When I was 18 four months before my birthday my parents split. It was nasty venomous and very very hurtful. My father did some foul things to my half sister. My mom left him and took my older sisters car to pick me up from a perfect day at work. They were crying and could barely speak. My mom, my little sister and me were without a home and only had the things we could carry in our old school backpacks. We stayed with my older sister for a week until her fiance asked us to leave. Now we stay with my uncle in his two bedroom apartment. I sleep on the couch in the livingroom and my mom and sister share the guest room. It's been 8 months and I with out a doubt despise my father. My mom was hardly there for me when I was young I was a Daddy's girl. And now. I have to be there for my mom. I have to try and mend our broken relationship so I can be there for my sister. So here's some tips that would have helped me had I known them, but learned along the way.
- The main thing is you must stay positive
- It's never the child's fault. The adults made their own decisions.
- Crying does not make you weak. It actually feels a lot better than bottling it up.
- Do not dwell on things that you cannot change.
- On the nights that are so long and you're just missing the other parent, don't feel bad you are capable of keeping a relationship with them if you want one.
- Do not try and force the relationship upon yourself you aren't ready. Take your time relationship can be broken in a day but are not easily fixed.
- For those who are like me and the other parent did something so unforgivable that it fills you with hate, don't let it simmer. Don't let that hate rule every thought you have. Don't let it control you.
- Don't take their feelings for yours. Don't pull their issues in their relationship on yourself. They are adults you are their children you don't have to deal with that sort of stuff.
- And Last but certainly not least. Don't give the parent you're living with hell for leaving the other. It was probably just as hard on them as it was on you. Be there for the siblings you have with you.
If you are like me and are going through similar things I hope all goes well for you.