Time Heals, Does It? Nope, It's You

I will start with a story about my own personal experience. I met a guy, we fell in love - or at least I thought so, then he broke my heart. A simple and very shortened version of this so typical love story.

I knew he was the one who did wrong, but yet somehow I always came up with ideas about what I should have done different. It was bad and stupid. I just couldn't help the feeling that I knew he couldn't mean to hurt me that bad! He couldn't, he loved me, I felt it and he also told me he knew there was a special connection between us.

The guy told me all these things because he wanted to be held, he was never loved in his past. He was never really evil, but he wasn't good for me either. He always hurt me. Not physically but mentally. Yet I understood him too well. I understand him still somehow. He never lets me fully go. But he never lets me very close.

Now when I want to move on, I just can't. I want to but ni matter how strong I stay how long I wait, the feelings stays.

People always tell us "time heals!", I always thought it does. I believed them, because time always had done its' job. Now I haven't felt any help in time passing by, me doing things I love, being with close people and new people. None of these he along things helps. I am dissapointed. And we are talking about years - and tears - now.

Life is often dissapointing, so it isn't anything new. But I thought that you could get over these dissapointments. Sometimes I think I am over him, but more often not.

I have read about people who still miss and love their ex after ten years, why? What is the point of longing for someone that is clearly not coming back? Maybe the problem with this guy I love is that he always tries to come back. And I would want to welcome him, if he just made more effort to stay.

I think people should realize they are happy even when they are alone. I have realized it myself. I thought it would help me in this situation. Maybe one morning I will wake up and realize I really don't even want him anymore because I am happy now and he never made me happy more than temporary.

The only thing that helps you move on, is to not even try to let go. To realize life goes on even if your heart belongs to someone that left you. To just pull yourself together and smile like a rebel. Because you aren't healed but you still know how to live.

Time doesn't heal, you just get stronger.


6|2
45

Most Helpful Guy

  • "Time heals all wounds"

    Well even I don't believe in that sentence 100%, some part of the sentence may be true, but I what I think is time may heal your wounds but the scars will still be left, it may fade with time but will never really go away completely.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Yeah, but I am thinking it is not the time it self. It is the things you do on that time that makes the difference.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I understand how you feel honesty because i felt the same way for a few years. I cried myself to sleep for months, no matter how much i tried to get over it i couldn't. I remember i tried to ignore my feelings and just focus on working 40+ hours a week, pushing 12 hours days, 6days a week, i tried everything to avoid dealing with the reality of the breakup. I tried dating, drinking to numb the pain, find comfort in a strangers arm but it all blew up on me at the end.

    I entered a depression.
    I tried to hide it as much as possible, hid my feelings, acted like everything was fine while i tore up on the inside. It took me years to work to those kinks, i worked on me and slowly repaired my self esteem. I stayed busy. i created small goals to achieve and like the saying goes" time heals every wound,". Meanwhile time is passing and we are living, exploring, getting to know each other all over again, we discover who we are now, the new us, and we learn that we have become stronger from all the hurt.

    3|2
    0|0

Join the discussion

What Guys Said 4

  • Na mouche! We can't run a clock when it keeps going counterclockwise. The best way is indeed to work on yourself and go out and try new things like you stated.

    Good take :)

    1|0
    0|0
  • "Stop trying, He is happy without you"

    I call b. s on that line...

    I know my ex, I saw my ex... I love her... But last time I saw her, I started laughing with my friends, ignored her and she saw...

    She probrally thinks that above... but I still have a lot of feelings for her, she really hurt me... I wish she would make an effort to say sorry and try to talk to me... So you never really know what is actually going on in someones mind

    1|0
    0|0
    • I know, you are right. This doesn't apply to everyone, but for those who have been hurt.
      I am hurt and I never got an apology, he never really tried.
      There is always that moment when we meet somewhere when we both have just stare at each other and wonder what to do/say. He always waves at me first and starts talking about stuff that really doesn't even mean anything. Then the moment passes and I try to walk away.
      It still hurts, you know, to look at him and try to just act normal. I gave already given up on the feelings but nothing really changes.

