My ex broke up with me 2 months ago after a 2 year relationship. He said he didn't think we should be together any more, but he still loves me, he just couldn't give me the relationship that I wanted (we're both 29 and I'm ready to commit spending the rest of my life with this man).
Anyway we didn't communicate for a month, then he text to say he thinks about me lots. Then 3 weeks later I asked him out for coffee. We had an amazing time. We got on so well and he complimented me loads. Then he hugged me goodbye and that was it.
That night he text to say it had been lovely to see me and that he had just wanted to give me a cuddle.
Anyway 2 days later I decided for once I would follow my heart and not my head and decided to text him to tell him that I miss him. This is the biggest sign I've given him that actually I still have feelings for him as I've tried to be as cool as possible since he left.
Anyway he text back straight away and told me he misses me too. He said he wished I was there with him and told me everything he'd been up to over the weekend. So I replied to say I wish he'd given me that cuddle and he replied to say he wishes he could right then! So I told him we would have to get used to missing each other and he said he missed me lots and had lost his best friend as well as his girlfriend.
I told him I'd lost a part of me to him and he replied saying "I will look after it x"
That's the last contact.
I don't want to get my hopes up, maybe he's just feeling lonely. However he isn't the kind of guy to admit he was ever wrong, and needs encouragement to express his feelings. So should I just wait and see if I hear from him? Should I ask him out? His messages last night felt like we were back together, but I know this is a slow waiting game.
Ultimately if he's not ready to settle down I guess this can't go anywhere in his head.
I love him so much. Do guys act like this to their ex's just to be nice and protect their feelings. Just because they're having an emotional wobble? Or because he's wanting the same thing I do right now? Any thoughts SO much appreciated!
Thanks again x
Most Helpful Girl
When it comes to ex's there is no real answer to what "he" is thinking. You know him better than anyone... From my experience, if the man loves you, he will be with you. For whatever reason why he isn't with you, is all on him, this decision has nothing to do with you (its how much he valued your relationship together). When men break up they have thought about it and anyone who is the dumper has to be selfish and put themselves first. Yes, sometimes we don't understand why but we don't need to we have to respect that persons decision. Men will not return to a woman out of pity, or anything like that.
Don't get your hopes up. He most likely does miss you (he wouldn't be human if he didn't after two years). But he really doesn't have a reason to be mean to you, does he? There shouldn't be any harsh words or feelings if the break up ended on good terms and if you truly loved each other. Don't continue to contact him because he is saying that he misses you but has he shown you? Talk is cheap let him make the calls and arrange the meetings (guys don't mind doing this for woman they care for) but this doesn't mean he wants to come back. Men like to feel appreicated and usually us women can't see all the good things that our men used to do when we were a couple but see it later (don't know what you have until it's gone). You know this, and you feel it. Let him feel it to. If you really do love him, which I'm sure you do, than leave him alone with thoughts of you, let him miss you (he was prepared for this it was his decision give him that time and space). Because losing you will should hurt him more than anything you can do, but he needs to figure it out on his own... You can never choose who you love but you always have a choice on HOW you love. How you want him to love you is up to you. Men value woman with standards, your standards right now is to be the prize that you are and let men come a chasing you.
Please try not to focus on your ex at this time. Use this time to bounce back into the world and meet new people, dam it meet new men! When you work with a break up rather than against it, you usually feel better knowing that you can't change what is happening at this time and just roll with what is given to you. Right now you have nothing but time, use it to better yourself and without doing anything your ex will hear about how great your doin without him.3