Stay with my new boyfriend or go back with my ex?

Question

i dated a guy for 2 years. and we had a sudden break up. I'm currently dating another guy, for about a month now. I really like my new boyfriend, but thoughts of my old boyfriend are still around. and its really hard because my ex still texts me and gives me attention. its been about a year since we have broken up. he knows I have a new boyfriend but he still tries to get back with me. I'm the one who broke off the relationship to begin with. I'm not sure what to do. he was my first love. and he wants to get back together. but my new boyfriend and I get along great. I'm not sure what to do about this.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

This recently happened to me. I dated this girl for almost 2 months who was recently out of a bad relationship with a guy younger then her. She never had anything nice to say about him as he was controlling and even cheated on her at some point. He even moved out of state while they were together for some BS job he could have done here just for a change of scenery not caring how she felt about it. While her and I dated we would talk from morning to night. We clicked right away, we liked the same interests and even finished each others sentences at times. I've been with a few girls since my last real long relationship, but none had me fall as hard as I did with this one. The last 2 weeks we both went away on separate summer vacations which we had planed prior to meeting and continued to talk, but not as much as we were both overseas which made me miss her even more. I even told her it's been a while since I liked someone this much. When we both came back, I couldn't wait to see her but she kept giving me excuses on being busy. Her ex and I have mutual friends so I knew he was in town so I figured she was waiting until he had left to finally see me again because he was stalking her while they both were home as he recently had found out about me so I gave her space as I was also traveling for a week at the time. When I returned we finally made definite plans hang out, I was going to take her to one of her favorite restaurants... she seemed excited about it... I even got her a little something she mentioned she liked while overseas so I was excited to surprise her.

-CONTINUED ON NEXT COMMENT

Forgetable · Accepted Answer

To me it all depends on why you broke up with him in the first place, was it you, was it him, or was it something outside of the two of you that pushed you to end it with him?

If it was him and you don't believe that which caused him to be dumped in the first place is still the same (or just bad like cheating on you or something) then chances are you should just end contact with him and look to the new guy in your life.

However if it were you or something outside of the two of you, think about whether things are TRUELY different now, and could be put back together, if he was your first love then there was probably a reason for it, however if he's trying to push you into being his girl even though he knows you're with someone, it could either mean that he doesn't respect you the way he should, or he feels as though loving and being with you is more important than possibly tarnishing what you think about him by making the leap.

No matter the case, if you don't make a decision within a certain amount of time it could lead to the new guy you like questioning how much you actually like him essentially pushing him away, or leading the other guy to think that you just don't have love in your heart for him anymore.

I really hope this answer helps you sort things out, and find out what is best for you. Best of luck to you. =)

shygurl0897 · Accepted Answer

There is a reason why he is your EX-bf and he should stay that way. Don't be afraid to open up to the NEW guy and just let him in...completely. Your EX is just there bcuz of what you two used to have, its not worth going back into the same ole same ole before. So go with the NEW guy and let him love you and show you how you should be treated.

Tell your EX to leave you alone and let you go...better yet CUT your EX off...dont answer his calls/text...its for the best!

Best of Luck!

the-love-guru · Accepted Answer

Tell your ex to leave you alone. He had his chance. People break up for a reason. If things don't work out with this guy (who sounds nice compared to the guy who doesn't even respect that you're in a new relationship)... THEN make a decision. But people tend to forget the reasons they broke up with someone (don't let your need to be love cloud your decision making abilities)

Trust me, my first love crushed me, but I found someone waaaay better, and there's no way I'd ever go back.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You will always love your ex because you will always love your first love. I'm kinda in the same boat with what you are going through. But if you are fine being friends with your ex and you guys are close, then yeah still be friends with him. But that will probably get your new boyfriend jealous, because he is going to feel like you want him back. So be careful and just follow your heart.

henesseybabe · Accepted Answer

what was the reason you broke up with him in the first place was that valid if yes then stay with the second guy the first guy had his chance. I know its hard but try not to think of the old boyfriend and I think if you really wanted to be with him the relationship would not have ended or you would have been back together buy now.

justin47 · Answer

rebound relationship. and if I was your new boyfriend id be kinda upset that your talking to your ex but hey that's just me. just change your number and don't talk to him. keep dating the new guy. it helps thoughts go away. I dated a girl for 2 years that broke my heart and messed with my head. I think about my ex a lot but I also think about how she hurt me and won't go down that path again. I was depressed forever and tried to get back with her. but I realized that she wasn't for me and she was a player and made everything look like my fault. I'm meeting new girls and loving it.  best advice I can give is just don't talk to him. but depends on what happened. if you really love him and its been a year and can't get over him. it takes both people to talk out what's going on and as to why its not working out, not only one person

mshaker · Answer

Ur in a rebound relationship. Let me guess, you went to this new guy, and told him all the things you didn't like about ur ex, and he's not doing what ur ex did. BUT give it time, ur new boyfriend will show his true colors, and ur gonna say, sh*t what did I do... And ull wanna go back, but it will be too late.

