Top Ten Reasons He Is Going To Break Up With You!

Here are my top ten reasons he is going to break up with you!


10. Bad sex

This seems to me to be the most preventable one of the 10! See my entry on are you a dead fish in bed?

I once had bad sex and that relationship lasted about a week! However to be really honest I have often put up with bad sex to be with someone I loved. It eventually led to a break up because I was too unsatisfied in this area. Here is where the problem lies… I didn’t tell her. I broke up with her instead of making my needs clear. Could you be in the same boat? Is your boy hiding his dissatisfaction from you?

9. Jealousy

Fascinating topic!! I really look forward to writing a series about this. This is so multifaceted but here it is in a nutshell. Most jealousy is a product of normal insecurity with a curious damaging side effect. It often leads to really good sex. This is an EXCELLENT way to create more jealousy! Just feed it good sex! Want more good sex? Find a way to be jealous… Soon the two are linked like Rodney King and the LAPD.

So why would this lead to a breakup? Because it creates bad energy and eventually you need to escape it but the addiction is already in place. I had to use rat poison and small explosives to get out a similar situation.
"When the 2 of you snap out of your disgusting gooey love cocoon, you realize you have no life!"

8. Too wrapped up in one another

This happens more often to young couples than to older ones. Younger couples are more susceptible because they don’t have a clear identity yet. Older couples are not so needy and can function without being each others' parasite.

Why does this lead to a break up? Because when the two of you snap out of your disgusting gooey love cocoon, you realize that you have no life!

Friends have new friends now and even your dog won’t talk to you. Once he starts to miss his other life he often throws the baby out with the bathwater and you find yourself with a breakup TOTALLY out of the blue.

7. He is too insecure about the relationship

This happens when he thinks you are too good for him. Hard to identify but if it is there LOOK OUT! Girls and guys deal with this type of insecurity often in very different ways. Guys tend to have verbal diarrhea a bit more. You will hear things like this “Well I am not the one with the law degree!” add forced laugh in a very unfunny situation.

Or how about this “why don’t you just go find some football player!” once again the stupid smile and fake laugh. Jeeze! Just because you dated a 7 foot 400lb linebacker with a penis like a donkey’s. What is his problem!??? Well, it is his problem but you didn’t have to tell him about the ex’s resemblance to farm animals. If he is too insecure he will find a reason to get out and blame it on you.
Gogus olculeri

6. Not growing together

I hate this one because it is the number two reason I struggle in relationships. When you meet someone you are typically at a similar stage in life. This means you are relatively congruent but this congruency does not often last. Imagine you are both saplings grown towards the sun. You are aggressively growing towards the light! but he is stoned on the couch with the Costco size bag of Doritos.

When you first met you would have been right there with him holding the dip but now your life calls and he is in the way. Since we mirror the people we spend time with, the ones that do not lift up our values are often despised and disposed of. Equal and similar growth is necessary for all relationships (even friendships). IF NOT a break up in inevitable. (This was supposed to be why he was going to leave you but I thought it would be more fun to make him the loser)

5. You are no longer in the honeymoon stage

Have you ever met a born again Christian? I have been one once and let me tell you they are endearing and obnoxious to an extreme. They have a twinkle in their eyes of love and acceptance but expect a torrent of righteous disapproval if you jay-walk!! Eventually this New religious zealot will calm down and either become a more reasonable christian or… wake up one day saying “what the hell was in that kool-aid!??” This is what often happens to relationships.

However unlike the B.A.C.s (born again C), the person in love really did drink the kool-aid and is drugged to the gills. What, you say? Drugged? Yes!! You know it is true, when you have been madly in love you are not yourself, you are an obsessive crazy person that literally is drugged. The drug of choice is called Oxytocin, the same hormone that makes a new mother DEARLY love her bright red covered in slime newborn infant. Oxytocin is released by the brain in copious quantities when you are in love BUT at one point the production slows to a trickle.

What now? Well like the B.A.C. you start to question things and if the relationship is not yet built on firmer ground than “love” it is going to wash away, and you will be left single once again.

4. He is tired of you trying to get him to change

I would like to make this on number one just because it is personally so frustrating to me! I usually am completely on the girls side but this time I am going to give the women a blasting! Guys don’t tend to do this, they pick a girl and generally take what they get or move on. WOMEN on the other hand pick a guy and see potential. It is almost as if he is a fixer upper. Yeah, the porch is a bit saggy and the outside could use some paint but by-golly I think I’ll buy it.
"Don’t buy a Yugo and add racing stripes to it."
I have had this happen to me a 1000 times over and watched it happen to good friends constantly. Bryce once went out with a professional tri-athlete. An real man of a woman that tried her damnedest to get the trucker/cop like Bryce to become the next Lance Armstrong. Bryce dumped her quite quickly to the applause of his friends.

This is probably the single most ANNOYING female trait I can think of. Save yourself some trouble, pick the fricken car you want. Don’t buy a damn Yugo and add racing stripes to it.

