Do guys feel guilty after leaving a girl heartbroken?

Question

When guys leave/ ignore us girls we become heartbroken and sometimes we feel worthless. My question is, do guys feel sad or maybe even guilty because of what they did to us girls?

Misterjay02 · Accepted Answer

I've only done that to one girl in my life, it was a girlfriend I was dating. I knew the relationship wouldn't work, specially with me going into the military. So I went to her house, picked her up and when for a drive with her. I told her flat out I didn't this would work. I was really kind about it though. I spelled it out like I was writing a 5 paragraph essay. I tried to make it as respectful as I could. I felt awful seeing her cry her eyes out as I'm telling her this. I cared so much about her, I just knew the relationship wouldn't work. I felt awful, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

The next week at school, she didn't some in for a couple days. We had a couple classes together so I noticed right away, texting her if she was alright, but getting no answer. Finally she came into class one day, and she was late, she came into the room and gave me a slight look, a look of complete dissapointment and hurt. God it really hurt seeing that. It made me spend a lot of night thinking if I made the right descision. Deep down I know I did. It had to be done, I haven't actually talked tl Her now in over a year, by text, but everything is going good in her life now and I'm happy for her. I think we are on good terms, but we are both now just living our lives.

I didn't enjoy breaking her heart. I was really good to her, was never using her or anything like that. I think most heartbreaks for girls nowadays are when their expectations for a guy they like is ruined, mostly by guys taking advantage of girls. I don't think of myself as a bad person for breaking up with her. I did it in the most respectful way possible, and that's all you can do really.

Junlian · Accepted Answer

Ha hahahahaha it depends on how it happen. If she was a pain in the ass then yes we don't care. We won't feel bad and it's good bye for her. If she has bf/ trust issues/ or she might did something wrong. Yes it will settle in but it will fade. Now if he loved of liked the girl then it will take more an effect. Me, I ignored this girl and boy she was heartbroken. She was sad her head was down on the table she posted it. Why did I? Cause she was playing games, she lies, and playing hard to get for a full year. She flirt one moment then next she's like stop! Or she won't respond at all. Now! She still play hard to get but I can flirt with her without her saying stop. I had to let her know this hot and cold crap won't work on me.

Findingmyway · Accepted Answer

Depends on the breakup.. No different then a girl leaving a guy. No one wants to hurt another person but truth is, break ups are painful no matter the situation so some level of pain will be felt by both even when its the best decision. even if the breakup was weight lifting and necessary.

Myah_15 · Accepted Answer

I don't think they do because I sure don't care when I leave a guy feeling heartbroken. The only way I would care even if it was just a little would be if I really cared for the guy or if we had something special.

pr3ttybr0wn · Accepted Answer

If a guy breaks your heart he probably doesn't give a shit. That's why women need to be less vulnerable and tender hearted Bc most of y'all end up getting hurt and the guy doesn't skip a beat. Read their answers

ObviouslyBored · Accepted Answer

Been told by several male friends No, they don't feel bad. Strokes to the male ego are a good thing and hurt feelings are just a by product.

godfatherfan · Answer

Well the problem is the way you worded it. Women are way more vicious in dumping men then the other way around.
My ex wife threw away our family. 25 years together. never shed 1 tear the entire time. laughed when she told me she had been cheating at the end of the relationship, which leads to to figure it was probably during the entire relationship.
meanwhile, since I started dating I have broken up with 3 women where it was not just mutual that we stop dating. I never had a gf when I was young. I went on dates with 5 women before I met my ex. So at 46, I have had to break up with someone for the first time ever. I still feel like shit about all of them. But even though I would never have wanted or asked for a divorce, I gave up everything to try and make my ex happy. I was unhappy for a long time. Or at least, not as happy as I should have been. I refuse to just settle. That isn't to say I am not willing to compromise. But I won't just go along because I don't want to hurt someones feelings.

Anonymous · Answer

Staying anon as I hate myself a little for this.

