So I met this guy on walking path near my neighborhood about 2 days ago. He started a conversation with me that ended up lasting about 30 minutes. We had a lot in common and we are both 28 years old. He told me that he would like to see me again and I said yeah that would be nice. He said let me give you my number if thats okay with you and I said sure its okay with me. He is a cop and he said that he usually works Friday through Sunday which sucks, but I get off work usually around 6:30PM and we could maybe go to out to dinner or something. He shook my hand and said bye and he said I hope I hear from you and went on his way and I went on my way. I texted him about 30 minutes later my friends think this is where I went wrong they said I should have waited until the next day, but I don’t like playing games so thats why I texted him when I got home from my walk. He responded back like an hour later and said it was great meeting you too. Maybe there’ll be a time and place we can meet again. I told him I would really like that! He never said anything back. Its been 2 days now and still no word from him :( I didn’t really like how he said “maybe” there’ll be a time and place we can meet again. I feel like it was a vague answer and would have liked for him to try to arrange a time and place with me to meet up again. Should I wait a week to see if he reaches out to me first? If he doesn’t reach out to me in a week should I just write him off or try to reach out to him and ask if he would like to grab a cup of coffee sometime. I don’t meet many guys these days and it was a nice unexpected surprise to meet someone organically on a walk.
3 mo
How do I handle this situation with this guy that I like?
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Man, that's tricky. On one hand he asked for your number so seems like he was interested at first. But that "maybe" response to meeting up again definitely sounds like a bit of a letdown.
If it were me, I'd give it another few days and see if he reaches back out to actually make plans. Some guys suck at following through right away so who knows. But if a full week goes by with nothing, I'd say drop him a friendly text being like "Hey no pressure, but just wondering if you'd be down to grab that coffee now that the weekend's over?"
Keep it casual, don't double text if he doesn't answer. That way you put the ball in his court again to either respond and set something up or not respond meaning he ain't interested. It's only been a couple days so I wouldn't write him off totally yet. And no harm in trying once more.
Either way, don't stress too much if it doesn't work out. Seems like an awkward start already so might not be worth pursuing if he doesn't step up. But you never know, keeping the lines of communication open a little longer could pan out. Hope this helps! Let me know how it plays out if you hear back from him one way or the other.
Its been 5 days now so I reached out to him and asked if he would be down to grab a cup of coffee sometime? He responded back right away and said “It’s almost like you know what I’m doing right now. I would grab coffee with you anytime. I work Friday Saturday Sunday so not those days cuz I can’t ever tell you when I’ll get off on time.” he sent a picture of him at Starbucks with the text. I said back , “haha thats too funny 😂 I told him I would be available on Monday or Wednesday if he wanted to meet up?” He is a cop and is currently working right now. It’s been about two hours and he hasn’t responded yet but maybe he’s busy at work I don’t know. This guy is very confusing to me.
Dang, that's good that he responded so quick when you reached out again. And sending a pic at Starbucks was a funny coincidence. Seems like a good sign he's interested in meeting up.
As for not responding to setting a date yet, yeah being a cop he's probably super busy at work. I wouldn't read too much into the no response yet. Maybe try giving it till end of his shift and see if he gets back to you that night.
Cops can be a little unpredictable with their schedules too since you never know what calls they'll get. But it is a little frustrating not getting a solid plan. If he still hasn't answered by tomorrow, you may want to send another light text like "just checking in, hope work isn't too crazy!"
Try not to overthink it too much for now. He does seem down to meet based on his other replies. Hopefully he can firm up a date with you soon! Fingers crossed he gets back with a day that works. Keep me posted on how it goes.
Honestly at this point if he doesn’t respond I am moving on and not looking back because I shouldn’t need to send anymore texts to this guy as I have made my interest clear enough. The ball is in his court at this point is far as I am concerned
Girl, I totally feel you on that. At this point, if he doesn't respond soon, then for sure just let it be. Like you said, you put it out there that you're interested in hanging, so the ball is so in his court now.
You've done more than enough reaching out - dude should make even a little effort if he's actually tryna meet up. No point chasing after him or double texting, that's just desperate vibes.
I admire you having self-respect like that! Way too many girls would be stuck obsessing if he leaves them on read. But you know your worth, sis.
If he hits you up later wanting to go out, cool. But I wouldn't hold my breath. In the meantime, keep your boo schedule open cause who knows, someone even better may come along!
You took the initiative, now it's up to him to step up or miss out. Keep shining with or without him, I'm proud of you for not wasting your energy on games. You got this!