    • Show All
    • You are welcome!

      I hope things work out for the best! Just let things happen naturally!

    • Haha, read our "convo" now again... and I have to say I am surprised how messy this is. I was so sure it would work out that time, but he kept low profile, until he texted me with a picture saying something like " I am single because I am capable of messing my life by myself"

      It was no surprise, that's what he does. He talks me into it and makes all this effort for nothing. I told him goodbyes this time. I blocked him. I had already asked him to be just my friend but he did only want a relationship... so When he again said he wanted to be single I had no other choice than to block him. Luckily I haven't ran into him. I have heard from him once or twicentre through an app, but then I blocked him there too.
      I think I am over him. I can't say that for sure, because every time I have said so I have let him back into my life. Now I really hope I will be wiser.

  • some months back, my lovely wife left me, i was not ready for a divorce because i loved my wife, i almost lost everything i had until a friend introduced me to man in Africa, i had no choice, i contacted this man through is email igbajesolutionpalace@gmail. com. he ask me some question about myself and told me he will help me that i should give him days, in 3 days my wife came to me, i am living happily with my wife now. please contact him, he can help you no matter the problem, he can help you get your life back
    contact him igbajesolutionpalace@gmail. com

    0|0
    0|0
  • Time can change a person, a life without a destination

    0|0
    0|0
    • That again is not time it self it is the progress you make. That is you who do what you need to do. Nothing to do with how much time passed doing it.

What Girls Said 3

  • It's definitely a cliche quote.

    The thing is that quotes apply to some people. It's never a true for all. It would be merely impossible.

    But I really hope eventually you do get over the hurt you are feeling , you deserve happiness.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Thank you for your kind words. :)

  • Thank you so much for making this post! Finally someone tells it how people really see / feel it. Time doesn't really heal... it just keeps going. :)

    2|0
    0|0
    • I'm glad to hear you liked it! 😊👍

  • I loved him. I asked, what if I'm falling for you. He didn't say it back more like why can't we just keep talking?
    I lost like 25 pounds and just a heartbroken person my heart aches, I tested the hell out of my eyes... Music was stupid as fuck... Had to go to 70 or 80, s more stupid love. I literally have betray on my face and everyone noticed they didn't even know he was my secret. One last thing I slept for days months... Woke up blurred out. 160 days later counting still. But I am healed. The scars are there little but scars and go away... I shall pass this memory one day. ... Sigh

    1|0
    0|0
    • basically , it's no use draining my self aha aha aha really there al more good looking bad men out there but so charming aha. Why I never go back to him cause there's literally shit written all of the walls and mirrors cracked

    • Show All
    • O no. You must DND or block. I did took hard week but he knows he gots you ain't that a terrible feelings? You will be okay!!! Please do not see him he might just flip you off I seen it once happen to my good girl she was broken also but happy and her self. They didn't date lo now I hear his nuts burn and penis. May I ask you what he said to you evil?

    • He kinda said he wanted to start a relationship with me even though he always said he wasn't able to do it. Then now after a week he texted me a quote about him going to screw his life up on his own and he doesn't need any girlfriend for that. Even if I knew he was gonna make this turn, 'cause he never even tried to work things, this text just hurt me. I was hurt and he didn't even understand when I expressed it, he just laughed to it. So twisted. I told him he will never get further in his life if he won't take any risks, and told him goodbye forever. He just replied: so dramatic.
      Then I blocked him. Well, I guess it was dramatic, but that's how things between us have always been. Painful and dramatic. Usually he wants to be the drama queen and put the blame on me somehow. He just thinks I won't leave him, but I can do it and I will. That is the only way for me to get further in life. He has hurt me enough.

Loading...