What is your opinion of cougars?

[Anonymous]

I saw my cousins over the weekend and the topic somehow got on to the idea of cougars. I know what the basic idea of a cougar is but I asked him what makes a girl a cougar. He said "if she's at least 10 years older than a guy". I have six questions about them though

1. Is my cousin right about a cougar only being 10 years older than a guy?

2. If not, what's the right answer

3. If you're a man, how do you feel about dating a cougar?

4. If you're a girl, how do you feel about cougars in general?

5. Are you a cougar yourself?

6. The girl I like, is 9 years older than me. She was born in December of 1980 and I was born in March of 1989 which makes me currently 24 and her 32. Do you think I should continue liking her or should I move on? I suppose it really just depends on what you think of them but I'm just curious of what I should do.

Updates

+1 y

Why such a low rating?

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for getting my rating back up to at least average.


Also, I'm really loving all the answers I'm getting. I chose best answer but I can always change it and I enjoy reading these.

[Anonymous]

1. Yes, but this isn't set in stone.

2. A 27 year old going for an 18 year old is cougarish. It really depends on where the two people are in their lives. A 70 and 60 year old is not a cougar, because they are both very mature and it's hard to find someone when you start to get older. 16 years or more is pretty much always a cougar thing.

4. I find it slightly offensive, I don't know why I do. I mean, sometimes age is just a number. I'm pretty sure my 84 year old grandma had a guy in his 70's. Both of their spouses had passed and they truly enjoyed each others company. My grandpa is 10 years older than my grandma, he isn't a "sugar daddy". People should be able to date up and down in age without labels.

5. My boyfriend is one year older than me

6. I'm not going to tell you to give up on a relationship, because I don't know either of you. However, in general a girl at 32 is thinking of kids within the next two years. She wants a guy who she can start a family with right away, at least I would at that age. A 24 year old guy has a lot left in him and probably isn't ready to settle down. You have to be emotionally and financially ready and stable before you have kids. If you honestly think you are ready, not just for this girl, but with anyone then give it a shot.

[Asker]

She doesn't want kids right now

[Opinion Owner]

Go for it, although those things change. Just make sure you're at the same point in your life, or it'll get really difficult.

[Asker]

I'm not even ready to get married let alone have kids

[toulouse]

not everyone ever wants kids. many women do not.

[Asker]

Actually I believe everybody, male or female, goes through phases of not wanting kids, and wanting kids. She's just going through a "not wanting them" phase

[RedSmartie]

1) I always thought it described any women who preferred younger men, but typically it does imply a larger age gap.

4) I think it's ridiculous that women get looked down on by being into much younger guys while it's perfectly acceptable for a man in his 40's to be attracted to a girl in her teens or early 20's. With an age gap like that, it's pretty gross either way. For smaller age gaps of like 2-10 years, I don't see what the big deal is.

5) I used to be into younger guys when I was in high school, but since I was old for my grade I did it more out of necessity than anything else. Now that I'm in college, I tend to ignore specific ages and I prefer guys who are around my age, younger or older.

6) That really depends on her. Some girls don't care about age and some are very specific about what they like. I know lots of women and girls who will only date guys who are older than them by a couple years, and while that's pretty typical, I doubt it applies to most girls.

[jacquesvol]

I do NOT find it "perfectly acceptable" for a man in his 40's to be attracted to a girl in her teens or early 20's. However, I mind my own business (if the girl is of legal age)

[Asker]

Why did you stop going after younger guys?

[RedSmartie]

I don't know, I just lost interest. There are more older guys in college than younger ones so I guess I just adapted.

[05Jueey]

Sorry but it's not gross lol. It's what they like

[RositaV]

1) Approximately

2) I'm 29, and I can go as low as dating a 22 year old.

3) I'm a girl

4) I'm not in my 40s, so I'm not an official Cougar. But I am referred to as a Puma.

5) I have been known to date guys as much as 7 years my junior

6) She might be interested in having a sexual relationship with you. But don't expect her to take you seriously.

[Asker]

I've never heard of the Puma term applied to people, only cougar. That's really interesting

[RositaV]

link

[cheesesteak7]

1. no

2. I guess no true definitive answer, but it tends to be generalized as a woman no younger than her mid-late 30s and still at her sexual peak (which starts in the mid-30s for women)

3. I love it! They tend to know exactly what they want, are more emotionally and mentally mature, and have their own money they insist spending!

4. n/a

5. nope

6. Why should you stop liking her? 32 isn't even cougar age anyway. But even if it were, why would it matter?

[Asker]

Because I heard it's taboo

[cheesesteak7]

it is taboo. ...but only when it's actually a significant age difference, say like a 21 y/o boy and a 42 y/o woman. Or even in my situation, I was 23 and she was 37, and that was frowned upon by some of my colleagues. But 24 and 32? There's really nothing wrong with that.

