Will he ever be mine again?

[Anonymous]

I have known my boyfreind for 10 years now. We have dated back then for about 2 years and went through not a great breakup, but kept intouch. We both had other relationships and somehow managed to start dating each other again just recently (August). He has a number of issues from being deployed PTSD, Bi-polar etc. He is also currently not working and struggling to find a job. For almost the past year I have been paying for basically everything which i dont mind because i know he will eventually find a job and get back on his feet. He broke up with me a few weeks ago telling me he needs to do him and get his life in order. He feels like he is a complete failure due to lack of job and me paying. He says that this might be the worst disision to do but its something he has to do. I dont why he has to do this when things will get better eventually. I am trying to give him his time and let him do his own thing like hang with his freinds etc since we were together just about every day. Its very hard to not be with him. He is my person and I want to plan a future with him. I need some help as to what people think he will do. Will we ever get back together? Mind you I still see him occassionally and talk to him daily. He won't be jobless forever and things will eventually get better. His family and freinds think he is dumb for what he did and forsee no one else putting up with his crap. We also went through something life changing back a few months, and had to deal with it. Will I ever be able to call him mine again?

Updates

+1 y

I want to say the same thing, but in my heart i dont know whats going on. I do believe he does need his life in order but i also believe he could have done that with me by his side. It was not only me whom he had told this to as the reason for us not being together it was a few people as well , which makes me think that he could be telling the truth. I guess i will just have to see.

[Andypants]

Right now, he has easy access to you. So he can be free and have you there waiting for him. I wouldn't!

I would show him what life would be like without you. I would do the no contact rule. Don't call him, and when he calls, don't answer or keep it short or act disinterested. I think he is taking you for granted. I also think this will help him stand up and take responsibility.

Again, right now it sounds like you are his doormat. I know, I just got out of a similar situation. I have issued the no contact rule, it has been two weeks since we spoke. I have had the opportunity to make some improvements in myself, I am no longer a crying mess. He broke up with me over the phone, I cried for almost two weeks straight. We lived together three years, I never seen it coming! I found out he was seeing someone, and it is killing me inside.

I am hoping I hear from him, as he is the love of my life. But, he needs to be allowed to miss me and appreciate what he had. I think the same goes for your boyfriend!

[little_bird1]

Same happened with my ex. He found a new girlfriend shorty afterwards. I think some people are just so full of crap and we are idiots to fall for it. If he wanted you, you would be his motivation, not something that stops him from getting better. I am just so sick of pathetic people who have to make out reasons for dumping us just so they don't seem like a horrible person. Spare me the "I need to figure out my life" bullshit and gather the fucking balls to say it that you got bored with me because you are a fucked up person who wants to stick his little ballsless cock into some immature slut with whom you can feel more worthy. People have problem admitting that someone is actually better then them. There are those who get motivated to become better, and those who run away. Your boyfriend is a runner. Leave him be.

[Asker]

I want to say the same thing, but in my heart i dont know whats going on. I do believe he does need his life in order but i also believe he could have done that with me by his side. It was not only me whom he had told this to as the reason for us not being together it was a few people as well , which makes me think that he could be telling the truth. I guess i will just have to see.

[Alicant310]

People have to find themselves. Even if that means moving into other relationships. If you can't understand that, then you really don't love him.

Instead of analyzing him though, I think you should be analyzing your self. A healthy individual would have recognized this wasn't the right time to be with this person. There's something going on with you