There's a girl that felt she loved me for about five years. A girl that I didn't fully love back, but I absolutely valued her in my life so I didn't let her go. I effectively led her on by being friendly back but never making a move; she was too shy to, yet eventually made a move herself, which I partially rejected. She carried on trying with me but in hindsight I hurt her for a lot of that time by not returning her love but not letting her move on by dismissing myself from her life.

Haven't spoken to her in about half a year now, but I didn't give her that closure. Part of me wants to talk to her to let her know why I did what I did. The other part fears it'll only hurt her more by reminding her of me.

Yes, I feel horribly guilty. Always have. Don't think I'll ever not feel guilty about it, but that's something I'll just have to live with.

Imupforit · Answer

I have left relationships twice in my lifetime and one I've gone back to where I didn't feel I had moral high ground to end it. In those cases I felt badly for her. One had kissed another guy while I was away for the summer so I felt I couldn't trust her. She pleaded with me not to end it. She chased after me when she realized I had walked away and tripped trying to cross a ditch. I think she broke her nose because blood was streaming down her face and ruining her blouse once she caught up to me. I still rejected her. I still loved her but I was dead set that it was over.
Yea, I felt bad. I still feel bad decades later but I mourn the loss of a relationship, not her.

Hubris · Answer

One, leaving and ignoring are two totally, completely, WILDLY different things.

There could be any number of reasons why I'm "ignoring" you, and if that's enough to break your heart you're not going to make it very far.

Two, every single person on this earth is completely different than the next. Nobody is exactly the same or thinks exactly the same about a given subject.

Of course I feel bad if I hurt someone. The longer we were together, the worse I feel. HOWEVER, people need to stop looking at a breakup as one person intentionally hurting another for selfish reasons. If we're in a relationship and it isn't working out, should I stay with you and pretend so you don't get your feelings hurt? That's asinine, and it's nothing but a two person puppet show, instead of two people moving on toward something that's better for both of them. Have to grow up a little bit, I think.

DaveyYourFavey · Answer

No not usually, but sometimes yes.

If its because the she cheated on me, was an absolute b*tch or was trying to test me, then I honestly couldn't give a flying f*ck about her feelings. In fact, if she cheated on me, I'd hope that she's never the same again. Yea ino, psycho :) haha

But if she was just a bit annoying or things just weren't going anywhere I'd feel maybe a little sympathy. But not much. I'd mostly just want to keep away from her to avoid awkwardness and get on with my life.

But there is one scenario that would evoke extreme sympathy.
If the girl was perfect, but I myself was falling for someone else. Then its completely my own fault, the girl can't do anything about it and I start to feel like I'm a terrible person for letting her get involved with me.

Those kind of breakups are the worst. And I feel like sh*t for weeks afterward.

Hariss · Answer

it is not just guys who leave girls heartbroken there are many girls too, I am also heartbroken guy before leaving me she hurt me broke me in all possible ways she could and she is still living happily i don't think she have any guilt of that infact she think, she deserves to do that. But if it's me i will never do that to my girlfriend so this will never be the case with me, i know how it feels to have a broken heart so i will never do this with anyone, as far as she want to be with me i will always try my best to keep her happy and even sacrifice my happiness for her if required.

Galden · Answer

Ok dear, i do not know your age.
So i will respond as you are in your 30's.

I have broken up with a few girls becouse they did not want the same as me.
I have had a few break up with me becouse i did not want the same as them. And i was heart broken over them. But life moves on, and in time so did I.
If you were chasing after the Alpha bad boy and got heart broken, shame on you. They do not want love. They just want to sex you then move on. Do you realy think Justin Bieber realy cairs about that pritty 16 year old girl?
Do not live in the dream ( lie ) of that great boy...

So to answer your question, yes many men have been heart broken over girls. Just as many of you have been used by boys...
If the relationship is not going to grow, then move on.

Do you want to move back in time to the last 2000 years? Were you married a man you did not love? Now you have the chance to decide what you want. And with it will come heartbreak, for you and for the boys you ignore.

forgottenmonkey · Answer

Depends on the girl and the relationship, most of the time yes but I am a pretty touchy feely guy. I feel bad anytime anyone stops talking to me. I just messaged a friend a few hours back who I had a fight with about a month ago and she told me to piss off. Honestly I just hate anyone being upset because of me there is enough negative energy in the world I dont need to add to it and I hate to see people hold on to it. Long rant ending lol, I always feel bad but it doesn't mean I want to get back together but I never mean to hurt anyone even if thats how it comes across.