So many dumb girls out there today, always thinking the grass is greener, when it isnt.

Gamergirl116 · Answer

He's your EX for a reason, stick with the new guy, especially if you two get along great.  Don't go back to old ways, just because you ex decides to give you attention and text you.. For respect of your new guy, you should stop texting your ex.  It will probably cause a little strain if this relationship get any deeper.  I would never date a ex, what makes you think they are any different since the last time you've dating them?

mntnre3 · Answer

Pick one and stick with it.  Its not fair to the new boyfriend for you to keep letting the old boyfriend hang in the picture and give you attention.  First loves are hard to get over and you broke up with him for a reason so maybe you need to relook at those reasons and decide if its worth trying with the new guy or going back to the old one.

BLUEPine · Answer

Well you can never have to many friends talk to him and figure out what is going on. If he just wants to be friends great, if he is trying to get back together tell him why you broke up. Since you are still thinking about your ex there is most likely something you don't have resolved, if you find yourself comparing your boyfriend to your ex you most likely like you ex more. Hope that helps.

smartazzblonde · Answer

he is your ex for a reason and no matter  how great it may seem to get back with him whatever the reason you broke up with him will surface again. Why go back when you can move forward. Of course you will always love him if he was your first love, but that doesn't mean you have to be with him. Trust me I know  me and my first love have been apart for 9 years and I still love but he just isn't the right one for me and there isn't nothing wrong with that.. Good Luck!

Anonymous · Answer

first you need to think why did you break up with your ex. people tend to want what they can't have at that time. so you might think breaking things off is a great idea then get back with your ex and be unhappy. with your ex being your first love as well it makes it tons harder because many people never get over that one person. ex's are usually ex's for a good reason because it didn't work some way or another. no one can decide what you want but you have to come to a decision because this isn't fair on your new boyfriend. if you want to make a go of things with your boyfriend you have to telk your ex to back off

lost-angel · Answer

If you're not sure, then you have to (temporarily) get rid of both guys.

Spend a week or a month with no contact from both guys. This time away from them will help you realize who your heart really wants.

It's not easy.. .but it really works.

audreymarie21 · Answer

if you can't decide who you want to be with, then neither of these guys are probably right for you. you may like them, but liking someone isn't enough to make a relationship work.

blazinbabygirl · Answer

it sounds like your ex wants what he can't have if there is one thing I have learned is that breaking up and getting back together with you ex never works trust me I lived it..i would give the new guy a chance and cut off your ex.. it didn't work for a reason && you staying in contact will defenitly make you still have feelings for him! good luck!

bekka07 · Answer

Here's something my mom used to say to me. A relationship is about seeing your partner with all his/her faults. And choosing to accept those faults unconditionally. So here is the real question. What fault did your exboyfried have, that made you end that relationship. Obviously it was a fault that you could not accept at that time in your life. Whatever it was, is it a fault you are willing to unconditionally accept now?

miranda-1 · Answer

MIsery LOVES company...do not go back whatever you do I just whent through that and it ended up horrible he was only giving me attention because he couldn't have me...now I messed up a perfectly good thing...I highly advise you to stay as far away from the ex as possible!

he will only make matters worse not saying he's a bad guy but he is a guy!

Littletad · Answer

It's far easier to go back to what's familiar, than to start anew. And this is one of the many reasons people never obtain happiness.

Anonymous · Answer

Rebounds don't work. You like your new guy now, but when your ex finally gives up trying to get you back and begins to date someone else- you will want him back.

Anonymous · Answer

it seems that your ex won't let go and you won't either.if you want to be with your new boyfriend, I say you have a talk with your ex and finally end things for good.

but then again if you havesome feelings for your ex, ask your new boyfriend to give you some time for you to sort out things and that can help you choose who you want to be with more.

lulu08 · Answer

If you decide to run back to something that you have a history with that your comfortable with let me tell you the guy your with right now you'll be posting about as soon as you do this on how much you miss him. DONT DO IT.

Cunclusion · Answer

So why did you and your first boyfriend actually break up it might have been sudden but there is always a underlying reason.

TaimoorUlHassan · Answer

Sorry for late reply, Ok Can I know about u. Means that ur name and some extra...I if you want?

Stay with my new boyfriend or go back with my ex?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Stay with my new boyfriend or go back with my ex?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.