Time Heals, Does It? Nope, It's You

[Anonymous]

I will start with a story about my own personal experience. I met a guy, we fell in love - or at least I thought so, then he broke my heart. A simple and very shortened version of this so typical love story.

I knew he was the one who did wrong, but yet somehow I always came up with ideas about what I should have done different. It was bad and stupid. I just couldn't help the feeling that I knew he couldn't mean to hurt me that bad! He couldn't, he loved me, I felt it and he also told me he knew there was a special connection between us.

The guy told me all these things because he wanted to be held, he was never loved in his past. He was never really evil, but he wasn't good for me either. He always hurt me. Not physically but mentally. Yet I understood him too well. I understand him still somehow. He never lets me fully go. But he never lets me very close.

Now when I want to move on, I just can't. I want to but ni matter how strong I stay how long I wait, the feelings stays.

People always tell us "time heals!", I always thought it does. I believed them, because time always had done its' job. Now I haven't felt any help in time passing by, me doing things I love, being with close people and new people. None of these he along things helps. I am dissapointed. And we are talking about years - and tears - now.

Life is often dissapointing, so it isn't anything new. But I thought that you could get over these dissapointments. Sometimes I think I am over him, but more often not.

I have read about people who still miss and love their ex after ten years, why? What is the point of longing for someone that is clearly not coming back? Maybe the problem with this guy I love is that he always tries to come back. And I would want to welcome him, if he just made more effort to stay.

I think people should realize they are happy even when they are alone. I have realized it myself. I thought it would help me in this situation. Maybe one morning I will wake up and realize I really don't even want him anymore because I am happy now and he never made me happy more than temporary.

The only thing that helps you move on, is to not even try to let go. To realize life goes on even if your heart belongs to someone that left you. To just pull yourself together and smile like a rebel. Because you aren't healed but you still know how to live.

Time doesn't heal, you just get stronger.

[molls_]

I understand how you feel honesty because i felt the same way for a few years. I cried myself to sleep for months, no matter how much i tried to get over it i couldn't. I remember i tried to ignore my feelings and just focus on working 40+ hours a week, pushing 12 hours days, 6days a week, i tried everything to avoid dealing with the reality of the breakup. I tried dating, drinking to numb the pain, find comfort in a strangers arm but it all blew up on me at the end.

I entered a depression.
I tried to hide it as much as possible, hid my feelings, acted like everything was fine while i tore up on the inside. It took me years to work to those kinks, i worked on me and slowly repaired my self esteem. I stayed busy. i created small goals to achieve and like the saying goes" time heals every wound,". Meanwhile time is passing and we are living, exploring, getting to know each other all over again, we discover who we are now, the new us, and we learn that we have become stronger from all the hurt.

[serious]

"Time heals all wounds"

Well even I don't believe in that sentence 100%, some part of the sentence may be true, but I what I think is time may heal your wounds but the scars will still be left, it may fade with time but will never really go away completely.

[myTake Owner]

Yeah, but I am thinking it is not the time it self. It is the things you do on that time that makes the difference.

[Anonymous]

I loved him. I asked, what if I'm falling for you. He didn't say it back more like why can't we just keep talking?
I lost like 25 pounds and just a heartbroken person my heart aches, I tested the hell out of my eyes... Music was stupid as fuck... Had to go to 70 or 80, s more stupid love. I literally have betray on my face and everyone noticed they didn't even know he was my secret. One last thing I slept for days months... Woke up blurred out. 160 days later counting still. But I am healed. The scars are there little but scars and go away... I shall pass this memory one day. ... Sigh

[Opinion Owner]

basically , it's no use draining my self aha aha aha really there al more good looking bad men out there but so charming aha. Why I never go back to him cause there's literally shit written all of the walls and mirrors cracked

[myTake Owner]

Oh, I understand :( I hate men who do this. Today I just got a shitty text from the guy who has messed me all over again, now I am sure I am done with him. He is pure evil. I can't even cry anymore. I'll block him everywhere from now on.

