Ex hasn't been with anyone since me?

So my ex mentioned this to me, and I'm feeling conflicted by this since when I broke up with him year and half ago I was kinda hoping he would date to figure out what he wanted... But hasn't. I know when we got together his previous LTR ended few months prior but this time he seems to be no hurry... Not interested? I dunno he mentioned before if we are meant to be together we will be and when I moved away he told me his mom was sad cuz now her "son is going to be alone" and last few texts were "I care about you" " I've been thinking about you with a kissy face" soo you think he still may want to be with me? I just can't stop thinking about him... And he's not giving me closure :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You broke up with him so you can't expect him to give you closure. In the end closure comes from yourself not the other person.

    From how you write it, him not being in a rush to sleep with someone is a good thing is hows self confidence and lack of needing to rush into something.

    The more important question here is why do you need him to sleep with someone? From how you write you clear care for him but are also feeling guilty for the breakup.

    As others have said, cut all contact for 6 months or more and let him figure out what comes with his life.

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    • It's not about me wanting him to sleep with someone rather sometimes when u date another person it gives u perspective... Or maybe that's just me I dunno. I did leave him alone a good 4 months but wished him "happy birthday" and he was touched I guess he sent me kissy face and "I've been thinking about you"

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    • You're a moron and a liar so good luck with that

    • Thank you, I'll do great :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • No one wants to be broken up with so of course that feeling will come across them to get your attention and get back with you. Not everyone who comes back in your life is meant to be with you for a round two. "If it's meant to be it will be " means when you first get in a relationship with someone the "meant to be" motto steps in and it's either the relationships works out or it doesn't. Don't allow manipulation to make you fall back in the same traps you got out of. Know one thing about guys and when they want something, most will tell you everything that you want to hear from sweet as in cookies&cream. He will butter you up so good till he breaks your huge wall you built up which separated the two of you. Don't be fooled because "Warriors sometimes go through the same battle twice". Just because you ordered pizza and someone knocks on the door and you receive it doesn't mean the second knock is an okay to open the door for the same guy because you didn't order anything else. Everyone gets served what they deserve and just because a knock is at your door doesn't mean you open it just to hear what that person has to say (relating back to the pizza guy). Some people you just gotta love them from a distance because it not only secures your time and not waste it but secures your heart. If it was meant to be it would still be don't be fooled by messaged because he knows that's the same thing that got you in as he's trying to figure out the ways you got out under his spell and is trying to pull you BACK in to his bull crap. Just a pep talk , i know when you break up with someone you want to see who their next gig is and who is the "new" girl but once you break up with someone try to focus on "you". You're eager to see who is his next girl anxious and hoping he doesn't find another one. Be glad that whichever girl he's going after won't be you because as much as you're looking to see what girl he's going after.. people who you doubt are watching are observing to see if you're going to go back to him.

    Don't walk away when him finding someone else and leaving you forces you to walk away because you have no choice. Walk away when you are given the open opportunity because no one can shield your heart but yourself. You guys might go back together, he kisses all over you, rub all over you and get you in the comfortable zone and all of a sudden feels as if he doesn't want you anymore and become ghost on you. Know what you're getting yourself into because he knows.

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    • Sometimes it's time to set things straight and think about things before you jump right on the train. That's how women get hurt because of "words" . Be the smart women you are and nothing is easy when dealing with guys you might go an entire month thinking about what "could've been" but on the other had you can regret going with him and go an entire lifetime thinking what "shouldn't been". Be smart, because if he loved you whatever reason you broke up with him for he wouldn't have put you in that predicament that forced you to break up with him and leave a relationship behind that was moving for "2 years". Time means nothing when the person doesn't love you as much as you love them.

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What Guys Said 17

  • Well since you was the one that broke up with him usually that person is the one that explain why they are breaking up with and end it (that's the closure). Your closure should have came the moment you decided not to be with him. I'm sure he probably wants to be with you still and that happens when a breakup isn't mutual. But stand by your decision and move on. Maybe even have no contact with him awhile might help both of you.

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    • I forced myself to break up with him... I even strategied it so I could mentally, emotionally and physically detach but I never truly did :(

  • You seem to have a lot of questiones about your ex. So I have to ask why you broke up to begin with because it seems like you regret breaking up with him and that both of you want a relationship with each other which is why these questiones are confusing me, it seems pretty cut and dry from where I am standing. So why did you break up?

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    • A combination of things but really he just seemed too content living at his folks and I wanted to move forward, marriage, kids. He didn't live with them when first started dating:/

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    • Yes... We''ll see if he agrees to meet up with me... but he did say when we were hugging goodbye that "I'm sure we'll see each other again." So maybe he will.

    • I'm sure he will.

  • It seems he enjoys being with you but he is a dead end for you. I dont see how he will be good at taking care of a family if he lives with his parents at this age. Not moving out is a red flag.
    It sounds like you both have different life goals and you should move on. You can do so much better.

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    • Yes, he has all the comforts he can do yard work, smoke meat, grill, garden, all that makes him happy and he will not leave that for anyone.

