Is this just about revenge?

Long story short my best girlfriend (who is slowly, but surely slinking away from that title) had several affairs on her husband over the last 3 years and fell in love with one of the men...then revealed it to her husband and spent the night at THAT man's house, dropped her husband off (just dropped him off) at MY house to give him someone to talk to & he spent the night in tears (poor guy, totally understand)...SO because she doesn't want to go through the messiness of a divorce & realizes her husband is a great guy...she chose him, he takes her back...no counseling.

So, anyway, months go by and she's still not getting her "sexual" needs met by her husband...he finally says, "do you still want to sleep with other men?" she says yes and he says what bothered him was the lying & he thought she was going to leave, so if those things are not there, he would be OK with it as long as she was safe. She said he could too, but he said he gets his needs met right now.

So time goes on and if you haven't figured out yet I TOTALLY have a crush on her husband! There have been times he has "jokingly" asked me to make out and "jokingly" held me in his arms and "jokingly" gazed into my eyes enough I sense I feel it too.

The other day all the friends were partying and he kept taking pictures of me with his phone and saying I am so photogenic...he then showed me the password to his phone so I could take pictures. We spent a while taking pictures of the both of us and each time he did he would say, "WOW! LOOK at you! You are so...cute! (pause I interpret because people are present), and continued to repeat I am cute...so we all end up on the couch and he and I end up on the love seat. He continues to talk to me, gazing into my eyes...took a twizzler out of my mouth & started sucking on it. He laid back on the couch & I had this instinct to cuddle him so I laid my head on his chest. His wife says "you NEVER let me do that", but we continue to lay there & talk. He puts his chin & nose on my head & I can feel him smelling my hair...eventually I hear that he has fallen asleep, so I drift off too. Some time goes by and we are both laying there awake & his wife goes to the bathroom. I tell him his heart started beating faster and he says all sarcastically, "I wonder why THAT is" and starts pulling me in tighter and stroking my hair" I put his other arm around me. His wife comes out and I get up and everyone goes home.

I spent the next few days in la la love drunk land. Trying to avoid him and my guilt for my friend and everything, but it all felt so amazing. I then had a thought, and it sobered me RIGHT UP! Would I not be the most PERFECT revenge against a cheating wife? I refuse to be used or a victim...my heart & my head are going in opposite directions, slowly I need to get them on the same page...please help!


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What Guys Said 1

  • This is definitely one of the more serious topic on this site, In my honest opinion I think you have more attraction to her husband than she does, and I think she's threatened by it for sure,she said he could do it too, so it wouldn't be revenge. Honestly, if you want your heart and head to be on the same page drop from the situation, give yourself time, Relax and think. I hope I helped a bit.

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    • Thanks it does...I guess what I mean is HE pursuing ME for revenge on his wife? Is he just using me? He has said more to me to make me believe he is not really happy in an open marriage, like he is emotionally abused, like he seems to be at, "do whatever you want to me just please don't leave me!" & he hasn't gotten to the part yet that he would do fine w/o her. The rational side says run away, you care about him, but he's just using you and there is no way this will turn out good.

    • Yeah I see no way easy way out of it, but I wouldn't sweat it to much, I know you want to care but he has to figure himself out first, so just take it easy, and don't interact TOO much.

What Girls Said 1

  • If they have an open marriage and you two feel an attraction...what is the problem...well the problem could be you conscience...If you chose to do this, revenge should have nothing to do with it...They have made their decision and that is that...Now you just have to make yours...Revenge is never a good motivation for anything...But realize...They are choosing to sleep with other people but remain married...Don't let you heart get fooled...Best of luck..Cheers!

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