My ex boyfriend broke up with me for good a few weeks ago. I reached out to him after 2 weeks of not talking to him to say we can keep in touch from time to time. He replied "Probably not a good idea right now, my head's a little screwed up." Is he rejecting me or what's wrong with him?
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Dumpers suggest being friends to avoid going on a guilt trip from blindsiding you with a break-up and hurting your heart. Lets just be real here: You two have passed the boundaries of platonic friends once you willingly chose to explore each other intimately (physically and mentally). There is no chance for you to be friends now. You are too far gone. When there is even the slightest bit of physical, emotional, or mental desire even if not reciprocated, there is no realistic outcome of a friendship. When he says he wants to be ‘friends’, he doesn’t actually mean he wants you to become a homie and start hanging out like friends who don’t sleep with each other and get romantic. He’s basically saying that he wants you to be open to receive a text every now and then. He’s avoiding a guilt trip.
When you are dumped, it’s best to pick up your self-respect and dignity and walk away. You don’t owe him a friendship: he left you. For whatever reason, he gave up on your relationship and demoted you to a much less desired position on his timeline. Go ahead, drop some tears…it hurts and I know it hurts but you are going to be dumping a whole can of salt into that wound if you continue to pretend that you can actually remain present in his life. He doesn’t get to request friendship, it’s self-centered and inappropriate. His unreachable presence is just going to linger and effect your ability to heal and move on so it’s best if you decline that friendship and remove him from every aspect of your life.1
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