  • Looks like if you want him back, he's yours. He wants yo back, this should be fairly obvious. If you don't want him back spare both of you the drama and misery and don't lead him on. Please don't lead him on to keep as a "spare". It's a nasty thing to do to a person.

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    • No, he's not a spare to me... I'm not even interested in dating anyone else I just keep feeling like we are together but separated I dunno it's weird. I never felt quite like this before.

    • Sorry, I understood your question as "would he come back co me if I wanted him to?" I think most people saw it the same way. But it looks like you're looking for general feedback on the situation to figure out how you feel about it. It could help if you ask for more specific feedback by asking specific questions :)

    • I'm better at verbal then written sometimes πŸ˜›

  • Hmmn. You can't really tell from that. But a way to play safe is to be nice to his mother. Call her once a while she will get the news to him herself. He will be more moved to see do something for his loved one than to himself. If after a few weeks he doesn't call you to work things out then you can just try to move on. Just don't trust that he need you when he hasn't said so expressly himself. I and a guy and I think this is How I will be most moved without thinking less of the woman. My opinion though. Take care

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    • Thanks for the advice:) he's not super close with his mom like that but if he were that would be excellent idea! I think I have to just have a one-one talk with him for both our sakes maybe.

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    • Thank you... All this feedback really helps me reflect, be objective and I will be taking some good advice I've received :)

    • Happy to hear that. I pray it works out the best way possible

  • It would seem as if he is waiting to see if he will get another chance with you

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    • You mean by not dating anyone else?

    • Yes. That combined with still expressing some feelings. He seems to be holding onto hope

  • like clockwork... back every week to ask a question about her ex.

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  • Hi Lioness, I think he loves you so much and you love him so much too. This break will let you see this truth. In my opinion you are ready to get marry. He cannot do anything without your presence with him, and you will be always thinking about him without his presence with you.

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    • Awwe that's soo romantic but what makes you think all that?

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    • Don't do anything suddenly even if you know.

    • No I can't I live too far Way... maybe in. Couple months have a talk

  • Why do you want this guy back? πŸ˜•

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    • Because I love him and miss him...

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    • Yes... Being interested is not enough I'm afraid he's just too settled at his folks for now. I won't be able to convince him he has to do that. I know him well enough that it has to be when he is ready.

    • Ahhh I see. Then I guess try and move on thenπŸ˜•

  • ex hasn't told you he's been with anyone since you..

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    • Ex said he hasn't been with anyone since me.. like 8 months ago

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    • Ahh well that explains your thought processtben

    • indeed =D

  • Sometimes it takes a long time for guys to move on... Been their a long time ago...

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  • Fallow the first thought that crossed your mine when you heard he still loves you. If you hesitated then the answer is NO! But if it made you feel special then fallow you heart and cherish each other, work on the imperfections that caused the break up. You are hot shit and I see why he want you back. He was a lucky man and still could be.

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    • Haha thanks 😘 But he didn't say he still loves me.

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    • You are becoming that girl that ask for advise and in the end don't fallow the advise given. I read some of the other post and you're going from a hero to a zero to me. You know they say the hardest part of moving forward is looking back. STOP looking back!

    • I did take your advice... I'm gonna have a talk with him I just live like 1,000 miles away so it's gotta be planned.

  • Ok, you hook up a few months after he ended a LTR. If you were the first person he dated, can you say rebound.

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    • No... I ended the ltr...

    • Oops I was a bit out of it lol... I see u meant when I first met my ex. No, I met him but we we gradually started hanging out and then about 5 months later hooked up. In all after his LTR was about 8-9 months and actually he hooked up with a girl before we started dating so she's the rebound haha.

  • Bummer

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  • There are 3 possibilities.
    1- he is lying
    2- he hasn't been able to maintain a relationship
    3- he could be telling the truth but don't forget why you broke up with him in the first place.

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    • Well he lives with his folks so I'm sure he hasn't tried dating anyone... and he keeps telling me "I've been thinking of you" when I saw him 5 months ago before I left he said "I've missed you". and gave me A very long, emotional bear hug πŸ˜“

  • Don't text him back. He's your ex for a reason.

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  • How is this still a thing?

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What Girls Said 5

  • He is most likely just manipulating you because he isn't finding someone else at the moment/someone as good as you. If your ex truly loved you, you would never have left him in the 1st place. Don't fall for those fake feelings just because he just realizes what he lost.

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    • Maybe... but we wouldn't be able to hook up or anything so that's just wasted energy on his part lol

  • This is pretty straight forward. You need to ask yourself and be as honest and objective as possible. Is he the right one? There's a big difference between the right one, and the right now.

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    • He's not right now... I always imagined a future with him and I don't even want to be with anyone else now.

  • I'm kinda in your position. No closure and seems like he haven't dated after me.

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  • I think that he still have feelings for you

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  • Do you want him back?

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    • Yes... But I moved far away so he would have to meet me half way but I don't think he will leave his folks place he seems comfy there :(

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