Do guys ever feel bad for breaking a heart?

[Nazgol]

For rejecting the girl that wanted them & wanted to love him. Do they have memories of her and get reminded?

Updates

+1 y

Good answers!

[Anonymous]

Generally women are more used to doing this to guys. They probably felt bad the first time it happened but they grow callous over time. Women are the ones getting approached (80 to 90% of the time), they initiate more break ups and it’s statistical fact they file for divorce twice as often as men do. It’s easier for them because society will usually say their decisions are justified because it’s almost always the man’s fault. Most women can easily jump into another relationship faster than their male counterparts.


With that said I DID feel bad for breaking my ex gfs heart. I tried to lay her down with gentle hands. I gave her the respect of meeting with her face to face and dealing with her going psycho ballistic for 2 hours. It got so bad she threatened to kill herself and her grandma had to call the police to have her taken in for psychological evaluation.

But still I gave her more respect than any other woman has ever given me in that scenario. I’ve been ghosted, cheated on, lied to, taken advantage of, strung along, etc. But I did the right thing with her. I didn’t use negative past experiences to judge women negatively as a whole to justify harming one to “score one for the team”.

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

The stat is 87% divorce initiation rate by women.

[Opinion Owner]

@DeltaCharlieEcho i thought it was around 65 to 70 percent. But you are probably right. Do you have a reference for that statistic?

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

Not really. I wish I did. Last time I looked it up I was expecting to see 65% and was blown away when it was over 80%

[Opinion Owner]

@DeltaCharlieEcho I wouldn’t be surprised.

Dating is such a pain the ass for most western guys I can see why (sadly) they tolerate abuse without being tough enough to call a divorce attorney. Women might tolerate a cheating husband if he’s the breadwinner. Women have a harder time being financially independent (more of subjective decision they make in my opinion). However modern society gives makes up lots of bullshit excuses for women who cheat. Cheating women will say gaslighting crap like “oh he wasn’t there for me” or “the other guy made me feel special” to justify their crap. You see it TV and movies roles. But a man would never get away with claiming vice versa.

[Leavesbound]

my own heart has been broken five times. I have broken one. I did feel bad but I had no choice. My girlfriend was going to give up all custody and visitation rights to her two kids and turn them over to her ex husband never to see them again to move 600 miles to be with me. I could not do that to those two innocent angels and I honestly didn't really want to be with someone who didn't have a strong maternal instinct. Gut I also didn't want her to take it out on her daughters so I invented a reason unrelated to her kids to break up with her that I know hurt her emotionally but it was the only way. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make.

[devilish-cutie]

I think hurting someone badly affects everyone, even if guys tell themselves they dont care they carry it somwhere deep inside and it affects their life.

Personally, i feel bad hurting anyones feelings be it even for smaller things.

[WowwGirl]

No sadly no and if so they don't till. months or years later

[Bklynbadboy12]

This right here shows that women know absolutely nothing about men

[Inexpensivefurniture]

I would feel bad because I never want to be the cause of someone's suffering, but I also can't beat myself up for not feeling the same way about someone as they do about me. It sucks that they fell for me and I didn't fall for them, but neither of us had any control over that. At some point we've all liked someone who didn't like us back, it's just how life goes.
I would try to let them down easy and make things as painless as possible, but I'm also not gonna let myself feel guilty because there weren't mutual feelings

[NathanDavis]

never done that really... for all those girls who had a crush on me, I never had their hearts in the first place, and I didn't really reject them, just made them realize in the very best possible way that I really don't know them that well so I don't feel the same way about them, and never played any games with those I was actually in relationships with

[he-takes-a-part]

Yes they do, but you'll have to keep certain things in mind before you get the extremist thoughts. He might have started to indicate you thats he's not into it and he doesn't feels any movement and since then majority of the times you both went into little skirmishes which anywhich ways added to his ruin and when he knows that he canst provide you the love he used to its simple to feel guilty of him and leav you more than feeling hurt to hurt you he feels it for himself evidence of which can be traced if he immediately turns for another one genrally an avergae thinking guy would go for such an option so it was better you left him. The power of now should be taken into cognizance and moved on.

[TodsShadow]

Yes, my ex was so in love she never really paid attention to anything else. When I had problems she would say whatever to shut me up and move on like nothing happened. I got tired of the ignorance she displayed most of my friends could tell she didn’t care what I had to say as long as I was hers. They thought she was using me for something. In the end seeing her breakdown made me feel bad but I was also angry I was being ignored. Took a few weeks to get over feeling bad but then I focused on myself

[serious]

Yes if the woman was genuinely nice, sweet, kind, caring and had all the good qualities then surely they will feel bad and regret breaking that woman's heart.

