be mean but thats how I feel

[spuitkaas]

Tell the truth, but don't expect that you relationship will be as before or that she'll even want to talk to you, but you've got to respect those consequences. You could have seen it coming. I would personally be really pissed.

[sxphs]

“if you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.”

― Johnny Depp

[TokyoGal]

You don't have to do either. Just say you're sorry for dropping off the map, and that you missed chatting with her.

[swimmersam]

well, telling her that you ignored her because some other girl caught your interest will make her lose interest in you. she shouldn't have to be anyones second choice.

[new_me]

The truth shall set you free and hurt her less in the longrun

[smexiliciousss]

if you really want to try to get her, lie. but that just makes you an asshole. i wouldn't want to be anyone's second choice..

[unknown513331]

In my experience I always go for tell the truth , but in your case telling the truth has high percentage of ending up to good for you. Sorry bro

[kykymason]

If you make an excuse, I promise you, she will find out.
Just tell her the truth and get it over with.

[Poppykate]

Tell her you received her messages, but you didn't know how to response. I wouldn't leave it too long though.

[bomba78]

be honest.
I doubt however that she will still be interested.

[1GuyOpinion]

Give her the link to this page. Ez explain ez life.

[Anonymous]

-_-
Jerk move. Be honest. That's the best thing you can do.

[sp33d]

Honesty, brother. Honesty.

Lying is for the weak.

[Anonymous]

It's better to let her know that you are still interested in her if you have no feelings for girl #2 anymore just tell her it was a mistake to stop talking to her you just got sidetracked.

[HollyGoLightlly]

Tell her the truth, why lie for?