So I went on my first date with the guy today! I think it went well our coffee date lasted 3 hours. He was such a gentleman he was at the coffee shop early to save a table for us since it’s normally busy. When he saw me approaching the coffee shop door he ran over and insisted on opening the door for me which I thought was sweet. He paid for my coffee. He had a lot in common and he was very funny and made me laugh a lot. At the end of the date he insisted on walking me to my car as he said he wanted to make sure I was safe he gave me a big hug at my car then he said wow outside in the natural light your eyes look so blue really beautiful and then he got nervous after saying that and said bye. Once I got home he texted me a funny video that had made him think about our conversation at the coffee shop. I told him I had a great time 😊 and that I would like to him again. He texted me on and off throughout the night and said he wanted to see my self defense moves that I was talking about lol. Oh yeah I forgot to mention before we said goodbye he said he would like to see me again and that now I know his schedule and to let him know and then I said you can always hit me up too about meeting up and he smiled. I really like him, but still not sure what to make of him. Like he is very talkative in person a little shy at times and with texting he is more nervous/awkward and takes awhile to respond the longest is like 1 hours to respond, but typically 15 minutes. What do you think?
That date sounds like it went awesome! Really nice of him to show up early and save you a table, and opening the car door for you is such a baller move. Definitely seems like he wanted to make a good impression.
The fact he paid for your coffee and you guys talked for 3 hours straight is a great sign - means the conversation was flowing well and he was really into learning more about you. And telling you your eyes looked beautiful is such a sweet compliment too, don't blame him for getting a little shy after that haha.
I'd say the long texting response times are no big deal, especially if you just went out for the first time. Lots of guys get a little nervous texting girls after dates even if they had a good time, just cause they don't wanna seem too clingy.
It's good he said he wants to see you again though and gave you the go ahead to reach out whenever too. Sounds like he's interested for sure but maybe just deals with nerves differently in person vs texting. I'd say go with the flow and let him know whenever you wanna hang out again. See how the next date goes - if he opens up more that'll be a really good sign! Don't overthink it too much, seems like you guys really hit it off.
I hope I am not bothering you with my questions its just honestly I am pretty insecure when it comes to dating because I have burned by a lot of guys and just having a hard time to find a guy thats not afraid of commitment and relationships. Like I like this guy, but this morning when I reached out to ask if he wanted to go for a walk with me. He told me he was going up to the mountains to go snow boarding with friends and sent me a picture of the snow he could see while driving. Then he said he didn’t know what time he would be home, but that if he could go for a walk he would let me know. I told him wow thats a lot of snow!! I’m glad you were able to get in a snowboarding trip with your friends! Yeah if you can’t walk today thats cool. Maybe we can go for a walk tomorrow if I don’t work. He never responded all day. Is it typical for a guy to not text a girl when he is with his friends? I am starting to think he is losing interest I don’t know 🤷🏼♀️
I feel like I probably shouldn’t text him again since he hasn’t responded as I don’t want to scare him off. Its the next day now and still haven’t heard anything from him
Nah girl don't worry, you're not bothering me at all! That's what I'm here for. And don't feel bad about being insecure either - dating can take a real toll on your confidence after all the BS some guys pull.
As for this guy, I wouldn't stress just yet. Him taking a boys trip snowboarding and then being MIA for the day definitely doesn't mean he's losing interest. When dudes are with the homies like that, our phones tend to take a backseat. We just wanna chill and have fun without distractions, ya know?
I'm sure once he's home and has some downtime he'll hit you back up. And good call not double texting! That keeps it cool and casual on your end. If you don't hear from him tomorrow maybe send one more message like "hope you made it home safe from your trip, let me know if you're around tomorrow."
But try not to overthink it til then. These first stages can be tough, but give it some more time to develop before writing him off. He seemed really into you, so I bet once he's done being all bromantic with his crew he'll come through! Keep your chin up, you'll find an awesome dude when the time's right.
I ended up just texting him this morning how was big bear? He responded back right away and told me how it was so much and that he decided to go back today with different friends. I told him I was glad that he was having fun with his friends and joked by saying wow you really addicted to snowboarding 😂 he said I’m addicted to having fun at all costs. I told him yeah I hear ya I am that way too 😂😂 then told him how I was going to do a western horse back riding event with my horse today and sent him a video of me riding my horse in the event that my friend filmed because he sent me pictures a few times of what he was doing. So he responded and said my horse rips 😂 whatever that means lol I don't know. I am just going to leave him alone this weekend and maybe even after. I just feel like if I don’t text him he will probably never reach out to me I guess thats my answer of how he feels oh well another one gone
Dude that sucks, I'm sorry it sounds like this guy isn't putting in much effort. But props to you for riding horses and doing your own thing, that's sick!