Bluemax · Answer

Sad, yes. Guilty, no.

I would feel guilty if there were something morally wrong about breaking up with someone. However, there is no wrong in breaking up with a person with whom things just aren't working out. I feel sad that she is hurting. I feel sad that I am hurting. However, I don't feel guilty.

Your worth as a human being, my dear asker, shouldn't be measured by someone breaking up with you. It happens that sometimes a relationship between two people just doesn't work out and it's no one's fault. Try to keep this in mind (and I know it's hard to think straight when we're hurting).

AleDeEurope · Answer

Guilty no, because it's not my fault that I don't like you, so there's no reason for me to feel guilty.
I do feel bad though, I know how bad it is to like somebody but not be liked back, and since I empathize very easy with people, even those I don't even know, I usually put myself on her position, and feel bad.
This is what I do now, but before I wouldn't give a shit, I would even play with her feelings (like I did once to this girl, something I still regret, and I never apologized :( ). Thankfully I changed, and I'm glad for that.

Theguyoverthere · Answer

Personally last girl I broke up with I didn't and it was a pretty civil breakup. The thing is, there was so much foreshadowing to the point where when I initiated it I didn't feel bad at all because the relationship was already tanking for quite some time. It was actually relieving when it happened because I was tired of her arguing so much spinning in circles with issues that could easily be solved in 1-2 sentences.

ThatAsianFellow · Answer

Depends. If a girl cheats on me, I'd care less about her. Which did happen. I ended up packing her stuff in bags, leaving out front and changing my door locks.

If she wanted to move in with me then to catch her out with another guy, how would you react?

If anything though if it was mine at fault then yes I'd feel guilt.

Or mutual break ups and no one gets hurt much.

ShinRain · Answer

Normally I would say offcourse we do, It's human to feel guilty when you are a direct cause of someone's pain, I know I did for all my relationships I ended...
However after reading some comments above I guess I can't speak for all of us or even most of us.. So basically the answer is, some men (or women) do and some do not.
I wonder if this meens empathy has become a rare emotion these days..
It's a sad world..

RationalMale · Answer

No. I think most of us adored women and were nicer in our teens, then we meet that girl in high school/college, get our hearts broken, and learn that women are very cold and flaky. It kills any sympathy or empathy we really have for women... the only way to really be good at dating, with how girls are, is to be cold and keep feelings out of it as much as possible.

posted · Answer

Depends on who you dated and how it ended. Date an asshole/player probably doesn't. Date someone who did care for you, probably to some extent, unless you messed up.

Heathrowguy · Answer

Yea... it's happened. But was better said than to lead on. Felt guilty she loved me & I didn't have same feelings. It was for the better as she'd be hurt even more if I stayed in her life. I felt bad.

zorro8888 · Answer

Yeah I don't show much emotion but I don't like hurting people so I'd feel guilty.

bryon · Answer

It all depends on the circumstances surrounding the break up. If it's a broken relationship beyond repair then I would not feel as bad as I would feel relief. It's the one that still has promise that would make me feel bad

PiuBelloAmante · Answer

this song somes it up lol i have broken a couple hearts but i never felt guilty...

panzer723 · Answer

Well it depends on what kind of girl are you.

If you are a nice, kind, loyal, faithful, respectable and even hardworking... they should feel sad for living you.

If you're one of the liberated leftover girls who likes to dry humps different men every day or night, then there's no point of being sad leaving you.

mkarthick46 · Answer

Yeah actually we do feel a lot sometimes. When I broke up with my girl friend I felt a lot for like a couple of months. But when once I realized that she is happy and started to move on then I felt better. Cos I couldn't fit in with her I had a guilt of hurting a girl's emotions. So yeah we do feel.