[Opinion Owner]

O no. You must DND or block. I did took hard week but he knows he gots you ain't that a terrible feelings? You will be okay!!! Please do not see him he might just flip you off I seen it once happen to my good girl she was broken also but happy and her self. They didn't date lo now I hear his nuts burn and penis. May I ask you what he said to you evil?

[myTake Owner]

He kinda said he wanted to start a relationship with me even though he always said he wasn't able to do it. Then now after a week he texted me a quote about him going to screw his life up on his own and he doesn't need any girlfriend for that. Even if I knew he was gonna make this turn, 'cause he never even tried to work things, this text just hurt me. I was hurt and he didn't even understand when I expressed it, he just laughed to it. So twisted. I told him he will never get further in his life if he won't take any risks, and told him goodbye forever. He just replied: so dramatic.
Then I blocked him. Well, I guess it was dramatic, but that's how things between us have always been. Painful and dramatic. Usually he wants to be the drama queen and put the blame on me somehow. He just thinks I won't leave him, but I can do it and I will. That is the only way for me to get further in life. He has hurt me enough.

[Lostsoulman]

"Stop trying, He is happy without you"

I call b. s on that line...

I know my ex, I saw my ex... I love her... But last time I saw her, I started laughing with my friends, ignored her and she saw...

She probrally thinks that above... but I still have a lot of feelings for her, she really hurt me... I wish she would make an effort to say sorry and try to talk to me... So you never really know what is actually going on in someones mind

[myTake Owner]

I know, you are right. This doesn't apply to everyone, but for those who have been hurt.
I am hurt and I never got an apology, he never really tried.
There is always that moment when we meet somewhere when we both have just stare at each other and wonder what to do/say. He always waves at me first and starts talking about stuff that really doesn't even mean anything. Then the moment passes and I try to walk away.
It still hurts, you know, to look at him and try to just act normal. I gave already given up on the feelings but nothing really changes.

[Lostsoulman]

Yes It doesn't apply in all cases...

I kinda feel the same way as you...

If she just made one effort to try, one effort to try and apologize or even just try to be honest and talking to me... I would talk to her...

Otherwise I feel like she doesn't care enough about me... So I shouldn't care about her either...

I have to see her quite often as well, almost everyday...

We used to talk so much... then it was just a "good morning" with deep eye contact... and now we don't look or talk to each other at all... I have thought about just spilling my guts, but I get really anxious and feel like there is no point...

It's been over a year, and my heart still hearts and aches everyday... I try to be strong, "move on", "Let time heal" but it's true... That's all a lie...

Maybe I might meet another girl one day who makes me forget about her, I think that's the only way... and it feels like that won't happen soon...

[myTake Owner]

Hey, I have been through this process a few times with this guy. "He just never learns!" I thought... but the truth is: I didn't.
Now I have seen it and accept the fact that some people aren't good for you. Like: he was good for me the small time he made the effort and made it sound like everything was great and we were gonna marry and shit. But when he suddenly turned his back and told me he could never be in a serious relationship, then the pain began.

I went through this a few times and it took three years of my life. But now I finally see light in the end of the tunnel; I still have those feelings, yeah, but I am happy. I see potential in other guys and I don't think about him 24/7 with my heart aching.
The only thing that has helped is probably facing the truth, walking past him without saying anything... just realizing the feelings for him was real from my side and they were good... but that those moments and feelings are in the past and you can take it as a good memory.

[myTake Owner]

cdn.boldomatic.com/.../Always-remember-you-re-someone-s-reason-to-smile-c
Sarcastic pictures/quotes like this also helps a lot.
This one makes me think of the guy and I don't feel bad. Maybe just a little...
This is a better one:
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...e04688ed33.jpg

[Lostsoulman]

Sounds like you have learned a lot from him and realized you need to move on…

That is the first step… Don’t rush into meeting someone and take time for yourself…

That really sucks, Three years you were with him and he decided he didn’t want to marry… That must have really hurt for you 
You walk past him a lot? Why is that? Live close to each other?

