Don't be that 30+ year old woman that runs back to an ex, even if he does happen to be single at the time

[Bethany22]

A recent G@ger's question inspired me to write this MyTake. There are several reasons why it makes women look bad when they run back to their exes after several years have gone by, as I will explain in this MyTake:

• Crawling back makes you look pathetic. This one's obvious, but I mean, you obviously had some reasons for dumping the guy before, such as him not treating you well enough. So running back makes you seem like a pushover.
• As an older woman, you are pathetic even at the best of times. As your options are becoming limited as your develop wrinkles, you running back to an ex will not flatter him that you chose him out of all the men you have at that point.
• It helps the guy feel as though he wasn't completely to blame for the breakup. For all you know, maybe your ex boyfriend regrets the way he treated you, and feels guilty about it. You running back will allow him to assume that he must not have been that bad after all, and let out a smug sigh of relief.
• Your ex probably hasn't learned much since you left him. You might assume that he has grown into a nice, mature man now who is ready to treat you better, but most likely, he is exactly the same as he was before.
• What if he has moved on, and you get a rude awakening when you show up. Say he's single, but still, after you blurt out all your feelings for him, he tells you that he doesn't ever want to be with you ever again? That would be really embarrassing, especially considering all the other points listed are happening as well. So whatever you do, do not give ex boyfriends any ego boosts that they don't deserve.

[HighValue]

I think people going back to an ex at any age is a bad idea. They broke up for a reason and they should both move on. They weren't compatible and going back to someone because they currently have nobody may seem better than nothing temporarily, but eventually the same problems/incompatibility from the past will still be there and it will end again.

[strateguy632]

that is assuming negative try again, partners msy have new ideas or matured reference ted in how met mother. in the end failed but at least tried.

[nawtee_me]

well said, exes are exes for a reason...

[Guy13]

Love is often nonsensical. People have to work out their lives. Not everyone cares what the world thinks and why it functions the way it does. Practically and Common Sense collide with love at every point. Women, especially women, are too emotional to think through before doing Love.

[midnightmoon05]

I am married to my “ex”

we broke up for a year. Within that year, I learned about his past and reasons why he was so hurt due to his childhood and how he was raised.
he also worked out some of his fear and learned about his past wasn’t working for him. He wanted to change but no one truly show him the way.
after we got back…we still had to work through that similar issue. At the end, it was hard, but he came around and commit and saw the new life that he can have rather than being stuck in the past.
when both become adults, mature, learn and grow together…that’s how live works.
those who go from relationship to relationship and blame the other…have not leanr

[strateguy632]

great story. inspirational. i mean it.

[Alex8736]

As time goes on things are always changing in a relationship it has its ups and downs and differences of opinions can be easily worked out but when things come to an impasse and there is no happy medium (especially getting older) break-ups happen. it sucks at the onset but moving forward is key whether it's going back to school to complete a degree or a certification it's all about reaching your own goals and just like life there are always going to be a setback or 2 but it's normal. Bottom line is running back to an ex that never amounted to anything is like moving out of Park Av and settling for a Park bench

people don't change and if the previous relationship was toxic history always repeats itself. At 30 people are at their peak and if they take a step back they will end up being 40 asking themselves "what happened". sorry if i rambled

[jeffend888]

This is one of the most narcissistic takes I've ever heard in my life because every syllable implies the assumption that the ex (aka the guy) was 100% unequivocally the reason for the breakup when breakups are never one-sided.

The reasons are always two-sided and those reasons are almost always because you were never compatible to begin with, not on the same page and were trying to force the other person to be who and what you wanted them to be.

[Sixgunsound]

When are people going to realize that you are exes for a reason?

[Hollywoodhillz]

I have not seen many people go back to an ex lately. Maybe I've been under a rock! ATP in my life, you could not pay me to go back to anybody. Yikes

[Smoothing]

What does ATP mean?

[Aakash_Hangargi]

At this point

[Smoothing]

😂😂😂 I think people should stop abbreviating things that don't need to be abbreviated. Now look at silly me as a scientist, I was reading it as, "Adenosine triphosphate in my life". How f'd up is that? 😂😂 Please let us raise our standards when it comes to language. Abbreviate only when necessary.

Lord have mercy. I dying of laughter. 🤣🤣🤣

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Man she is going to block us lol 😂😂😂

[Smoothing]

😂🤣😂

[Hollywoodhillz]

Normalize minding the business that pays you. You can't change grown people. Normalize not wasting your precious life, trying to control the world. ATP I said what I said.

[Smoothing]

🤣🤣🤣 I am dying.

[Hollywoodhillz]

You're dying? How long do you have?

[Smoothing]

A little decency please @Hollywoodhillz. I haven't measured.

[Hollywoodhillz]

Well don't speak things like that

[strateguy632]

@Smoothing to smo, lol oops.

[bamesjond0069]

If I ever took an ex back I'd expect her to grovel at my feet basically since she's the one who is worth less where I'm worth more. I'd expect her to lick my boot daily for the privilege of a second chance.

Let's see, she's older, slept with more men, nothing can compensate for that soooo... where I'm hotter, earn more money and slept with more women. So ewww. Wouldn't want to do it but if if if, yes I'd expect the world out of her and I'd put in less effort than the first time.

[strateguy632]

saying: if at first you fail, try again. so if both singles again definitely try again. not "crawl" but start again.

[Tracker1958]

Us men are telling the men that a real man never takes a woman back after she left you thinking she could do better than him. Taking a ex girlfriend/ wife is a taboo thing for man to do. No exceptions. She leaves, she garbage.

[Fireguy17]

I think, but I'm not an expert, that sometimes they are afraid of being alone so something is better than nothing.

[Jamie05rhs]

Lol. You make everything sound like it's about keeping up appearances. That's not the point.
The point is that he was BAD for you! That's why you need to never go back to him!

[pupluv45]

here's the shaming of 30 yr old women again.

its a non stop cycle of hate

[anon1903]

Also it's a myth men get better as they age. They don't! 🤣

[AmeerX]

Try not to be negative, many guys I see who were regretful and became more loving after the patch up ))

[Looksnicholas]

So true and so honest 🙂

[exitseven]

Once it's over, it's OVAH.

[Mansearching]

I'd still tell her no.

[pizzalovershouse]

Ok I agree not a good idea

[appleadayisgood]

does this really happen a lot in life?

[KrakenAttackin]

Are you a moderator?