Search Results: stand up for myself

I am 31 years old. I have held 25 jobs since the age of 15. I have been hospitalized in a psych hospital more than 20 times. In my late teens/early 20s, I became obsessed with finding another virgin to lose my virginity to. I lost my virginity at age 20 to a 16 year old young woman, and later I was arrested and convicted of stalking after trying to desperately and pathetically win her love. I ended up losing my EMT license after the entire ordeal. Then I went into software engineering and because I became desperate after trying to find a woman without a romantic past (after realizing being a woman's first love was more important than taking her virginity), I managed to get myself into an even more troublesome situation. I ended up getting kicked out of the software engineering community and being blacklisted all around town.

I finally managed to find the love of my life, and we are now married. We are each other's first real relationship. I regret all my stupidity from the past, but how as it stands, I am 31 years old and barely leave the house. Now I just collect disability.

I never had anyone have my back, growing up, and i recognized that my lack of allies meant I'd be seen as an easy target, so I got really big, and I'd never fight fair.

For instance, one kid started a fight with me and threw a few punches, I smashed my elbow into his jaw as hard as I could and threw him down. As he got up, I lifted my right leg up and stomped his face onto the wood floor as hard as I could, forcing him to lay there.

Needless to say, nobody put their hands on me again for quite a while when they saw that. I did this because I felt if I can't protect myself with numbers, if I engage in such cruel methods of self defense which leave the opponent hurt so much worse than me, people will be too afraid of me to try that again.

Medication I had to take to survive also made my fingernails grow very fast, I used this to my advantage. For instance, one girl tried to cut the line to sign out for the bathroom. She grabbed the pen, I sank my nails deep into her hand and slid them down, forming a gash in her hand. This made her let go and recoil, calling me insane as she observed her bleeding hand.

I hated this girl all my life, she had a big mouth and thought she could screw with me because she was tall, this incident reminded her that while she's 6'1", she weighed well under 100 pounds and I was already 180 pounds and lean at that point.

I did this because I believed i could never let anyone have even the tiniest little inch, or others will see it and think I'm an easy target cause I had no friends. She tried to cut me in front of the class, so I stood up for myself and let it be known to everyone that I will not tolerate even the smallest bit of messing with me.

As for those who tried to physically bully me, I never bothered fighting fair, I'd claw at their eyes with my long, curved fingernails if I was in a headlock. On many cases, I put my nails into their eyes before they let go, horrified at my brutal methods. How did you do?