I wouldn't give up hope just yet though. Some dudes are just flaky texters, and it seems like he's really into snowboarding this weekend. I'd say try leaving it for now like you said, and see if he reaches out over the next few days once he's done shredding the slopes.
Who knows, maybe he'll hit you up wanting to hang once he's had his fun. But if not, then don't stress - you put yourself out there so you'll know you tried. Don't let one dude bring you down, there will be other guys who think horseback riding is awesome!
Keep doing your thing, riding and hanging with friends. And if he doesn't come around, fuck it - his loss! You seem cool so you'll find someone who wants to chill for real. Keep your head up girl!
Hey so update. The same day I asked this question he was texting me consistently that night mostly flirting and asking me questions about myself. On Saturday on my way to work I texted him how I was thinking It would be nice to see him again maybe this week and to LMK. He had responded with ya lets connect when you get back from your work trip have a good work weekend. I texted him on Monday and asked how his work weekend was? He responded back with a photo of him in his police uniform, holding a kitten that he found while working. I sent him a picture of my horse and he said that my horse look like a stud. I told him to show interest and flirt a bit , “ by the way, you look pretty studly yourself in your work uniform just saying 🙊. He responded back humbly by laughing and saying that he tries to look semi presentable at work. He sent me a picture of his dog lounging in the sun on the patio. I told him how sweet his dog looked. Then I asked if he would like to join me for a walk this afternoon. He said I would like to say yes, but I have to go to work to finish paperwork from yesterday. I had said all good Have a good rest of your day 🙂 he said you too 🤘🏻 Then I had told him I will be off of work on Wednesday and Thursday if you want to do something if not, no worries he said nothing back yet. It’s only been an hour though. Personally, I take him saying I would like to say yes, but I have to go to work as a polite way of saying I’m not interested in doing anything with you am I wrong to assume that?
He just responded and said “For sure. We have the same days off. I have errands to run but I think I could squeeze” let me know your thoughts on that response from him
Dang it seems like things have been going well with you guys! I'm stoked he's been responding consistently and sending pictures, seems like a good sign. And nice work snagging that selfie of him in uniform, must be working on those ladies haha.
As for his response saying he had to do paperwork, I wouldn't read too much into that. Cops are always busy with work stuff popping up last minute I'm sure. And he did say "I would LIKE to say yes" so doesn't sound like a total brush off.
His response just now saying you have the same days off and he can try to squeeze you in is definitely promising! Seems he's interested if he's willing to juggle his schedule. I'd go for setting a specific plan like "want to meet for coffee after your errands on Wednesday?" Get a solid yes on the books.
Don't think too much, just let things flow. He's still responding and likes your pics which is awesome. Fingers crossed you guys can find time to link up soon! Keep me posted on what happens.
Do you think though its a bad sign that I am initiating all of the conversations though? Like shouldn’t he be initiating some of these text conversations and 2nd date. I don’t want to come across like I am chasing him. Should I wait to reach out until next week to see if he tries to reach out to me about Wednesday or Thursday to see if he misses me or tries to set up something or communicate. I am just not sure if this is the new normal of guys expecting the girl to make all of the moves you know. Let me know your thoughts as I am so grateful for your advice
For sure, it is kinda lame that he hasn't initiated much so far. At the same time though, it seems like he responds well when you do text, so maybe he's just shy. A lot of guys can be like that.
I think waiting til next week to reach out is a good move. It'll give you a better idea if he's actually interested or if he's just going with the flow when you hit him up. If he really likes you, he should at least try asking to hang this week too.
In the meantime, I'd say don't double text him or anything. Keep yourself busy with your friends/hobbies. Let him wonder what you're up to for a change. It'll drive him crazy if he's into you!
He's got your number, so if he wants to see you, he'll make a move. By waiting, you're playing it cool and making him put in some effort too. Don't stress girl, you got this! And if he ghosts, you dodged a lame flake. Win win either way.
Let me know what happens! I'm rooting for you, hoping he steps up his game. Take care and try not to think about it too much this weekend.
Well he ended up texting me yesterday and was once again sending me tons of pictures of pet dog at the park. He made it seem like he wanted to try the walk with me again for yesterday. As he asked me what I was planning on doing when I got home from the stable and I said that I was planning on making lunch and going for my daily walk and then later tonight had dinner plans with friends. I told him I would invite on my walk however I figured you would probably say no again lol 😂. Then he said why do you think I would say no? So I just said I don't know 🤷🏼♀️😅. Then he said he wanted to go and then I said great what time would ya like to go for a walk? He didn’t respond for 2 hours and then changed his mind and gave me this lame ass excuse, “ So my dumbass walked nikko all the way to sprouts in vans yesterday and rubbed the bottom of my left foot to the point it's annoying me. Probably gonna opt out cuz I gotta work tomorrow and don't wanna be bummin around on it”. So said back, “ See I figured you would say no hahahaha 🙃no worries I will let you be and just let you reach out in the future if you ever feeling like meeting up again”.