[sketchy]

I think the 3 characteristics of a cougar are:

1. Relative age - must be significantly older than her partner.

2. Absolute age - must be 40+ (a 32 year old could never be a cougar, however young her partner).

3. Predatory nature - must specifically target and aggressively pursue younger partners (doesn't wait around for the guy to make the first move etc).

Personally, they scare the sh*t out of me - although these days I'm too old to be a cougar victim anyway.

[RositaV]

Under 40 is called a Puma ;)

[Asker]

So she's not a cougar if she doesn't go after you?

[sketchy]

Not according to the true definition, no - although some people may use it in a more general sense these days. She's just a woman with a toy boy.

[Enideqa]

1- I guess so

4- I don't understand, I am only in my twenties so many that is why, but I wouldn't date anyone 5 years younger than me, based on maturity.

5- no

6- if you like her I see no reason to stop, every relationship is different, it all depends on what her feelings are for you.

[Asker]

You think younger men are immature because of age?

[Enideqa]

No I mean I would base it on maturity. Not all younger men are immature but there sure are a few.

[COCOCHANEL]

1. I don't know because this cougar term came out recently and I haven't been around to properly research it over in merika.

2. see above

4. I feel neutral

5. maybe. my boyfriend is 6 years younger but I have been with a boy 8 years my junior. I don't care about age as long as he looks an acts young and cute

6. don't let age alone get in the way.

[Asker]

Why are you neutral on it?

[Anonymous]

I never really thought of there being a set age requirement to be a cougar, to me it's just an attractive older woman. Personally, I've never seen a woman who was substantially older than me that I was attracted to, sure there are attractive older women, but I'm just not attracted to them, I prefer girls that are younger than myself. Honestly, I can't tell you what to do, if you like her and don't mind that she's older than you, go for it.

[Asker]

It's just that I prefer older women but the question is, how much older should I be going.

[Opinion Owner]

As old as you feel comfortable with in my opinion.

[CindiluvsFriends]

Well...

even though *I* could be considered a cougar since I old enough to be your Mother,I could never date someone much younger than me. I want a MAN,not a child.

just bein honest.

[Asker]

Some guys at 24 are men

[CindiluvsFriends]

Well compared to 42,they're still considered a child,no matter how mature they are.

[Olivia9]

1.Yeah 10 or more years older

4.I feel like cougars are pathetic, but so are sugar daddies. It just seems sad when a woman has to pay for male companionship because that is essentially why the guys are there. If not something is really wrong with a 20 something year old guy attracted to a 50 something year old woman biologically speaking it makes absolutely no sense... I think sugar daddies and cougars are somewhat predatory and it's not nice.

6.If you let your stupid cousin dictate your love life maybe you aren't emotionally mature enough for a relationship to begin with. I mean if you are dating a woman and your best friend says she is ugly you dump her? It's kind of sheep like behavior don't you think?

[Asker]

Just trying to take in to account everything everyone says. I know it's ultimately my decision but isn't the idea of being on a site like this as well as asking people in real life what they think to get a second opinion? I don't appreciate the attack on my cousin though, please refrain from such behavior

[Olivia9]

LOL, you probably shouldn't e so sensitive when you ask such a question. But perhaps you need a second opinion on that.

[05Jueey]

Quite an immature and ignorant response. Not even worth trying to educate you. There is nothing pathetic about going for what you like, even if it's just for fun, you judgmental person

[Olivia9]

So paying for sex isn't pathetic? Where did you educate yourself the brothel? lol

[Asker]

Paying for sex is not pathetic

[Olivia9]

But it is...that is why it's paying for sex. No one proudly pays for sex it's embarrassing and pathetic because they can't get sex any other way...How is paying for sex NOT pathetic?

[Asker]

Because it's not

[Olivia9]

How isn't it? lol That's your argument, cause it's not?

[Asker]

It just isn't. It's a matter of opinion, I can't prove that it's not, just like you can't prove that it is

[Olivia9]

I already did prove it, and you didn't rebuttle except for "no, it isn't" If no one will sleep with you willingly so you need to pay people who are desperate for money to slee with you that is not only desperate but pathetic as well. People are not commodities to be bought and sold, just like love, you can't buy love and if you try it's sad. It's not a man thing, it's not a woman thing it's a "I'm pathetic so I have to pay people to pretend to be attracted to me and love me for an hour" thing.

[Asker]

Then explain that to prostitutes. See how they react. You still haven't PROVEN it is. It's not a fact, it is your OPINION

[05Jueey]

Paying for sex isn't pathetic. You're kind of pathetic though lol

[05Jueey]

"I'm pathetic so I have to pay people to pretend to be attracted to me and love me for an hour" thing." Sex is not love. Get your facts straight. It's a SERVICE. Just like a massage. Gtfo seriously. It's like saying "I don't know how to do my own hair or nails properly so it's pathetic that I need to get them professionally done"

[Olivia9]

So people are commodities just like nail paint are you serious? So human trafficking is akin to stealing given your logic. Sorry if I hit a nerve, it's a human rights issue honestly if you HAVE to oppress someone in order to have sex YOU are pathetic. PERIOD. If you fall into that category I'm sorry for you, but that is exactly what you are.

