He likes me, but isn't over his ex. Please read!

[Anonymous]

I recently started talking to this guy I work with and I have known him for about 3 years. We both had serious significant others and I broke up with mine over a year ago. This August he and his girlfriend broke up after she cheated on him. Recently my ex (who is friends with the boy) gave him my phone number and we started texting all the time and ended up going on a date which was extremely wonderful! We talk almost every day and I'm really into him. I really want this to work out because I saw how much he adored and loved his exgirlfriend and I want that!

He tells my ex (Me and my ex are still friends) that he really likes me. However...he still is not over his exgirlfriend. I know it has only been 3 months and when you are so serious its hard. They were talking about marriage and when he found out she cheated he was absolutely heart broken. He went through a really bad stage and I know he made some very poor decisions. However my ex was looking out for me and found out that this guy is done with all that.

Last night though the guy texted me and I was asking him how work was and he said it was horrible and that it didn't help that someone texted him and said they saw his ex out with some other guy and she was all over him and that it just made him feel like going to sleep. My ex had texted me and told me I needed to get him to come out last night cause he was so depressed. I told the guy that I know it sucks and isn't easy, and that I wish there was something I could do to make him feel better. I also told him if I was there I'd give him a big hug. He texted me back and said that would make it much better but that he was going to bed.

So...I guess what I am asking is...Should I be nervous? I mean, I REALLY like this guy, he is great! I am willing to wait for him but..I just don't know about his ex. When they broke up I was totally on his side, even though I was more friends with her to begin with. You just don't cheat on someone. She hurt him SO bad, and I want him to know I would NEVER do that to him. What do you guys think? :(

[strawberrieblondie]

It really sounds like the guy in question needs more time to heal before you two start officially dating. It is clear that he is interested in you by the fact that you went out on a date with him and he always texts you. However, whining about a past relationship to you is a) unattractive and b) unfair to you. If you don't mind the complaining though, then I would say who cares. It does not seem likely to me that he would get back together with his ex because he broke it off with her in the first place. You sound like a very nice and patient person- if you have the ability to stick it out and wait until he is truly over her then go for it. No, I do not think you should be nervous. I do think that if he doesn't get over her soon (or at least stop the complaining) you DO have the right t be annoyed and find yourself a man who is more focused on YOU rather than a past relationship.

Hope this helped

[AlanHB]

All you can do is be there for him. It takes a long time to really get over relationships, and jumping into a new one before you're ready can have very negative effects. It's good for him to recognise where he is.