Signs someone still likes you after a breakup vs attention seeking?

[Anonymous]

As the question says, what are the signs someone is actually still interested after a breakup rather than just attention seeking?

[natalieblue7]

When me and my ex broke up and it was really ugly but we both still had feelings for each other, I would catch him staring, or he was asking mutual friends about me and whether I'm seeing anyone and stuff. At the same time there was also a lot of negative signs, he tried his hardest to assure everyone I'm much sadder over the break up, that he doesn't care about me at all and he did it to the point that was so exaggerated that it was obvious that he has some kind of a problem. As I said I sometimes caught him staring, but he would never actually speak to me, if anything he would ignore me. He also started seeing some other girl and he brought her with him everywhere that he knew I would be, he made out with her in front of me in a very obvious way etc., even though otherwise they had no chemistry or anything. There were moments when I was sure that I'm just reading the signals wrong and he actually is totally over me and is not just trying to hurt me or make me jealous, but after 2 months of this kind of hateful behaviour, he literally showed up at my door one night, drunk, saying that he misses me.

But this is just from my experience, I think it really depends on a situation and your relationship. My ex for example was an ignorant, immature asshole, I'm sure many people would handle the situation differently.

(Also I know I was describing male behaviour here, but I think girls would do pretty much the same, like try to make you jealous just to see what your reaction is, rather than actually show affection. but i think it REALLY depends on a situation and what kind of break up it was)

-also: i hate to be annoying, but would you mind checking my question: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1238908-did-he-just-use-me-for-sex-or-does-he-actually-like-me-why-is-he

[Asker]

Okay so I am actually in a REALLY similar situation.

I am in a situation is upset with me because I called it out like I saw it, that she was playing games but was pretty cold about it - even if it was warranted. I tried to clear the air up a month and a half later when we next saw each other and she was still pissed/annoyed, constantly at a place I always go to and so does she but now she was there ALL day multiple days in a row, constantly talking/laughing/hugging other guys in front of me but giving me the silent treatment. She also kept constantly staring but wouldn't approach me except to walk past me and not say anything, but I remained cordial and would say hi/bye/good luck on this test out/project/etc.

So I don't get it, we never got to the point of it being sexual, even though the night I told her off, that's where it was going before she began to push me out of her life completely.

Yep, I'll answer now.

[natalieblue7]

Well her behaviour clearly shows that she still has some unresolved problem or conflict. Ignoring someone is just a way of attention seeking, as well as being all loud and funny or flirty in front of you with other people. Also as you said, she hangs out at a place where she knows she will run into you - if she wanted to avoid you and not see you, she wouldn't be here.
Have you tried speaking to her alone? I mean it really depends on what do you want and what are your feelings towards her.

[Asker]

Well ya I did try to talk to her, like I said about a month and a half later, but she was still pissed about it. Which makes no sense to me if she's the one that said she has no feelings for me.

I also agree it is attention seeking, if not at least immature, so I let it be but maintained my normal behavior rather than letting her get a reaction out of me. Then she started befriending everyone at that place while ignoring me so I assume she was just hurt and trying to get back at me.

At this point I don't really want anything, but I just don't get it. If you don't have feelings towards someone surely you can't be this angry?

[natalieblue7]

I would say opposite, if you don't have feelings for someone you don't get that angry and immature, but you just don't care and move on.
So if you don't want anything with her, I guess that's the best you can do in this situation and hope that she will start acting normally after some time.

[incognito121]

They are still nice to you, they don't bring up what happened between you even if you are nasty to them they are still caring and dont take what you say to serious they still do things for you are willing to still meet up and be friends. They are happy not bitter towards you. Always ask how you are doing are concerned about your wellbeing the list goes on its pretty hard to miss the signs if iam honest haha

[Asker]

I am in a situation is upset with me because I called it out like I saw it, that she was playing games but was pretty cold about it - even if it was warranted. I tried to clear the air up a month and a half later when we next saw each other and she was still pissed/annoyed, constantly at a place I always go to and so does she but now she was there ALL day multiple days in a row, constantly talking/laughing/hugging other guys in front of me but giving me the silent treatment.

Should I assume she's just being an attention seeker?

[incognito121]

She just trying to make you jealous because her feelings are hurt

[Asker]

But if that's the case, and I kind of figured, then why is doing it if SHE is the one that told me we're just friends and she doesn't have feelings like that for me?