Being A Single Dad

[JustinTheGreat]

Helloooo. This mytake might be really quick, but I just wanted to share my experience being a dad so far. So enjoy.

Why I'm a single dad

If you don't feel like reading this, to sum it up: the mom's a bitch :))

the mother and I weren't dating or anything we were just close friends. We were hanging out, getting high and drinking a little bit. And you know, one thing led to another.

I found out she was pregnant. She talked to me and she basically told me that she wasn't interested in having a kid, and that she wanted me to have full responsibility for it. She was going to stay for a few months after the baby was born and help, then she was planning on moving in with some of her family...who lives all the way across the country.

A few months through her pregnancy, she actually started to change her mind. She became excited about being a mother and the plan changed. She wanted the baby to live with her instead. Which I was fine with.

Fast forward, she's like 7 months pregnant and she changes her mind again. I'm taking the baby now. But she's no longer going to move away, she's going to stay and actually be there for her kid.

So the first week after the baby was born, I stayed at her house. Then when I took the baby to my house, she said she was going to come over any day she can. She never did. I would call her and she kept coming up with excuses as to why she couldn't come over. She did end up coming over, but only once or twice for the first month of the baby's life.

Eventually she cut contact off with me. I tried calling her, she blocked my number. I searched her Instagram, and she blocked my profile. Facebook, blocked. Everything, blocked.

I used my friends phone to call her and she picked up. As soon as she heard my voice, she hung up. So....yeah. Someone told me that she moved. Maybe she'll come back. Hopefully she doesn't.

I'm not completely alone though

My friends and family have been extremely helpful. They come over a lot and baby sit when I have to do something. And I definitely wouldn't be able to do this alone so i'm very grateful for them.

I'm really not worried about being a single dad because I know i'm never really going to be completely alone. The only thing i'm worried about is how important it is for a child, especially a little girl, to have a mother in their life.

Even though she might not necessarily have someone to call mom, she'll have plenty of female role models in her life, like my sisters.

Obviously its not easy

Negative things:

1. I don't get to go out and hang with my friends that much anymore. There were a couple times my mom volunteered to stay with the baby and she let me go out which was cool but most of the time that doesn't happen. What happens is I stay home while my friends send me a bunch of snapchats of them doing cool stuff together and then I get upset because I can't hang out with them.

2. I'm tired all the time. She does not sleep for more than 3 hours at a time. So she'll wake up at 2 am and I have to get up to a crying baby. Then once I wake up, I have trouble going back to sleep. and by the time I do get back to sleep , she's crying again. I'm fucking exhausted.

almost as tired as this duck

3. work schedule. I used to work full time and now I only work a couple times a week because I would feel bad asking someone to baby sit an infant every day. Plus I don't want to be that dad who leaves their kid with someone and doesn't come home till late at night and has no time for his kid. Especially for the first few years of her life, I actually want to be here. Since I'm working less, i'm making less money and I was making shit money in the first place. So i've been trying to do a couple other things to make some more money.

4. I don't really do my hobby as much

I dance. And usually I go to class twice a week and compete almost every other week. And when the baby was born, i cut out the competitions and only went once a week instead. I still went because I was competing in world championships and I didn't want to back out of that. Once worlds was over, I stopped going to class and stopped practicing. I'm just too tired to do it, i don't feel like it. I've been dancing for 14 years so I guess its time to give it up now. At least temporarily.

I'm happy as fuck though.

I wouldn't change a thing about my life right now. I regret nothing. Before she was born people told me "Oh you should just put the baby for adoption since you're so young." If I did that I know I would of regret it for the rest of my life.

I could not be any happier, I love her more than anything in this entire world.

Here are some baby gifs to finish with

Buh-bye

Fun fact: My daughters name is Aria and she was named after Ariana Grande okay bye

[Wonderer89]

It's great that you've taken to parenting so well despite less than ideal circumstances.

One thing though - you need to get a legal custody arrangement in place and you need to do it now. At any point she could change her mind yet again, come and pick up your daughter and just leave and you will have an incredibly difficult time getting her back even though you've been the sole parent so far. If she has no interest in parenting, she should have no problem stating that legally and signing away her rights - if she doesn't want to do that she should be paying child support.
It's great when things are good - but it's better to be covered for when they're bad

[JustinTheGreat]

do you know exactly how I do all that? Like what kind of place i should go

[Wonderer89]

I'd start with a google search for free law advice in your area - there are generally helplines that can give you free generic advice as it varies from state to state (and country, I'm in Australia so it would be slightly different to the states) but this seems to cover a basic outline and is similar to the process I know we use here
www.familylawselfhelpcenter.org/.../205-file

[JustinTheGreat]

Thank you

[nuttynutternut]

One thing about you, is you have a great attitude towards life, and really positive about things, I hope things get better for you, and your daughter. Your are blessed have to a great family who support you. I have realised in life, having good family beats everything, not even having millions in the bank could me happier without good family.
Always treasure good family, cause not everyone has them. Good luck to you.

[Bleh-___-]

Damnnn and you're only 19? I'm the same age as you and I still feel like a kid myself. Glad to hear you're so passionate about raising your kid, hopefully that doesn't go away with time. I can't imagine how frustrating trying to contact the mom must have been. She sounds so irresponsible. She's acting like she owes you money and is avoiding it but that's not how you act towards living beings, Jesus.