Feel free to send me a Direct Message; I would love to talk to you more if you feel like it 

I like your sarcastic quote… Harsh but funny...

[myTake Owner]

I never really rush... but I have always something going on. 😄
Not really three years of dating... it was more like: half a year, then he dissappeared and I was like: fuck it
Then almost a year of getting over him, with no process 'cause he kept contacting me and we had something on off
Then him begging for me to forgive him for months, then maybe some week of him pretending to be serious about it now. Just to turn it around and throw it in my face.
Then he tried still go on like nothing had happened and had the guts to wonder: why are you mad?
He knew.
He knew. But he never apologized. But he kept contacting me every once in a while... I just had had enough. I just had to accept he isn'the gonna change.

[Lostsoulman]

Sounds like a lot of miscommunication, Maybe some people aren't ment to communicate...

It's good you have something going on :)

I am not trying to defend him, but again like I said before... It's really hard to say what was actually happening with him...

You can't over think though, just accept that it didn't work out and leave it up to god/universe/world/fate...

Was that you who sent me a follow request? Or someone else?

[missaya]

www. saymeet~. com/?2227

[myTake Owner]

Hey, he has tried to contact me many times, but I didn't reply much. This week he started doing it more so I got annoyed and replied with a long message where I explained the situation to him. He understood and he started to explain himself. It was actually a misunderstanding and he had never meant it as he made it sound. Now we are considering a relationship, so who knows. Maybe. But if he continues this weird on/off thing I am not gonna wait for him to grow up.

[Lostsoulman]

Wow, Yes. Take things slow, and see what happens... If it was a misunderstanding then things will be good... If not, the sane things will happen and you will know that your guys communication is just not compatible. best of luck to you, feel free to talk anytime.

[myTake Owner]

Well, I guess he is testing if he is gonna lose his freedom if he starts a relationship with me. So I'll see what he has to offer me. And I really have no rush, this time I won't judge things too fast, if he doesn't. Thanks for your support!

[Lostsoulman]

You are welcome!

I hope things work out for the best! Just let things happen naturally!

[myTake Owner]

Haha, read our "convo" now again... and I have to say I am surprised how messy this is. I was so sure it would work out that time, but he kept low profile, until he texted me with a picture saying something like " I am single because I am capable of messing my life by myself"

It was no surprise, that's what he does. He talks me into it and makes all this effort for nothing. I told him goodbyes this time. I blocked him. I had already asked him to be just my friend but he did only want a relationship... so When he again said he wanted to be single I had no other choice than to block him. Luckily I haven't ran into him. I have heard from him once or twicentre through an app, but then I blocked him there too.
I think I am over him. I can't say that for sure, because every time I have said so I have let him back into my life. Now I really hope I will be wiser.

[Stacyzee]

It's definitely a cliche quote.

The thing is that quotes apply to some people. It's never a true for all. It would be merely impossible.

But I really hope eventually you do get over the hurt you are feeling , you deserve happiness.

[myTake Owner]

Thank you for your kind words. :)

[lovely_girl]

Thank you so much for making this post! Finally someone tells it how people really see / feel it. Time doesn't really heal... it just keeps going. :)

[myTake Owner]

I'm glad to hear you liked it! 😊👍

[thomas444]

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contact him igbajesolutionpalace@gmail. com

[missaya]

www. s~aymeet. com/?2227

[Pedro_N]

Na mouche! We can't run a clock when it keeps going counterclockwise. The best way is indeed to work on yourself and go out and try new things like you stated.

Good take :)

[mingming]

Time can change a person, a life without a destination

[myTake Owner]

That again is not time it self it is the progress you make. That is you who do what you need to do. Nothing to do with how much time passed doing it.