3. You are overly emotional or depressed

Number two most annoying female trait. Yeah I know that guys suffer from this too but because I am a nice guy with nice friends I don’t see this so often. Unfortunately nice guys tend to draw this kind of women and vice versa. I break down personalities into two groups, fire (aggressive) and water (passive). Fire and fire are not a good combo, they generally create more fire and will eventually burn down the house. Water and water are awful as well and will be so dull they will soak into the carpet. Overly emotional and depressed women generally have fire personalities and they look for a watery male to balance their flames.

Unfortunately water can only take so much fire until is boils, turns into steam and evaporates out of your life. No one can take a constant emotional pounding, NO ONE. If you don’t address this issue and take radical measures to calm your flames you will be alone or in highly dysfunctional relationships the rest of your life.



2. Fear of commitment or he feels trapped

Every women knows this one intimately. The guy that just can’t commit, the ones that will commit are generally spineless and not very desirable, the ones that wont you really want to posses. We can all make stabs at why men are this way but it does not really matter, they are and you can’t easily change this. Focus instead on what you want, to get a guy to commit without scaring him away. Have you ever seen one of those cat traps? It is a cage with a door on one side and in the middle is food, when the cat touches the food the door slams shut and the cat goes BALLISTIC.

Do you see where I am going with this? A man is terrified he will lose his ability to roam but at the same time that food looks awfully good!! The trick is getting a man to walk into your trap and make it his home but so many women slam the door of commitment too soon and he will do almost anything to get out.
Reasons he is going to break up with you
  • He is dissatisfied sexually
  • He is insecure
  • The honeymoon has ended
  • You're trying too hard to change him
  • He feels trapped
  • You don't feel you deserve a good relationship

1. You sabotaged the relationship

And the number one reason!!! You sabotaged it!! This is without a shadow of a doubt the number one reason he is going to break up with you. Women sabotage for one simple reason, they don’t feel they deserve a good relationship or the guy they are with. This is the most insidious reason for a guy to break up with you since it was never his fault (well his fault for choosing you!).

This is SOO hard to identify since you make it seem like he is the one with all of the problems. The truth of the matter is that you are subconsciously creating an uncomfortable environment for him to be in because YOU want out. Part of why this is so insidious is that it absolves you of guilt! You put so much pressure on him that he looks like the asshole for leaving you and you can say one more time. “Men are such scum sucking pigs!! I am never going to date again!!”

Before you say this cliché again I want you to take a very very long hard look at yourself. Have you been responsible for this in the past? Are you going to be responsible for it in the future? If you can answer yes to these even a little bit it might be time to do some serious digging and figure out the roots of your non deserving.

Breaking Up:
  • Almost all of the reasons for breakup can be condensed down to one key concept - The balance of power was off and you or he didn’t fix it until it was too late

  • When going through a breakup it is NEVER productive to be right, the only person that you can change and grow is you

  • After a breakup forgive yourself, next forgive him and thank him for helping you prepare for the next far better relationship

About the Author

Mike Masters writes a blog for women about relationships at MikeTheMasterDater.com. Traveling the world and dating every single girl he met along the way allowed Mike to make an uncountable number of mistakes in relationships. These mistakes led to a fluency in the psychology of dating that could only be gained from radical immersion.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ummm I TOTALLY DISAGREE with #10 ......Guys: If you were having good sex with a chic you were with, yet she treated you very badly, would you still stay with her?!!!!! -I certainly wouldn't. Sex is a lame reason to break it off with someone- friendship & caring is VERY important too you know!!!

    I also STRONGLY DISAGREE with #3 - Guys: If you had a sensitive girlfriend you would dump her?! I would rather have someone who is sensitive and caring rather than have someone who is a pig. Also, what if the emotional chic h

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well its not your problem but just because it isn't you're problem does mean you have to be a jerk about it

    and pink 333, if the chick has been through a lot in their life then it take the right type of guy with a good amount of patience to make the relationship work, my girlfriend isn't a drama queen but she is a little more to the sensitive side but I lover her and I'm willing to just be more careful so don't take what one guy said for what we all think

    however, great job mike, a great article

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Join the discussion

What Girls Said 19

  • Very well written article.

    I liked all of them, except for No.10. I think that only applies to men who are sex perfectionists. lol.

    As for 9 - 1, I think it applies to both men and women. Soooo... your title should have been "10 reasons relationships fail" :p

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  • "The guy that just can?t commit, the ones that will commit are generally spineless and not very desirable, the ones that won't you really want to posses" I think this sums up all relationships -- if women don't want to get dumped, she has to learn to live with the ones she doesn't want to be with. If he's not one of those, you're not getting him.

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  • Very good article!the only thing I can see not happening sometimes is 3.My friend is cute, not traditionally what you would call "hot" but very cute, But she is probably the most emotional person in the world,but even when she was telling a bunch of people about being sucidle many guys were in love with her even though she was way over the top emotional. I thought I was emotional but because of her I found out I was normal.She even has to take pills for it and I know a bunch of guys who love her

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  • Okay this is the most stupidest post I've so far have seen... All those things you mentioned are bullsh*t. If a guy is ready to commit, he WILL commit. Whether he's afraid or not. If he's not committing to anything you just mentioned, obviously he's not in love. That's just my two cents...