Whose decision was it to name her after Ariana Grande

[JustinTheGreat]

The passion won't go away

It was my decision to name her Aria. It started off as a joke, my friend said i should name her after Ariana Grande since I liked her so much so I said "fine i will, her name will be Aria" and then I actually grew to like the name. Her name was gonna be Reagan then i decided the spelling of it was really ugly

[Bleh-___-]

Yeah Reagan is an ugly name, Aria is better

[CubsterShura]

I'm so sorry for all what you're going through. From pregnancy to one year of my niece, my sister stayed in our house and I closely saw how much she struggled despite my brother in law, my mother, her mother in law, my father and me beside her. Being an aunt itself is hard, and being a single dad... omg salute you. I really don't think so I can respect you in words.

[Cloudy25]

This made me emotional. I can't imagine how tough it must be, you've definitely been through a lot and it's great to hear that you're still very enthusiastic about it and love what you do. I'm happy that you're not alone in all this and that you have people supporting you.
Like some others on here I also read this and wondered if you have legal sole custody, I hope you'll look into that because the mom sounds really shady.

[vonasaurus]

oh wow, i love your daughter's name!

(not a fan of ariana grande, but makes me think of arya stark from game of thrones... and she's a badass.)

admittedly, we don't hear about single dads too often, and it's nice to see one who's taking such an active role in his daughter's life. you do need to secure sole legal custody as soon as possible, though; good luck!

[lovelyhoneybones]

I applaud you. Not only are you a single father, but you're a single teen father. My cousin became a dad at 18 and seeing some of what he went through made me feel very sorrow for him. Now he's almost 20 and he's a single father, he has the help of the mother though.

Nice mytake and keep up the good work!

[Nik1hil]

I got nothing to say
Upvote
hats off
ad follow you mate

[JustinTheGreat]

Thanks

[mjz00]

really do look into protecting yourself because even as a woman i except the current laws would still take your child off you and give her back to the mum if she was sly and convincing enough in court with a good lawyer. you should get all of this logged with social services or child health organisations, you must of been doing baby health clinics and surely they must of enquired as to the mother? xx

[RolandCuthbert]

In a sea of self-centered weird, nasty, ugly threads. . .

Thanks for posting this. I wish you and your little girl the very best.

[Browneye57]

Good for you. Amazing how irresponsible some girls are these days huh? Don't even want to be involved with their own children.

They are also walking out on perfectly good men and destroying families because they're 'not haaaaappppyyyyy'. And the FI is telling them 'you go gurrlll'. 'You deserve to be happy.'

What a f'd up mess. Women are showing their true colors. And one of them is certainly not loyalty or honor - especially if that doesn't coincide with their FEELINGS.

[estoydorado1]

Aww!
Life is crazy but you took an unexpected complication and made a blessing out of it. This nearly made cry😁. Good job and good luck.

[FatherJack]

A brilliant take... yes I am biased , because I am also a single dad , but much older , I still work FT too , because I have to. I was in the British Army @ 19 , & hats off to you for doing the best you can at such a young age. My 2 are school age , my daughter is being REALLY testing at the moment ( she is 10 ) with her whining , so I they have gone to see their mother & grandparents today... ahhh peace... but for only a short time !!

[mjz00]

hi, pretty intense goings on, may i ask if there has been any legal stand points you have put in place? to protect your childs interests and your own regarding the mother? xx

[JustinTheGreat]

No, there is not. Nothing legal going on. i probably should

[mjz00]

are you in the u. s? what ever country are you on the birth certificate? and do you have parental rights by standard practice? xx

[JustinTheGreat]

Yes I'm in the US. I am on the birth certificate. And I'm not even sure what the parental rights means...😬

[mjz00]

a little starter im working on it... Can Someone Have Sole Custody if the Other Parent Abandoned?
by Beverly Bird
Related Articles
What Is the Difference Between Filing for Full Custody and Abandonment?
Parental Rights Terminated Due to Child Abandonment
How Does a Mother Get Full Custody?
In most states, sole custody means that you have both legal and physical custody of your child -- she lives with you full-time and you make all decisions regarding her upbringing, education and health. If her other parent abandons you -- and by extension, your child – this automatically gives you de facto custody, which means you’ve got custody in practice, if not by court order. You can use this to your advantage to gain sole custody in your divorce decree as well.

[KingRamesses]

Great decision. Just make sure she doesn't come back one day and start claiming the child. I think there is a legal procedure for that but I'm not very familiar with it.
Good luck to you and your daughter.

[Anonymous]

I'm a single mom to a baby girl as well. Similar situation with the father. I am going back to work at the end of the year and am terrified of putting her in a day home or with a nanny. Any advice there?

[JustinTheGreat]

I don't really know anything about daycare or a nanny, because I always have family babysit.

[Anonymous]

This was really sweet! 😍
Good luck with her, you're awesome! 😁

[melanieak4]

Congrats for screwing a dead beat you weren't married to. If a woman posted this, that would be the response you got. Because you are a guy, you get oohs and ahhhs. I don't get any congrats for being a divorced single parent, why you?

[Lily7]

Yes it sucks to be a single parent but we should be standing together. We get enough crap from others we don't need it from other single parents. It is true single moms get more shit but it doesn't change what is important and that is our babies. Plus when I read it I was like yes maybe now other guys will see how hard it is to be a single parent. To all my fellow single parents working hard and making time for your babies rock on! We are stronger than we think because they are worth it.

[li0ness]

Bless you ! Amazing man

[MountainGirl95]

That is sooo sweet!!!

[JoyGirl]

So, sweet! 😍
Congrats! 😊