I've been dating this guy for three months this week. We see each other and communicate pretty frequently. He attended my company holiday party with me this weekend and met my parents on the same evening. I've been feeling the need to have "the talk" but wanted to be very careful about how I approached the subject. It's been a while since I've asked if he's seeing anyone else so I asked again yesterday and he said occasionally. I also asked for the third time if he was sleeping with anyone else and he also answered occasionally. Thing is, the first two times I asked he said no. Why suddenly did he say yes? I don't know how to handle this situation. I'm not ok with sleeping with someone who's sleeping with other people and I'm also upset that he lied to me. He tried to play it off as if it was the first time I'd asked but we both knew it was bull. He also tried to be all affectionate but I wasn't feeling it. He said, okay you're mad at me now and I said yes, you lied to me. That was the end of that conversation and we pretty much drove in silence on the way to my house. I heard from him via text later in the afternoon. He said he felt bad and asked if he made me sad. I still haven't responded. I just don't understand why he met my parents or why he's making plans with me in the future. How much longer does he think that he can string more than one woman along. Any advice?
He's seeing someone else. How do I handle this situation?
What Guys Said 2
You were interrogating him asking 3 times, so to give you an answered "he believed you wanted" - he said on occasion to enforce the fact of hearing what you do not want to hear.
Here's a test - let's see how long it takes until you have been annoyed. Answer each question without copy / pasting responses. Act as if someone was asking you this - without it being a "test".
1) Have you slept with anyone recently? (You should be feeling awkward, I'm a stranger)
2) Do you have any experience sexually? (Now it should just be creepy)
3) If so, how do you have experience? Describe it for me...? (Now it should be rude)
4) Who was it with? (Now I've gone too far and you are blocking up)
5) You can tell me, I'm not gonna tell anyone (And now I seem like a creeper, completely)
As you can see - I am pressuring the situation above as an example - by only asking questions that you are unwilling to answer. This may be different compared to your level of comittment with this individual; however, as it's only someone you are "seeing" then I don't see it appropriate to ask these questions so soon.
It's always nice to know; however, when he told you "no" the first time you should have accepted that answer and continued with your day.
Regardless - I would advise you to break up with him. 1) being that there are insecurities in the relationship about seeing other people ;; 2) that he may be offended ;; 3) that he gave answers that vary, after repetitive questions.
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I say this isn't beyond repair by any means. He should have told you that he was sleeping with other women so that you could be an informed consensual partner. I can see that he probably lied out of selfish reasons of not wanting to lose you just yet. But that aside, the truth is that you never asked for any exclusivity and you're putting the hurt of the other partners all on the lie. That's not fair to him. You're probably just as mad at yourself as you are at him.
Your relationship is at a very nebulous and delicate stage right now. If you like him and want him then you need to have the talk. He took the time to come to a company party and meet your parents so he seems to like you too.
You deserve to be angry about the failure to disclose. That said you just need to tell him that it's not okay and the he can't do that again, and then you get over it. The actual sleeping with other women was the risk you took holding off on the talk.0
What Girls Said 1
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