Is this an obsession or what?


Despite breaking up with my selfish and uncaring ex for the final time after 10 years on/off I can't get him out of my head.

I dream about and think about him nearly everyday. This has been an issue that I haven't been able to tell anyone from the first time we split up. Despite all he has done to me my soul feels very sad, now he's gone.

I used to pray to God to bring him back to me if he was the right man for me and in my life whenever I pray for something and its truly right I get it.

But I don't know if he ever prayed for me in the same way.

I would pray that he doesn't fall by the waste side and find his purpose in life, that his return was actually because he was ready. Ready to be the man I deserve and more.

I wouldn't talk to anyone about it or contact him because I truly believe it was for him to decide (I already know what I want) and when I least expected it he'd find a way to contact me.

But every time he returned he seemed distant and irritated by me after things got comfortable again. Complaining that I was too clingy.

He would offer me less and less in return every time...

I was reduced to us being casual this time with the request for an addition of another in our bed. Ugh! As much as I love him. I just wouldn't do that just to keep him.

Sexually I've changed and I want something more.

Relationship wise i want someone who wants to be with me warts and all.

I'm struggling to get over him.

We shared so much, but also so little.

I feel overwhelmed with grief. And I don't know how to shake it.

This loss feels like someone took half my heart away.

Is this an obsession or what?
Is this an obsession or what?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Aakash_Hangargi
    It seems he has become your habbit.
    More than anything, but you need to understand that this is not good for you in certain way 10 years seems so long if it didnot work out then it will not now.

    Best to move on, nobody can replace him in your heart keep his warm memories with you and move on keep no regret the time you spent with him is enough now and you shared some memories so you cherish them don't have bitterness of any sort when you will accefpt this you will be able to move on with full heart and soul.

    Donot try to replace him, think it as you ate going for sonething different something new like a promotion you cannot sit with your old work without learning new things bc you always will like your old work it's familiar and new work conex with more challenge and it would be more interesting and cherry on top you would experience new things in life.

    Slowly you will forget the things of your past and you will accustomed to new guy but you will never feel same for someone else as how you feel for this guy.

    But it doesn't mean you won't get a better guy lol there is always a better guy just treat him fairly and donot compare both
    Like 2 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Thank you for your comments I agree that it's time to move on. I said things I had been holding in for years simply because I was breaking up politely with him but when I truly look back he just took the piss. My problem was that he was the only guy I fancied and was the only person that came back. He had a lot to gain by being with me whilst I lost and continued to lose a lot including myself. He was the lady piece in the puzzle that kept me attached to the old me, old friends, even family members I no longer talk to. I relied a lot upon a lot of people and in all honesty I was the only one chasing, and being there for them.

    • Yes i understand, it will take little time but you will be on right track just keep moving.

      And yes as you shared now yoh might feel heaviness lifted its good to let out these kinda things.

  • exitseven
    I read many questions on this site, some are funny and some are so outlandish they cannot be for real. Your words resonated with me.
    I am sorry for what you are going through. Sometimes you meet somebody and fall in love and you think they are perfect except for this one thing.
    Sometimes you just cannot fit somebody into a certain mold. You keep trying but always get the same result.
    I know it is hard but you should try to move on. Fate may have something else for you but you will not be there to get it if you are waiting for this guy to come back to you.
    Like 1 Person
    Is this still revelant?
    • Thank you for your response. I appreciate that you weren't rude. Some people aren't so considerate and it really makes me wonder if people experience love, pain or emotions. The lack of empathy is scary tbh.
      Which is a reason why I think I stayed so long. I don't know if he really felt anything for me.
      As I mention to another here, over the years I've really had to look at the relationships not just with him but family and friends to see who I'm dealing with and in all honesty I'm not entirely sure people feel anything, well as deeply as me. So I have had to protect myself from a lot of different people. So much so I mostly walk alone. I don't think I'll be hearing from him again not after he pretended to be his girlfriend via missed calls, text and email.
      (really shows his maturity level)

    • exitseven

      Thank you for noticing I am not rude. I do my best.

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • khayecv02
    I feel you Cus I’ve been into that. You know what just leave it all to God. If you’re really for each other it will work itself out and if it’s not it’ll meant to be gone. Although it hurts but U need to move on and waste your energies else where. Right now you have to focus on your life. Everything happens for a good reason. Self love is very important. The right person will come when the time is right, until then. Love yourself and be the best you
    Like 1 Person
  • Needadvice1202
    It's a soul tie
    You need to break it
    Im currently trying to break my own soul tie
    I've never had such a bad breakup before
    Like 1 Person
  • Jjpayne
    I think it's what you are used to, it's what you know. My suggestion is start actively dating again to start a new familiar person to replace him.
    Like 1 Person
  • Account
    I understand that it hurts a lot, but you need to prioritize yourself.
    You keep wasting your time thinking about him and trying to "manifest" something that has come full circle.
    You are clinging onto something because you are scared of the uncertainty of the future. Sometimes people do that, they hold on to steady toxic situations because they prefer the false sense of security.
    I think you should put your life in order and do more things that give you joy. If you fill your time with activities you enjoy, you won't have much time to think about him and you will eventually get over him.
    Like 2 People
  • Sia_nee
    Familiarity and obsession
    Like 1 Person