[Asker]

It's not pathetic, it's providing money to a girl who needs it in the only way she knows how. Not doing it, is pathetic.

[Olivia9]

LMAO, so everyone who doesn't have to pay for sex is pathetic? What PLANET DO YOU LIVE ON?

[Asker]

I'm saying, if you have to, then you're not pathetic. Some people just can't get sex without having to pay for it, why is that so hard to understand?

[EyeKnowMeNahYou]

@05Jueey absolutely agree with you

[05Jueey]

Good for them if they are doing what makes them happy :) Makes no difference to me

[Asker]

Can you answer the questions though?

[bluexqueen]

1. love has no age limits unless one is a child and the other is a adult.

4. I think they are either younger at heart or are looking for a young man to f***.

6. If you like her go for her. I know a couple that have an age difference of 12 years. She was a student and he ws a teacher, college not high school.

[Asker]

Do they know it's illegal to date and that he can lose his job if he gets caught?

[05Jueey]

It's not illegal if it's college I don't think.. lol. Why would it be?

[Asker]

Dating your teacher is illegal. Teachers have an agreement that they aren't to date their students because it is illegal and can get fired for it. I think this guy is just trying to live "on the edge"

[05Jueey]

It's not illegal. It may be against the schools policy at best

[Cookie1995]

Quite scary really. A woman in our village keeps hanging around me when I'm out walking dogs and trying to talk to me and compliment my body etc. she's in her 40's and I'm 18. Just feels wrong

[Asker]

Why do you feel it's wrong?

[Cookie1995]

Cuz it's the same age as my mum... Plus she's married.

[Asker]

The woman is married and hitting on you? She may not be in a happy relationship. What's wrong with dating someone your mom's age...

[Cookie1995]

She's made it very clear that she really like feeling my muscles. Just strange to me that's all.

[Asker]

You're weirded out by a girl who flirts with you? I would think that would be awesome

[Cookie1995]

Lol. Maybe it's OK. Guess I haven't given it a lot of thought.

[Asker]

It's OK to flirt with a girl that's married but never anything else. You don't want to be caught being the other man

[Cookie1995]

I get the impression she'd like that. She's always asking how good I would be in a fight because I'm muscular and asking how much I could take being punched. Quite funny really.

[Solitude2]

They are extraordinary women.

[Asker]

That's quite a statement. Do you have proof to back that up?

[Anonymous]

I think they should like poeple they like because of who they are, I think they are kind of making a fetish out of young people

[LukasArnuti]

Im seeing a cougar and im 27 years old best overall experience i had... including sex life if ur into that ofcourse. I just love maturity and confidence they bring. Love them

[Seek81]

let them bone away lolololol..

[Asker]

OK

[Seek81]

ok what?

sex is sex and dating is dating. I personally care either way, especially for not some dopey arse retarded and antiquated social norm.

[toulouse]

theres no reason for the title except to insult women. men date younger woman with no term except daddy.

a cougar in nature is a mother not old .

[Asker]

Yes but we live in an age where things get labeled and now a cougar is whatever it may be, not JUST a mother

[toulouse]

No nothing to do with being a mother. or a female, or older, or old. its simply a beautiful mountain lion. A Woman dating a younger guy is not a lion anymore than a guy dating a youngerWoman is a a. People like who they like.There's no need fir extra meaningless categories. people have enough difficulty understanding what actually exists.

[523206720]

most cougars were abused as children and have mental health issues or psychological disorders.

[Asker]

That's quite a claim. Can you prove such a statement?

[05Jueey]

I would also like to see some research results on this!

[HaggardDiva]

Ahahahahaha! Wow. Okay...

[RositaV]

LMAO! wow. really? Me? Abused? I don't think so. And I don't have mental health issues nor psychological disorders. Please attach a link to your research, Thank you!

[Seek81]

lololololololololololololol...

seriously? tell me where in the DSM 5 this the case?

yeah, so a 50 year old who bangs a 34 year old has mental distress and cannot function smoothly in society? lolololol..

[COCOCHANEL]

um I wasn't abused as a child. I just don't like aged faces.

[Anonymous]

I don't have an opinion about them at all.

[Asker]

Could you explain why not?

[Opinion Owner]

They want sex from younger guys that are hot and can last a long time in bed. What women DOESN'T want that?

[Anonymous]

My mother is one and yeah they don't work out in the end..I wonder why?lol

[Asker]

Why didn't it work?

[05Jueey]

I'm assuming age wasn't the reason they brake up like you are implying.. maybe she doesn't actually want a relationship. Plus relationships are difficult

[Anonymous]

I think they are great