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My real father was abusive and never pay child support or anything. Never seen him again ever. So... yep.
that's awful to hear, if dad's only knew how important they are. I'm sorry, not your fault he had problems.
After reading number 5, who knows?
Yeah, thank you @lightbulb27 yeah it’s awful to hear. My Dad doesn’t really care about how important. I hope it’s not my fault.
@Aiko_E_Lara who knows 🤷🏻♀️ my mum told me that my dad doesn’t want to pay child support and he doesn’t want to see me ever.
Welp cool story. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Presumption_of_innocence
Just because she tell you things doesn't mean it's like that.
To many manipulative people tell their children thing's that isn't entirely accurate because they have some revenge going on (an agenda) about something that didn't go their way.
(little to comon amongst females. have witness it to many times as a bystander, they even tried to make me a part of the revenge)
The best thing is to look him up yourself without your mother knowing about it.
No, I wouldn’t look him up myself without my mother knowing about it because that would be betraying her and my Dad was abusing her also during me in her belly pregnancy to tried kill her. @crazy8000
Why is it betrayal?
Do you run everything by your mouth to get approval?
Because my mother gave me everything foods, clothes and anything for me but my Dad never give me anything. @crazy8000
You have never thought of that's the meaning to alienation.
To use your gratitude feelings to have control.
The whole thing gives little to many red flag's.
@Annie12234 not your fault, I would never blame a baby for an adults emotional problems... he has his issues. He may have been abandoned, so he did the same. Curious for you, do you have symptoms of not trusting others, expecting others to know what you need without asking, not knowing your own needs, feeling numb, believing others are more important, not trusting others to come through, not wanting to touch or wanting it excessively, joyless sexual touching (no joy in it... numb), unwilling to disclose self-information especially negative?
I guess the important part is you see through that you have value and gifts to give. Learning that the wounds you received are not the real you, put projections onto you, helps to set free of what is not yours so you can grow... like a tree that hasn't shown it's fruit yet, you may have only seen glimmers of the gifts that dwell within.
I myself had experienced this kind of thing before, not as the father, but as the child, it is appalling how biased the court system is against men, and it was not even my mother who was trying to take advantage of the system.
The question isn't about kids to me. Now myself I got sad depressed I wondered if I caused our divorce. i could have my kid anytime I chose to we shared never fought over it I paid child support its expected. Then my son turned 14 i got custody i didn't get support. Didn't need it.
It reminds me of how black men get incarcerated in the U. S. prison system just so the state can use them as free labour. It's functional slavery, the state only wants men to work and pay taxes until we drop dead.
My mom stayed with my father for my brothers and my sake... but.. it hasn't been a dream lol.. oh well.. at least he doesn't talk to me all the time.. that's a perk!
i have divorced once but I didn't have kids with her.
Otherwise my big problem would be if the kids were really young, having them call the new guy, "Dad."
I don't think that happens very much.
Thats good. but now my kids are aware who their Dad is
The first wife walked out on us, it made things easy in respects. Everything was in my name do sold up and bought a house where I could work from home. The daughters thought it was great there not being there her being such disruptive force...
Yeah I think that the kids should be left out of a divorse completely. If he wants to spend time with his kids then it should be 50/50 joint custody. And this abandoning bullshit, guys get this all the time and all they want is to leave the wife not the kids. And by the time he's to that point he's ready to strangle her ass. So it's either leave or kill a bitch literally.
I don't know anything about this subject. But thank you for inviting me.
I lived it. I don't think it's 100% fair the way things are. I have always been present for my kids and had to pay expenses. E. g. I had to pay for vacations in Panama when I could not afford a week off work.
Sadly, I have known many fathers who have gone through this and they have all suffered from some or all of what you wrote about here.
I've been all of this happen to men in my country. I've even heard of a man who had to pay child support when the child wasn't even his.
My parents split up when I was born and he only came around to pay childfare. As for my daugthers farther if I had it my way I would write him of her birth cerficate.
sorry that happend to you maybe it was for the best
@justcurious2019 Dont make me laugh, the whole time she was pregnant he made fun of her belly.
sorry
it an be good or bad depending on if you both don't see eye to eye on what's best for kids
Yes its all true. Child support is enforced by state but no one enforces visitation
It is not that bad. If it was, men would stop marrying.
This applies to all fathers, not just ones that were married.
That is true and more so now than 40 years ago. Nevertheless, getting unmarried men to pay is less likely since often the women can only guess who the father is and, even if they know, they likely will name someone else with a higher income. However, the men are going to demand DNA testing.
True facts because divorce and separation suck.
These are some good points
This is why I'm getting a vasectomy 😀
Adaption.
I would suggest you wait until you are 30 before having a vasectomy. Reversals are usually not successful.
@Badballie irreversibility is the whole point in it.
Just thought you need to be aware of this, many women will not marry you if you tell them you're infertile. I do not believe children make a marriage better. It makes it worse for the husband, children will always come first in a women's life. Go and have your sperm frozen in case you need it to have a child. But never tell your girlfriends you are sterile, tell no one.
@Badballie i don't plan on marriage or kids. I'm a selfish bastard.😈
Boycott fatherhood.
Yes, I am serious.
I accually wish that every single guy would do this relentlessly , but they're all to busy thinking with the wrong brain.
Just is pathetically stupid...
@Djaay Yes, humans are still primitive and will often act against their own best interests just to follow their instincts. The desire to produce offspring is quite strong among a lot of people.