Hello... im new here i know its late but i really am in need of help
i've Been with my girlfriend for 3 years (known here for 5 years). We have always been very happy together but I recently found out that her 3 year old son is not mine. my suspicions when he was born. he has blue eyes now I have met most of my girlfriends family and NONE of them have blue eyes and NONE of my family have blue eyes as well. This kept eating away at me and I decided to get a dna test and i discovered his not my son. I was so mad and hurt by this so I put the results on her bed and I have been staying at a hotel until I can figure out what to do. She cheated on me and lied to me in the worst way its been 5 days since I found out and I just don't know what to do... I feel like such a loser.. I feel like i'm less of a man
She called me from a blocked number today begging me to come back home and at least see her son because his been crying asking were his "daddy" is
Most Helpful Girl
As much as it is Killing you inside, whatever happened '3 years' ago is in the past, and for what it is worth----She let sleeping dogs lie dormant up to now. You have this marvelous child, you've all been a Family, and they Both love you so much. And until now, the three of you were this happy family, loving and bonding and it was just like a fairy tale ending. Only it Didn't have----This fairytale ending that should have never turned this page.
Yes, she lied to you, she kept it from you, because she was afraid of losing you. And if she had come clean with the cheat sheet deal before, would anything have changed even then?
Take some alone time, you need this to do some serious soul searching. I realize as of now, it will be very hard to reach out to her again, love her again, trust her anymore. I sympathize with you 100 percent. This little pup is in the doghouse, and she made a Big mistake and now has to pay the pied piper for the rest of her life.
I do believe, that when things have calmed down some, you Both need to have a long talk, soul mate to soul mate. If not for Her sake, make it for your son's sake, and what's More, this little boy will always consider YOU his daddy, no one else.
If you feel there is no hope, that you cannot ever forgive her, then do what is best for your own good. But make sure you take into consideration this little soul who never asked for this, asked to be born, for no matter what, he will always pull at your tender loving heart strings.
Might I also suggest counseling for you and your girlfriend. It may be a road you would need to take. A beautiful life has been shattered here, and somewhere sometime, I feel this Can be worked out, with love and compromise, rebuilding what may Not be totally lost.
Depending on your relationship with her, for you have known her a long time, you decide if she is worth it, if making a go of it is something you can deal with, live with... It's your choice now.
God bless. xx3
Most Helpful Guy
These women are being hypocrites claiming you are the dad. If the child's real father was on here, they would be claiming his DNA was what made him a father and bound him to the child forever. Once that becomes inconvenient for them, they switch their story. It shows just how afraid women are of men leaving if the man finds out the truth. Which shows how many of them actually cheat.
1 out of every 10 men has been tricked like you. The other 9 men are raising kids that often the mother has no idea if he is the father or not. This is why women think it is so important for you to stay and help the kid. A lot of these women could end up in the same situation one day.
You won't be hurting this child by leaving, that blame lies solely on her for cheating and lying. You are not, the father, and never will be. His mother lied to him about who his father is, and denied him a chance to know his real dad. You are not the bad guy for leaving. Your girl is the one completely at fault. It is the consequences of what your girl did that will hurt this kid. She is the one hurting you and the child.
For the rest of your life you will look at this kid, and see another man staring back at you. Your girl clearly isn't looking out for your happiness you have to look out for yourself. I would cut your connection to both of them. Even if you signed something saying you were the father, is is much easier to walk away from now, than it use to be. A DNA test should be all you need. Contact a lawyer and talk about what your options are in your area.
If you really want to remain a part of this child's life that is up to you, but don't let these women make you feel guilty. It isn't your fault. 100% of the blame lies with the woman.3
- Show AllShow Less