I'd be very, very careful about this one. My ex-boyfriend was friends with his ex and at first it was fine, but within six months things escalated and he ended up cheating on me with her and getting back together! If you know in your heart that your boyfriend isn't a cheater then try to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she's the only one initiating and all they're really doing is talking. Maybe he really is a nice guy and she knows this and doesn't want him back. If they ARE hanging out, that is inappropriate (mine crashed at his ex's house one night- I spent the next day at work crying). Make sure you're invited if they DO meet up sometime.
Having girl friends is fine for a boyfriend, but being friends with an ex is a scary thing to deal with because there were definitely feelings there at one point. Be polite but firm and if he doesn't understand how upsetting this is after a couple days/weeks, I'd say save yourself and get out before you get your heart broken. It took me an entire year to get over being cheated on, and I still feel repercussions though I'm now dating the man of my dreams. It's the worst thing that could come of this. Oh yeah, and the two of them ended up getting engaged.
Maybe they are still friends? It could be especially true if they were in a serious relationship for a long time. You tend to still be friends with them after unless something really bad happened because you've shared a lot of time and events with that person.
I think you should talk to him about it, and ask him if they are still friends or if she still has the hots for him. Just because he still talks to her doesn't mean he has the hots for her too.
If she does still have the hots for him, then you should tell him that she should stop talking to him for a while, and when she is over him that they can be friends if she still wants to.
If he doesn't do that, I'd say it would be time to re-evaluate your relationship.
One of my best friends is an ex boyfriend. So I guess I have experience of being on the other side. She's always been okay with it though so I guess its different in that way.
If he's choosing her, then you have your answer. Do you really want to be with someone who is insensitive as to how much this bothers you? This is not just about his ex-girlfriend calling, it's about whether or not he recognizes and deals with problems as they arise. If he lets the situation go on and doesn't address your concerns, then he's not taking a mature or serious enough approach to your relationship.
You should leave him, because it will bother you a lot. I don't think he will stop contacting her if you say he chose her already. Also, he could lie. If they are really good friends, it's ok to contact, but I wouldn't trust men at the moment.
But I know leaving a guy is hard to do. I'm also having a hard time. Hope the future will be good for you and for me whatever we may do.
Just because he is talking to her ex girlfriend doesn't make you 2nd best and its just unfair to tell him to stop calling her if they are not cheating or flirting with one another. And by him choosing her doesn't prove that you're 2nd to him it just proves that he believes that its an unfair request and he will not do something that he believe is so strongly wrong. personally I would do the same if I was him.
Obviously he's made his choice. Time for you to move on. You gave him an ultimatum and now you have to follow through. Or, did he just call your bluff?
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Dump him and move on. He is clearly not over her still and if he can so easily choose her over you, then he is not worth your time. Chances are, he'll either end up getting back together with her, cheating on you with her, or breaking up with you for someone completely different if he can so easily choose another girl over you. Yes they may be just friends, but it sounds too fishy for that. This guy is a jerk! You can find someone much better.
Kill her? For refusing to play second best, you're being stubborn. Why do you want to be rejected by him choosing her and still stick around? Just to win or something? If he likes her, he likes her. That's just how it is.
And he won't tell her to stop calling? Wellll... my ex- didn't tell me to stop texting him.. and we ended up having sex. Right next door to her.
Get over the competition aspect and just move on. You said it yourself, He is choosing her.
Well maybe they are really good friends don't want to wedge yourself there because makes it look like your the bad guy. Play the waiting game
Im in a similar situation. Although he doesn't want ANYTHING to do with his Ex. She's being a real pain. For him. For our relationship to move on. How can I get rid of her out of our life. She was the cause of our little break up we had a couple of months ago. Now that were back together. she doesn't give up. He chose me over her. Said it'll ALWAYS be me. Now she won't leave him alone. Anyone got any suggestions what I should do.?!?
PLEASE HELP!
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