Do guys feel remorse when they really hurt a girl?

[Anonymous]

My best guy friend used to really like me. I didn't like him immediately, but when I did he turned around and was all angry it wasn't on his watch... so because he didn't like me anymore and he wanted a girlfriend he used me because he was bored and lonely. Do you think he feels anymore remorse for that or has he just wiped it off of his mindset? It's been a year... but idk, that was a pretty traumatic event for me. To go from best friends to... I can't be friends with him anymore was really rough. I still haven't found a replacement. What do you think he thinks when he talks to me or thinks about me? How bad he feels? Or how happy he is that he got his little revenge?

Yes

No

Sometimes

Other

Updates

+1 y

Definitely did NOT mean anything sexist about this! I was more pointing towards this specific case. Tottalllly not trying to start anything. Just a question.

[TheDigitalSaint]

It depends. You wanted him for companionship, he wanted something more. He felt rejected when you rejected him. Then you wanted him and he rejected you. Now everybody knows how it feels. The problem is with you two that you never had the same goal during the same timing. He hasn't hurt you any more than you've hurt him. I'd say you're about "even" if you can call it that.

[Asker]

I would hardly call that even. I didn't fake like him to get revenge on him nor did I ever use him.

[TheDigitalSaint]

You rejected each other, just at different times. Both of you acted hurt.

[Asker]

yeah it's weird

[TheDigitalSaint]

Nobody likes rejection, that's not exclusive to being female or male.

[Asker]

haha yeah no, obviously not. I still don't really think that's even. He didn't just reject me. He also entirely cut me off as a friend

[TheDigitalSaint]

Well, he might have done it for a good reason. If he really couldn't imagine being with you, he couldn't see you as a friend any longer. He must have felt very strongly about you. If he couldn't be a good friend, he probably thought it was best if you parted ways. It was probably for the best in the long run. It might not feel like that now, but he probably had some reasons.

[Asker]

I think you're right, it's still sad though. I know he really liked me. He came out and told me he'd liked me for 4 years. Is there anything I can do to make anything better b/t us?

[TheDigitalSaint]

You can always message him and let him know that you're willing to try and make things work if he's willing and that you don't want to leave things on a bad note between the two of you. If he responds poorly to such a gesture, I'd give it at least a few months before trying to get in touch again.

[Asker]

hmm yeah. he always said he wanted to stay friends. idk. I think his idea of friends means it's on his watch, not mine. If I call him, "he's busy," but he never really calls me anymore or tries to make plans I guess

[Anonymous]

There are so many assumption in there why he did what which leads you to conclude he wanted revenge. It's all a house of cards that you built yourself. You don't know his true intentions.

I will never understand how girls can (often) take a series of assumptions as facts.

[Asker]

no no, he TOLD me it was revenge. flat out told me it was revenge, he was using me and that he was bored and lonely. those are all coming from him, not me haha.

[Asker]

haha yeah, sorry, I guess I didn't make that clear. I never would have known any of this if he hadn't told me. He told me that he just wanted me, it was revenge, he was just using me, he was bored and lonely. I never would have known or been upset if he had said any of that. I would have just moved on like a normal person haha. But yeah, no haha, definitely didn't just assume those things! I'm not that dumb!

[taster]

Males are no different than females (No I am not offended or even thinking...let alone labeling... you as a sexist) Cannot generalize anything..I know..I do it too..but some males and females feel No Remorse...idk..I am not an Expert...but I feel as though most of these individuals are "socially broken" somehow...for myself I would feel remorse whether I hurt a female intentionally, unintentionally or because I felt that she gave me no choice.../:/:/:

[Asker]

gotcha. so what if you didn't mean to hurt someone and then realized you did? I don't know if that applies. this guy said he used me one year after everything happened. seemed so made up.

[taster]

Hard to say...yeah almost sounds like he said that just to be mean...and might not even be true..o.O

[Asker]

yeah, he took it all back and said there had to have been feelings involved for him ever to have done anything with me. He even took back the whole thing about how he meant it as revenge