He broke up because he's stressed?

My boyfriend broke up with me because he's going through a hard time with family issues at the moment. He's been withdrawn for a while and no matter how hard I tried to help him he just wanted to deal with it himself. I was seeing less and less of him because he never made the effort anymore.

Last night, after I brought up the subject of us( I said he didn't seem to have time for a girlfriend), he eventually said that he thinks he should just be on his own for a while. I don't know if he's using these family issues as an excuse because he's just not into me anymore, or if he genuinely just wants to be on his own for a while.

Then he texted this morning just asking how I was, as if nothing happened. A few min later, after I didn't reply, he said he was sorry for last night. I still haven't replied yet and don't know if I should.

What does this mean? Is he sorry for breaking up and regrets it? Or was he just being friendly?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hopefully you haven't already text him back. Don't. Or if you do, just tell him that you are giving him what he wants and politely say he can't have it both ways- be on his own and still text you. He has already made the choice, so his text will just make it harder on you. It is selfish of him and unacceptable.

    I agree with him wanting separation. I think this guy needs some time on his own to figure out what he really wants. He probably just woke up this morning feeling a sense of loss (which is good - it means he cares), so he text you to feel you out to make sure he could still have you if he wanted you. As hard as this sounds, you need to give him what he wants. He needs time. He wants to be on his own. Fine. Let him be. Because if he doesn't take that time away, he will always wonder and may eventually start to resent you. And remember, absence makes the heart grow stronger. If anything is going to prove to him...AND YOU...that you want to be together, it is time apart.

    People think that taking time apart will ruin the relationship and make you grow apart. Time apart will only make you grow apart if you weren't meant to be in the first place. And if you weren't meant to be, nothing will ever change that, and it is better to find out sooner than later. It is either meant to happen or not. Time apart will allow you to separate the emotion and see things for what they really are. It will also give YOU time to see what you really want. I am sure after a couple of months apart you will be ready to forget this guy and move onto someone who wants to be with you. That's what you deserve. Frankly, what this guy has to give to you is second best. DO NOT SETTLE. You can't force someone to want to be with you, and why would you want to?

    Look forward to the time away and just focus on yourself and what you want in a relationship, not what he wants. You want someone who loves you and wants to be with you. You aren't getting that with him, so let him go and do what he has to do. If it is meant to be it will definitely happen. And your relationship will be that much stronger because of it. Let him go do what he has to do and don't take him back until he comes to you with his entire heart and says he wants to be with you without a doubt. You should not accept any less.


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What Guys Said 3

  • If his family issues are real, he's probably doing this because he cares for you.. I mean, who wants a boyfriend that is always depressed and not joy to be around?

    Sometimes I like to deal with my emotions by myself too, and so does my girlfriend, and I respect that.

    And texting you in the morning?

    He still cares for you?

    He might know that you're a bit upset, and wants to know how your feeling?

    He might be saying sorry because he is sorry?... I would be sorry if I broke up with my girlfriend and it was because of family issues.

    I say talk to him and see what's going on.. Just let him know that you're there for him.. It's all you can do..

    Hope I helped just a tad :)

  • i had something like this...i was depressed and I withdrew from my girlfriend a bit...wasn't as funny to her and wasn't motivated to do many things anymore...she didn't recognize I was upset about multiple things because well there was distance between us we went to different schools and also when I saw her I tried to put up a wall/ happy face...

    I think this lead to her leaving and not being happy with me and I really want her back...she likes a new guy one that makes her smile...something I used to do all the time with ease but I wasn't smiling myself so I couldn't make her happy...

    he has reached out to you and he doesn't want to involve you in his family issue he wants to keep his personal life separate from his family life...he cares about you and you care about him...just be there for him through this time and when things get better for him I'm sure you will be rewarded for it

  • A person undergoing stress or depression will seem to act as if nothing has happened but really they are just trying to move on, it's nothing to be insulted by.

    Seeing that he has reached out to you, asking how you are is a sign he still cares about you. I would text him back, the simplest thing you could do is say, "Yes I'm doing okay, do you want to talk?"


What Girls Said 1

  • Honestly, you can only receive the answer to these questions from him. I think you should give him sometime to be on his own, but answering something like a text shouldn't be a big deal, it could end up with you guys being back together if your lucky.

    BTW, if you know he's having problems with his family why but more pressure on him about ya'll relationship? He's going though a hard time right now (like you said) so just give him some space, and let him gather his thoughts to see if you guys can work it out.


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