Most Helpful Girl
Obviously you stressed the hell out of him imposing a deadline for him to do something fatherly/husband-like and this is the root of arguments. Even though you are correct stating your needs (obvious to the world, if not him) he's not moving, regardless of deadlines, his feet are in concrete. Now he fears losing you (no mention of the kid) and crys like a baby to you when at work/other places... boohoo, poor him.
Agreed he loves you, thinks he would die if he lost you, begs you to keep him and things "as is" but... please tell us what IS this concrete that traps his feet from moving into his father/husband/lover role? Is it all in his mind?