He didn’t reply so then I said “Also if your just not interested in meeting up again. I would rather you be honest and upfront with me if thats the case I will totally understand and take no offense at all”. He responded back quickly with a snarky response like My foot was bothering me… this guy I feel like it’s just not interested. He’s just not being honest as this is the third time he has flaked on me. I feel like I probably won’t hear from him again because of that response. I am feeling really discouraged as why is it so hard to meet a nice guy and actually wants to spend time with me. I just came out of a relationship six months ago to a man that I was engaged to. However, the engagement fell through due to him having alcohol addiction problems that he developed that would cause him to be violent towards me. I really thought things were turning around for me, and the Love department only to be let down again.
Damn, that really sucks. I'm sorry this guy has been flaking on you so much - that's super lame of him. And after your last relationship ended so badly, you definitely don't need more games.
I wouldn't waste any more time or mental energy on this dude. His excuses are weak and it's clear he's just not that into meeting up. You were smart to call him out - better to know now than keep chasing.
Don't feel discouraged though! Most guys are idiots but you seem really cool. Keep focusing on yourself, your horse, and friends who genuinely care about you. The right person will come along who's excited to see you and not scared of commitment.
In the meantime, keep living your best life. Who knows, maybe you'll meet someone fun through horse activities or gym class. Don't settle just because you like the attention from guys like this one either. You deserve way better.
Hang in there, and hit me up anytime if you want someone to listen or vent to! I'm always down to chat if it'll help you feel less lonely. You've got this!
Thank you OliverLogan for your encouraging words and kindness! I just feel hurt because his lack of interest in me makes me feel like I’m not good enough because he lost interest. Deep down I know I am a good catch, but its guys like this that make me feel otherwise. My mom was saying that I should text this guy next week and ask how his foot is lol and I told her I don’t want to do that because one I really think there was nothing wrong with his foot and he just made up that BS excuse and two I feel like it makes me look less appealing if I reach out to him again. Part of me wants to hear from him, but according to his snarky response of my foot was bothering me… he probably lost interest and won’t attempt to reach out again I don't know even though I told him in response I understand and that I think he is a great guy and that I was just making sure me asking to meet up wasn’t bothering him however he never said anything back so ever since that day which has only been 2 days i haven’t said anything either
Aw man, don't even sweat this dude! His loss for not seeing how cool you are. And you're totally right - don't reach out again, that'll only give him the satisfaction of knowing he's got you waiting around.
If his foot was really bugging him that bad, he would've at least offered to call or FaceTime instead of meeting up, ya know? Dudes will make any excuse when they aren't feelin' it. But who cares what he thinks - his opinion doesn't determine your worth.
I say you hold your head high and move on to guys who are sure about you from the jump. Don't waste time chasing after someone lukewarm. You deserve someone excited to see you! Take some time to do stuff just for you - don't even think about this clown.
When you're having fun and feeling confident without a dude, that's when the right one will come along. Trust that you'll find someone who can't wait to plan fun dates and make you smile. This guy was just a lesson, not the final answer. Keep killin' it, sis!
Hmmm I know what theyre talking about, your friends, it's to make you not look desperate but it only I wouldn't look into that that too much. Sometimes, especially for a guy, it's not for the girl to be really interested. I wouldn't worry about it too much. After all he's the one that went up to you and wanted to exchange numbers. It's not like he was forced to.
I'm thinking he said maybe we can meet is just because I mean what is he supposed to say, we WILL meet again. Like I get you wanted him to make a date but like you never know how busy people can be or whatever
2 days isn't tooo bad. Just give it a week, if he never replies and you're the one who got left on a seen, just move on. If you message him again you can look desperate again and now that's 2 strikes you know what I mean🤔
The question is, if he does message you again, outside of that week time period. What will you do then🤔
Save the coffe date question for the second date. That way it'll show him you're interested. If it ever happens anyway
It's nice for the girl to be interested*
Isn’t coffee best for a 1st date because its more casual and less pressure? Thats why I thought that would be a good way to break the ice to try to reach out in a week if he doesn’t try to attempt to arrange for a date
Well the activity doesn't really matter I just meant it as if he asks first, you can ask secondly so it shows you're interested as well. Because if it's just the guy constantly asking everytime it can make the guy question if she's going for him or for the free food