If the woman had the opposite personality of what I mentioned then they won't regret even for a second.

[ColoradoKid]

I have only left one of my X girlfriends. The way we broke up was not in a good way. She was being really mean for a long time and I got tired of it so I didn't care if I had broken her heart at that time. About a year later I felt a little bit bad for the way things ended because she was extremely bi polar and didn't want to get help for it.

I would like to know if the ladies that broke my heart felt bad. Every lady that I have been with I had loved whole heartedly.

[nojokecarmichael]

Did you love the one that was "mean" to you?

[TheorionMage]

'Yes'... but would you PREFER a sharp but short emotional rebuke?
Or, and OVERLY-'ambiguous' genteel break-up; that leaves you delusionally hopeful?
"Friend-zone"-ing SUCKS!

Forcing a potential girlfriend to extreme changes of behavior to be 'WITH' you
... especially if there is no intended LONG TERM commitment, is reprehensible.
And, NOT the 'price of admission'.

[joaoalves993]

Yes they do not like. Some just do not give a dam about anything which exist a lot. Although someone with feelings is going to feel at least a bit bad. That is more rare guys are kinda desperate so they don't break hearts. You are at least getting something but it might not be what you want. they will have memories absolutely!

[The_Maphio]

Only happened once, that a girl came up to me telling me I'm cute, and it surprised the hell out of me.
Either way she wasn't my type at all, and I had to turn her down. What her reaction to that had been I never knew, so I never even thought about that.
Nor do I really care. She's bound to have found somebody by now. I hope.

[TonyMetal___86]

Don't know about others but personally i'd never break a girl's heart and if i did, i'll make sure to fix things, be sorry and make her happy again...

It's impossible for me to sleep at night knowing that i hurt a girl who gave me all herself and loved me from all her heart...

My answer is ofc i'll feel VERY bad until i make her happy again and fix the wrong things that i've done.

[LyvBee]

There should be more men like you 👍

[TonyMetal___86]

@LyvBee thanks dear for your nice words 😊

[Mofunfour20]

No. Why should i feel bad for making the decision to follow my purpose and happiness? She didn't support it so the door closed. She broke her own heart because she expected me to support her bad decisions. there's not enough tears in this world to cause me to reward bad behavior. Cry me a river

[Devlaw5]

Yes😂.. we’re human yk.. lol despite what society expects of men, we do have feelings, we do have deep thoughts, we are still human. The majority of men may not show emotion, and in this case the discomfort (fir want if a better word). That’s only because if they do they’re seen as weak. But behind those masks are real people.

[Rok4bakAR]

Yes of course! But since they’ve been telling us to be a man since we were 5 years old. And when we show our emotions girls turn us into friend zone and etc.. we grow up to learn to hearden our hearts. And never show any emotions. And girls take that as we don’t feel.

[smb930]

Is simply rejecting a girl truly "breaking their heart," or simply letting them down?

I feel bad either way, but there is a difference in the significance of it.

I've rejected girls before any serious relationship started for that very reason. I know they're let down, but nothing was seriously vested. Isn't that easier for them to get over?

[elduderinosupreme]

At this point I don't. I make it very clear I don't want to deal with bullshit. But I doubt I've ever actually broke someone's heart. I haven't had even a semi deep connection with anyone. My tolerance for petty bullshit has gotten less and less over the years. I've tried and I just can't do it. I do not have the patience for the intentional caused fights and the drama. I walk away from fights because I know myself far to well and I will say something that will really be horrible.

[RawIronhide]

The only way for that type of one way thing to happen is if the girl is wayyy to clingy in witch case he'll probably feel bad 50/50
The other is if he's an asshole who does it all the time and doesn't care.

[ohshee]

I van say that I have, because when I look in to there eyes I feel them I've had to hold a friend before and just say I'm sorry , but I know it's not meant to be and I want to stay friends , in time it all worked out

[OlderAndWiser]

I always feel badly about rejecting someone except one girl. After work, she asked me to take her home with me. I told her to go home and work on her marriage. That was forty years ago. I recently checked and she is still married to the same guy.

[Morgooo]

Yes. Rod Stewart recently said that one of his regrets in life was that he hated seeing a girl get hurt, so he often took the coward’s way out and disappeared instead of breaking up properly.

[sensible27]

That might have hurt them more no?

[Morgooo]

@sensible27 yes, that was his point. He was scared of seeing that look on their face so he hurt them much worse by not being upfront.

[JSmuve]

Some guys don't. Some guys do. I remember I rejected a girl back in high school and felt bad about it for a year straight. I'm sure she got over it faster than I did.