Anpu23 · Answer

Yes of course guys feel bad when we breakup. It hurts us. Is there some guilt? Depends on the breakup, how the guy perceived the breakup, and who did what. Ex's are ex's for reasons, if something didn't happen then you'd still be together still.

Bjórn28 · Answer

As stated many times it depends on the relationship and the person. For example I broke up with my last girlfriend and I've never felt so bad as i really liked her.

serp777 · Answer

Not really. Girls always expect you to text them first and I get real tired of that because it feels like im making all attempts and investments.

sawno · Answer

It depends on the situation but yes i can feel horrible about hurting you so much especially if i still care for you.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not just guys that leave girls heartbroken it works both ways.
My ex didn't give a crap that she left me heartbroken/really messed up and reinforced that by using me after we finished because she wasn't getting attention anywhere else.

Kountry_King · Answer

Woman do the same thing to men but I'm sure everyone feels guilty about hurting an significant others feelings

unlucky555 · Answer

Depend if u deserve it or no  How u measure it u deserve it or no it's complex it base on his mind

ChebMami · Answer

You can't ask about "guys" in general. Some feel guilt, some don't care.

ComDom · Answer

It totally depends on the guy. Girls do things like that too by the way.

AlexCab · Answer

I did, and I would if I did it again. who wouldn't? makes me feel like shit...

Anonymous · Answer

Cry cry cry, women do it to men too and they are equally callous, if not more, since women have a streak of vindictiveness that men don't. Get over it.

thesunstillshines · Answer

Depends who. A sociopath who is a player, won't. If the guy didn't break a girls heart on purpose than he will probably feel bad.

dudeman · Answer

Not if its better for me. One girl I do feel bad about but the others its better for them to suffer then me.

fitnesspm · Answer

I find if they are a nice person that I valve as well as hot, I would feel a little guilty.  If they are total bitch, I would be happy to see them suffer! Ugly and fat women I don't care!

Anonymous · Answer

I have broken a heart or two and yes I felt guilty about it.

Anonymous · Answer

No, guys are heartless monsters. We do not possess human emotions such as guilt.

lv4lv · Answer

Leave as in break up? Yes. Ignore? Probably not as it's unlikely he even knows he's doing it.

GoldEmblem · Answer

When I was younger, it didn't hurt me to break up or hurt a girl's feelings. Now it does. A lot. I think modesty and decency are part of growing up.

Joelski440 · Answer

I broke a girl's heart and it's eating me up inside. 😭

Maxemeister · Answer

I'd feel awful, and personally, feel inquired to go back to her.

genericname85 · Answer

if we had feelings for her, of course we do. but if it doesn´t work, you have to end it sometimes...

JCT666 · Answer

Nah, I don't feel sad for my lying, cheating ex. :L

Cowboy6666 · Answer

First of all I don't break cute girls hearts, if I would I won't forgive myself, coz I feel very guilty..

Cyhhgg · Answer

Well I know one thing... women aren't qualified to answer this question since its about us.

InitialZ · Answer

Well then I must have gotten the cold hearted bitches cause not one was sad or anything like that.

Thrifty · Answer

Yes. After having your heartbroken you don't ever want any other girl to feel that way ever again.

leftshark · Answer

Absolutely! It is tough because breaking up means 2 people don't agree on the reasons and one person is hurt.

Anonymous · Answer

Girls hardly feel remorse for men, so we usually don't feel it back.

Hannah591 · Answer

Good question. Most don't give a shit.

AddictedGirl · Answer

Depends on the guy's feelings for that girl

thealphamaleishere · Answer

Yes. Weighs heavy. Sometimes for awhile.

manarnurah · Answer

Well it depends on what kind of guy you dated

Blondiee2014 · Answer

Er well I do yeah.

chrisbigman · Answer

I feel guilty before I even talk to girls.

Anonymous · Answer

It depends on the circumstances, but usually yes.

planetnumb · Answer

Depends on how the guy is.

albundyfan · Answer

Ill let you know if it ever happens

Anonymous · Answer

No, I have no sympathy for women.

GalaxyHotChoc · Answer

I wonder the same

Do guys feel guilty after leaving a girl heartbroken?

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