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  • I think this was well thought out and very well written with good supporting evidence. Now if only we would learn to change our behavior instead of repeating patterns. Thanks.

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  • I think that even though women don't want to admit it we do most of those things on the list sometimes without even knowing it till its too late. very well written. as a woman I have to hate you (joke) but as a person I commend u.

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  • Wow thank you for this great article Mike! Question regarding #1: Would phrases like "I don't deserve you! You deserve much better than me!" be a re-occuing tendancy in relationships/breakups?

    Thanks:)

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  • Well, how sad is that.... My boyfriend broke up with me 3 days ago, and completely "out of the blue". I say that because I'm so in love and nothing seemed that bad at ALL. It turns out that 6 out of 10 of these reasons apply to my relationship... making it all the more clear that it's ME not him. Thank you for posting this, because as depressed and crushed as I am right now.. I know that in order to stop these negative patterns I need to work on myself in hopes of finding healthy love.

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  • mine of 5 years just broke up with me...and when you mentioned #7, it def rang some bells. he was always making comments like that... and the funny thing is I NEVER talked about my exes... he's just insecure and always has been...since we broke up now IM insecure, he has all the power and I'm lost because he can't make up his mind whether he wants to be with me or not!

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  • Well I hate to tell you but you forgot one reason. And it was a big one.

    and I disagree on the female things becasuse I was very emontional and depressed and tried to get him to change and messed with car picking out or whatever you said. And he didn't leave, we are actually getting married.

    so mr. smarty pants your wrong!!!!

    and the one you forgot is:

    HE'S OR SHE'S JUST NOT IN TO YOU.

    OR

    THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE!

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  • I really like this article. In regards to # 1 it is really hard to get to the bottom of your issues and change no matter how self aware you are and sometimes you can realize things too late as I did in my relationship - after 2 years I felt that I had done enough work to increase my

    low self esteem or 'wiring defaults' as I would put it, then fell in love with my boyfriend of two years and by then it was too late as he had already made up his mind to leave me so that brought me back down! pis

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  • ter help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problems to him.. he cast a spell for me and assure me of 24hr that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my peter came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you Dr Trust spell, you are truly talented and gifted contact his email: doctorbalaya@gmail. com

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  • my husband was always cheating on me and even spends nights out. sometimes he even leave for the entire week end, pretending that he has work, but i know he just go meet women, my life was lame until, i asked robinsonbuckler@yahoo. com to cast a spell for me. so that my husband can be a good man and after his spell, my husband changed automatically, he now spends much more time with me and the kids and we're a family again,

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  • This guys articles always rock. seriously he is so damn insightful

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  • The reason I was given? That the uncertainty he had when he was deciding to ask me out finally caught up to him. I reread emails from before and there definitely was uncertainty.

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  • Wowo.. Noww I finally get why I do what I do...

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  • *Also what if the emotional chic has been thru a lot in her life?

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  • Mister mike I love ur articles =]

    they are so well written

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  • Yeah sorry but I'm not digging this. its basically bashing woman.

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What Guys Said 12

  • It works the other way too... I've had two girls break up with me because my penis skin was dry and nasty. This is a pretty common issue I have learned, so now I make sure I use one of those penis health cremes every morning. It keeps my penis skin in great shape.. totally easy to use and safe too. Keep this in mind, fellas.

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  • Hey Mike, this was a good article and all, but in all honesty it probably won't help too many women. Most women- err, most people actually, who would find this article useful are the very same people who are close-minded and wouldn't accept the fact that they are the ones ruining the relationship.

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  • 10,7 and 2 are the mans issues,not the woman.Anyone with emotional issues is not ready for a relationship.Communication is key,expecting a woman to read our minds is ridiculous.Bad sex,talk to her about it,not only her fault,your fault also.Insecure?Get out of a relationship and fix those issues

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  • Semi Shy...

    This is what is called a spice post. It is designed to stir things up a bit. I have a similar post on my site and I have gotten very good feedback from it. I think it might make people a little angry on GAG because the audience is younger. But wow! look how many times it has been viewed!

    Spicy!

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  • Forgot: You're not reciprocating any love, affection, or lust.

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  • Doesnt*

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  • Sorry I hit a nerve with you!

    I honestly hope you have a fantastic marriage. My aim is only to help women and men understand themselves better.

    Take care.

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  • Hey Thanks! Appreciate the comment and I hope you come visit my blog or add me to face book

    Talk to you soon.

    Mike

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  • That was not my intention!

    Sometimes you have to look at what is negative to get closer to the positive.

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  • Hahaha!

    There is a big difference between the truth and liking the truth.

    If you are an emotional mess and no fun to be around, I don't care if you were traumatized by a steam roller. Why is that my problem?

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  • 1 and 3 apply. I will do my best to comfort a girl, I really will but it can get to a point where I'm not the one to help you, a psychiatrist is.

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  • Damn! I am insightful!

    I like that!

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